Fight Wish Waste 4 Wish Winning Ways
With falling star season upon us again, star wishers wonder what’s the winningest way to pin your wish on 60 to 100 stars per hour as they fall like fireworks from the sky all around you?
Don’t let the Season of the Wish pass you by. Be it the Geminids in September, the Draconids in mid-October and or the Leonids in November, don’t let this opportunity go to waste. Start wishing right, tonight.
1. Don’t Be Wishy Washy
It might seem fun or cute to start wishes with folksy rhymy old-timey preambles like:
Starlight starbright, first star I see tonight…
But that would be wishing wrong for so many reasons. For starters, with stars falling at a rate of 1.4 per second, how do you even isolate the first one you see?
For enders, this little rhyme effectively cuts off your ability to apply it to the 99 other stars falling around you. And don’t even get me started on:
I wish, I wish, I wish upon this star… <<insert rhyming wish here like: afar/jar/peace in Dakar…>>
Ever tried that one? And did your wish come true? Exactly my point. Be clear about your wish, write it down in the least possible words long before the sun sets and don’t worry about making it rhyme.
2. Technology Enhanced Wishing
Obviously even if you have reduced your wish to a single word with a single syllable like say, <<CAR>>, your ability to effective allocate this short wish to the shower of falling stars around you is still limited by two factors:
1. Your ability to see and
2. Your ability to speak as fast as stars can fall.
And let’s face it, loftier wishes are just harder to make. It requires a lot more words to wish for peace, security, dignity and long, healthy lives for every being on the planet or even to specify what you want on that pizza. And how many words can you say in one second? Try timing it and you’ll get my point.
No, you need technology to enhance your wishing. What technology? There’s a few options, most of them not invented yet. Maybe nobody has wished for it yet. So my wish plan for tonight is this; wish at the source! That’s right, you pin your wish right on comet that gives birth to all those falling stars and then you can get most of that debris before it burns through our atmosphere.
Easy. Now you just need an orbital telescope. Supply is limited, call NASA now to book yours.
3. Socially Enhanced Wishing
Friends can be the right tool for any job. Just ask Graham. With more wishers involved in any wish delivery, you’ll have a better chance of hitting all the stars and therefore maximize your wish fulfilment rate, guaranteed. I recommend a wish party. At least 4 – 8 wishers should do the trick. Then at the appointed hour you must:
1. Agree on a wish. This is the hard part. Too many wishers makes a wash. Face it, you’ll never agree.
2. Assume proper wish delivery formation.
- Laying on your backs, take off your shoes and put your feet together.*
- Laying on your back, put your heads together and hold hands.
*Thanks to Marty Ness and his friends for this correction on wish delivery formation. Apologies to any survivors whose wishes failed as a result of the previous description.
3. Divide up the sky. I suggest using constellations as your guide.
4. Wish wish wish!
Non-wishers never win. True they may not be disappointed, but then they have to live in a universe where wishes can’t come true.
Remmber, just because science can describe many of the physical and material facts that surround a phenomenon, doesn’t mean there’s nothing spooky and unexplained left to find. Just ask any physicist and they will tell you to never stop wishing.