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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!


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SOS Monstrometer version 1.2 - What's New!

Hail Survivors!

It is now here! The Monstrometer version 1.2 update!

The Monstrometer 1.2 update has been approved on the app store and is now available. You can get it for free here: http://itunes.com/apps/monstrometer

New in Monstrometer version 1.2:

  • New possible result – Draconian
  • New possible result – Angel
  • Fine tuning of interrogation algorithm eliminated several possible errors
  • Improved security vs Agents of Area 51 (specific details are classified)

Thanks to everyone who sent in feedback and suggestions! You know who you are, your names have been omitted for security reasons. Please keep sending them in.

Graham and I are already planning a really big set of updates to the Monstrometer and the website so stay tuned and wish us luck and keep on keeping on!


by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

98 comments to SOS Monstrometer version 1.2 – What’s New!

  • Wilwolf

    Dude, uv outdone urself, wit dis u might as well make a tv show on nikalodien

    • Thanks Wilwolf.

      And thanks for another great suggestion. If this Nickelodeon is a reputable news organization and 100% cannibal-free, then count me in!


      (Or even 99.98% cannibal-free. I could work with that. After all what organization is 100% cannibal-free.)


  • alexthewerewolF

    >.i just had the weirdest thought about that wilwolf.

  • alexthewerewolF

    wierd >.>

  • Andie

    Agreeing with Wilwolf. Webshow is great, but a TV show would be better! Maybe a segment on survival hosted by Seth on the news? Not many are aware of all the supernatural threats that plague this world, and something like that would bring more exposure to this issue.

    Speaking of TV, Seth, did you ever look into that doppelgänger you had a while ago on TV? Maybe it’s some new shape-shifting type of monster we have to watch out for? I don’t know, but that guy looked *too* much like you, I think it should be investigated.

    • Thanks Andie!

      I tried getting a segment on the Cannibal News Network but they just wanted to feature me on a cooking show… in a bad way. Were-Fox News was no better.

      If you know of any networks that you think could handle the Truth – Seth style then maybe send them an email to get them to check out the site.

      In regards to the clever double I suspect he is a spawn that comes from deep dark outer space. I watched the show though and I don’t see any resemblance. He is a good actor though.


  • Phoenix Mostroco

    Andie, im just asking, but are you human?

  • Anonymous

    if you ask me , that would be my first guess.

  • Andie

    I’ll keep that in mind. It might be a bit difficult to find a news network ready for it, but I’ll let them know about your site if I come across any.

    He IS a good actor! I’ve seen him in a couple of series he’s been in, pretty talented guy. Though, if he is a double, the methods used to create him still have a bit to go before they’re perfected. Looks like they couldn’t quite grasp Seth’s good looks. 😛

  • Phoenix Mostroco

    Um, you didnt answer my question!!!!! ARE YOU A HUMAN??!!?!

  • Phoenix Mostroco

    🙂 lucky…….

  • vAMPIRE @DDICT *,..,*

    OhMahGrapes!! yOU gUYS aRE wEIRD! I lOVE
    wEIRD!!!!! sO aRE aNY oF yOU gUYS lIKE
    pRETTY sURE yOUR a vAMPIRE?! iF i aM pART
    mAKE mE?

    • Hail vAMPIRE @DDICT *,..,*

      A vamprichaun? A leprevamp?

      As you are the first to pioneer the species, the honor of naming it belongs to you.

      Any more suggestions?

      All I can say is, do be careful when your leprechauny half starts commanding rainbows as they may cause your vampire half to burst into flame! Wear your daywalker ring at all times when you teleport on them.

      If you need any advice on daywalker rings, check out the vampires page.

      And thanks for writing in!


  • vAMPIRE @DDICT *,..,*

    OhMyGRAPES!!!!! mY hOUSE jUST
    mOANED/cREAKED ” gOODNITE”!!!!!!


  • Wilwolf

    Lol ur a hybrid vampire/leprechaun hahahaha lmao

  • vAMPIRE @DDICT *,..,*

    Yeh your right. Vamprichaun sounds so
    much better. And let it be so. Is it good
    for me to have a parent that is Sasquatch
    and another that’s a Demon?

    • Vamprichaun it is then!

      As for your question, it’s always good to have parents, the more the better. Up to a limit of around eight. After eight it starts to get a little loopy…

      Keep on keeping on vAMPIRE @DDICT *,..,*


  • vAMPIRE @DDICT *,..,*

    OhMyGrapes!! I found an SPF 100!
    Now all they néed to do is multipy that
    times 50!

    • Since SPF (Sun Protection Factor) basically determines how much longer you can stay out in the sun than if you are unprotected it would take a lot for a vamp to appear human. SPF 100 will allow you to stay out in the sun for 100 times longer than normal but since as a vamp you will burst into flames after only seconds of exposure then you might get a couple minutes with SPF 100. SPF 5000 (100X50) seems like that might actually do the trick. possibly giving you a couple hours before bursting into flame. However I suspect that if you were to use a high-speed camera and film a slow motion sequence of what happens when a vampire is exposed to the sun I think you would find that they probably turn red and blister and smoke prior to bursting into flames so I am just saying that even though it might give you a buffer before you become vampire flambe your “human disguise” might be compromised before that by turning red in only a couple of minutes.

      All that said I still think that if I were a vampire I would for sure use SPF 100 (apparently the best available) all the time as even a minute or two of protection is better than nothing for when that budding Van Helsing tries to bounce some daylight into your lair with a mirror or something.

      Of course a good daywalker ring will beat even the best suncreen but you never know when you might get deprived of your ring’s protection so a back up plan is always a good idea.


      P.S. Vamprichaun. That must make it hard to ride rainbows since they only come out when the sun is up. That must create some issues for you.

  • vAMPIRE @DDICT *,..,*

    Yeh, your right. Bout everything. I haven’t burst
    Into flames… Which is good.. But ima
    Curious… do we burst onto flames
    And leave sand or dust or what?
    ? *,..,*

    • Well that is a good question VA. I would say that after bursting into flames that what remains of a vampire would technically be called ash.

      In any case it is not how you want to end up so you should definitely avoid it. The bursting into flames part I mean.



    Hey Seth,
    Do you think Twilight is a disgrace to vampires?
    I do it makes me SICK!!!!
    Other than that it’s great!!

    • Well VA I think that Twilight biopics are fun but, as do with motion pictures produced in Hollywood, they contain a significant amount of propaganda. You can never trust the informational content of Hollywood movies so I would just take them with a figurative grain of salt and enjoy them for their entertainment value.

      You just have to ask yourself, who gains by having the general public think that vampires sparkle?



    Oh and I need your help. I have a friend of mine who doesn’t believe in vampires
    and he’s afraid of the dark.
    Well I tested him out….. yep
    He’s a vampire. How do I tell him?
    Repy A.S.A.H.P
    ( as soon as HUMANLY possible)

    • Hey VA,

      I agree with Darkwolf (See below). You may have to let them figure it out for themselves.

      In the meantime though educate them on some basic sun safety like always wearing sunscreen and staying out of the sun as much as possible.

      You also will need to keep a close eye on them so that you can help them out if required.

      Please keep us posted on this situation and keep on keeping on.


  • darkwolf

    Just tell him if he doesn’t believe then let him figure it out.


    He’s starting to believe me… I told him how
    ironic it was that everytime
    he went in the sun his stomach
    and head hurt. Why he had to
    wear glasses and sunscreen
    like me and why his parents
    gave him a rad lookin ring for
    His bday… So I think it’s starting to
    sink in …. but I’ll for sure keep
    you posted!!
    Thanks for everything and everything yet to come!!!!
    To come!!!


    Seth do you have any siblings if so what are they?
    P.S thanks for the nickname.. i like the way VA sounds…. short and sweet…. like me.
    Just kiddin…. or am I??????

  • Weredude1

    Hey i’m a werewolf and I need some advice I keep staying up late at night and sleeping during the day. If I dont find a way to stop my family might get suspicious. What should I do?

    • Hail Weredude1,

      VA has some pretty good advice there (see below). Let us know how that goes.

      You might be able to find more of your kind over on the Werewolves page:


      Keep on keeing on.


      • Weredude1

        I gotta say that’s some good information Seth the human but i wanna know somethin else. Since I’m,honestly, just starting to get my powers, in general, when will i have all my powers as a full blooded werewolf.
        P.S It’s funny that I’m asking a human this.

        • Hail Weredude1,

          While it is funny to be asking a human these questions, have you ever heard of a supernatural creature who did not have a human friend? Well I am honored to be your token human friend.

          The time from onset of symptomology to full powers varies greatly in werewolves. Some experience a rapid transformation while others take years or even decades for their powers to fully manifest. The good news is that if your powers take longer to develop they generally are easier to learn to control. Still be wary during full moons as sudden leaps in power development are commonplace amongst lycanthropes. This often but not always appears to be linked to how you developed lycanthropy. Those who are bitten often experience a rapid transformation often by the next full moon while those like yourself who genetically inherit their lycanthropy generally undergo a much slower growth of their powers.

          How are your siblings doing? Still acting strangely?

          Keep on keeping on.

          Seth the Human

          P.S. Sorry to be so late in getting back to you I somehow missed this question the first time through.


    I did that too but then I stood up during the
    day NO MATTER how tired
    I was… and soon I could sleep
    on a humans schedule!
    Ima vamprechuan by the way!
    And nice to meet you Weredude1!


    Kinda like sleeping on a different time

  • Weredude1

    Thanks man….and or she vamp…er leprechaun thing lol. It’s hard to find others like yourself ya know?

  • Weredude1

    Even though you are half vampire half leprechaun


    I know ima vamprechuan but I TOTALLY
    understand the werewolf
    changes… so many friends
    That I help!!


    Depends on the person.. Well werewolf… Approximate
    3-5 full moons in my past experiences.

  • Shewolf

    Pssshhh I must have gotten jipped cause I ain’t got no powers. Hey hey weredude. Bienvinidos. Welcome to our little family. If u ever need help from a fellow wolf look me up on the werewolves page along with all the other very helpful wolves there. Maybe one of thems knows. Sorry VA. I feel like I stole ur friend. Come to the werewolves page. It’s the best page. We have most posts. Yes yes swing by sometime.


    Weredude1 well what are your parents
    and if you have siblings what are
    they.. just generations
    of family info should help.
    And give me any info you think
    is useful so we can put together
    this lil puzzle!

  • Weredude1

    Well I think my powers come from my dads side of the family. I cant really be sure now cause he died in some freak accident involving an explosion (don’t be sorry about it either if thats what you are gonna say it’s ok). So, you see this might seem weird but I dont know about my brothers or sisters I’m the youngest of them all you see and if they did have powers they never told me.But I think they are hiding something…they say things sometimes that are suspicious. I’ll get back to you on the rest.

    • Hail Weredude1,

      Agreed, your brothers and sisters would be a logical place to start. I’m very interested to hear about the suspicious things they say. Do they disappear together periodically, like on a full moon?



    Ok tell me when you got more!

  • Teg

    Seth Congratulations on saving over 200,000 lives. Keep up the good work!

  • Anonymous

    And what kind of monster are you, newbie?

  • Anonymous

    Sorry about that. I can come on strong sometimes…… 😉

    • Teg

      Hey Anonymous np I’m just slow to reply. Im a so-called “Mermonster” but I don’t like the term. I also don’t like “merMAID” because I don’t clean up after people. I also don’t live in the ocean I have a salt lake & people come from everywhere to take some of my water because maybe it can cure them.

  • SYdney

    What about survival for supernatural beings who DONT kill people?

    • Hail SYdney,

      I support them all, 100%. What kind of supernatural beings who don’t kill people did you have in mind?


      • Sydney

        Werewolves. By the way at what age do werewolves usually transform for the first time?

        • Hail Sydney,

          My understanding of this from reports on the site is that werewolves transform at different times depending on a number of circumstances, the first being were you bitten? Or do you have parents or ancestors who are werewolves?

          Bite-transmitted lycanthropy is said to incubate quickly unless treated before the next full moon which I guess means an infected human would transform on the next full moon. However this may also depend some on the location of the bite and the depth of the bite, I don’t know.

          Now genetically transmitted, that’s a different story. Correct me if I’m wrong here, but the cluster of genes that trigger transformation may or may not fully express themselves within your lifetime depending on circumstances around you. It’s said that if you’re lucky enough to live a peaceful life, in peaceful surroundings then you may never transform. But as soon as there is a threat to you or your loved ones, watch out for the bio-chemical changes that indicated transformation is occurring… nails growing fast and long, out-of-control body-hair, acute sense of smell and sudden surges in strength along with intense jumbo-muffin sized cravings. Time to start tying your pants on, it could happen any day!


          • Sydney

            Thanks seth!what about the theories of remembering your transformations as a dream? Is there truth in that?

            • Hail Sydney,

              Thanks for your patience. As I was saying below this is something that does occur. Many lycanthropes change in their sleep and wake up thinking they had a very strange dream.

              Are you having strange dreams?



    Hey Seth,
    I have a friend who wants me to turn them… What do you think I should do? And he’s also in love with me… So what would be the best solution for us both?


    if I loved him anymore it would be called an obsession!!


    Do you have a special someone in your life?

    • Hail vAMPIRE @DDICT,

      Thanks for keeping on with me. Depending what you mean by special someones, I might say that I have several of them in my life. My mom for one and Sam actually is very, very special – I have photos of him on a short bus that proves it. And Graham too of course, we’ve been friends since grade two.

      But assuming you mean girlfriend? I THINK I still have a special someone, that being Naya. She’s at camp right now – she’s a camp counselor at Loup Lake summer camp so she can’t even text me which is kind of a drag – but I’m an optimist so I’m going to assume that she’s still my special someone until she tells me definativel otherwise. At any rate, she’s definately special, she can turn her eyelids inside out.

      Hope you are having a nice summer.


      • Sydney

        Is there any truth in the stories of remembering a transformation as a dream?

        • Hail Sydney,

          Just as with any story there is some truth in some of them and no truth in others. Remember to consider the source when deciding to trust information but it definitely happens.


          • Sydney

            Thank you I havnt been having strange dreams but my dad says I’m sleepwalking ALOT! 4 times last night and I woke up on the living room floor a few days ago

            • Well that is a lot of sleepwalking! Darkon had similar symptoms before he turned into a full draconian but sleepwalking can also be a symptom of several other types of monsterism like lycanthropy, vampirism, zombiism (let’s hope it is not that!) and possibly others.

              Have you been having any other symptoms? That may help us to determine what is happening to you.


              • Sydney

                I’ve been having the urge to run barefoot. Hmm. Oh my sence of smell is getting better what does that imply?

                • Well the running barefoot part sounds like a werewolf but depending on circumstances could also be several other creatures even potentially a mermonster. So a little more information about these urges would be good. What time of day to you feel like running barefoot? Where do you feel like running to?

                  Improved sense of smell also is indicative of lycanthropy but may also be a symptom of other monsters as well so it is probably too early to reach a conclusion. What kinds of smells do you most often notice with your improved sense of smell?

                  Good thing though is that both the running and the improved sense of smell seem to rule out Zombiism which is excellent news.


                  • Sydney

                    We’ll Seth I like running in the morning but I get the urges at night.
                    As of my sence of smell, ever since my dad quit smoking, its been getting better but not as derasticly as now.
                    Ps. After I run I. Become very .. Instinctive.

      • vAMPIRE @DDICT

        Haha!! Ok Seth!! Thanks!!!

  • Darkon

    That started happenin to me right before i turned full draconian.

  • Sydney

    Iv’e been very hyperactive lately, witch isn’t just like kinda hyper but more than my usual ADHD hyperactiveness is that important in any way?

    • Hail Sydney,

      Sorry for the late reply. Hyperactiveness is indeed a sign. What it is a sign OF remains to be seen. Too much sugar, spending too long in the house or an overwhelming desire to transfom into a wolf and run through the forest?

      A “typo” in your comment may also provide a clue. You wrote ‘witch instead of ‘which’. An easy typo to make but may in fact reveal something deeper within your sub-conscious. Perhaps you are adding mastery of the “craft” to your repertoire.

      Thank and keep on keeping on.


      • Sydney

        Hmm that’s really interesting. I doubt my hyperactivness j
        is caused by too much auger or cabin fever. It may just be that my pil isn’t as effective as it use to be. But there stories about my grandma being made fun of by a boy in a tree and she said something along the lines of you should fall out of that tree and break your arm and then he fell out of the tree and broke his arm.

        • Oh yep that definitely sounds like a witch alright. Curses are a major tool in the witches bag of tricks! You have to be very careful with curses though because whatever you put out comes back to you seven fold so be prepared.

          I am going to do some more research into correlation between hyperactivity and witchcraft and get back to you.

          In the meantime does your Grandma also have strange things in jars? Do you have strange things in jars?


  • Confused guy

    ….Is this a joke , I’m not a werewolf!

    • …yet…!

      Better start locking yourself in on full moons and tying your pants to your leg, just in case. Unexpected transformations can be very embarrassing.

      The Monstrometer never lies**


      ** It sometimes equivocates, malfunctions, underperforms and/or otherwise obfuscates… but never lies.

  • shewerewolf21

    i have a question. neither of my parents are werewolves and i was never bitten. how is it possible that i have these powers?

    • Hail Shewerewolf21,

      A very good question indeed. There are several possible answers, here are some of the more likely ones:

      1) You were bitten but you don’t remember it. Getting bitten by a werewolf is a very traumatic experience and the shock of it all can sometimes trigger a type of post-traumatic stress disorder in which your memories of the event are suppressed. The ability of werewolves to heal very quickly may mean that no wound remained behind to remind you of the event. Is there a time that you are not sure what happened? Like maybe you remember going out but you don’t remember how you got home? Or did you recently have a wound or cut that you don’t remember how you got it?

      2) It is possible to inherit lycanthropy from a grandparent or even a more distant ancestor. Occasionally for reasons not yet known to modern lycanthropologists the condition sometimes skips a generation or twelve. The gene(s) that cause/trigger lycanthropy may be recessive. So maybe do a little research into your ancestry and see if maybe there is a secret hidden in your family tree. Does your grandma like to chase cars? Does your aunt claim to be “allergic” to cats?

      3) Your parents may not actually be your parents… Just saying. It is possible that you were adopted or that there was a mix up at the hospital or that your “parents” are actually government agents or members of secret society assigned to keep an eye on you. Or maybe even your parents are members of a secret society and government agents and your biological parents. But probably they are just your parents and reason number one or two is the real answer.

      There are other possibilities but these are the most likely.


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