Seth On Survival

Supernatural Survival HQ

You are here: Home / 2015 / Archives for October 2015

Archives for October 2015

Demon Star Lights Halloween Night All About the Algol

By Leave a Comment

Prepare for the Demons of Algol Guided by Demon Star

Add this now to your supernatural safety plan, prepare for the Demons of Algol out in full force  tonight, guided by the strange pulsing light of their star.

Learn all about the Algol
Learn all about the Algol

But Seth,  you say, for survival sake it’s too late to add to your Halloween checklist. You already reviewed and implemented your most effective supernatural disguise by now.  You already took these demon fighting tips from the Tower of London. Perhaps you even took this Halloween advice from the Vatican.

But if so, then you owe it to your supernatural self preservation to take a minute to learn about the Algol the pulsing Demon Star and to imagine the entities it guides as they will be out in full force this fine Halloween.

All About the Algol*

  1. The Demons’ Head

Algol is actually 2.85 star system of one bright star and two dimmer ones who rotate around the big one, causing its light to “pulse.” Imagine a lighthouse for demons and you get the general idea.

Ancient Egyptians saw how bad luck followed this pulsing pattern of light every 2.85 days and named it Algol, the Demon’s Head.

2.  One Demon, One Ghoul and a Severed Head

That’s what you’ll see. Hopefully long before they see you. That’s right, 2.85 demonic entities, on the prowl this Halloween night.

But what if you don’t spot them in time? What if they see you first?

It’s very possible. Probable even given the number of eyes involved here with a severed Gorgon head. But fear not!

Actually scratch that, fear enough, but don’t let your fear overwhelm your survival knowledge and using it to fight back.

3. Identify and Defeat the Smart One First

Only one is the real Algol, the real demons’ head.  The others are just a distraction  – one, a ghoul soulbound to  leader and the other literally a severed head. You must identify the leader immediately. Defeat the leader first and his entities fall too.

Now this won’t be easy. Afterall, not like the Algol will be wearing a name tag. (Exception: the demon baristas who work at Starbucks.) And the Algol knows how to fool you. You might think the Algol is the bigger one, the louder one, the better-looking one, the manlier one, for example. But the Algol loves to play with your mind so beware. The real leader here could be the little, funny-looker with the thin whiny voice.

(That said, you can safely check the severed head off your list. A body is still required equipment for leadership.)

No there’s only one real way to identify the Algol – a radiation meter. That’s right, the Algol demon will be the one emitting the most radiation, pure and simple so if you don’t have one on your device yet, better download one before you go out.

You say you don’t have access to a reliable geiger counter app? No problem. Just download The Monstrometer instead. It too will point to the Algol, 99.98% of the time under optimum conditions.

Algol active on Halloween Night
Algol activity on Halloween Night

4. Radiation-Proof Weapon & Shield

Improvisation is key here but in general we’re talking some combination of lead and/or tungsten and/or salt water here. Little known fact – even plastic will do in a pinch. In fact when it comes to neutron radiation, plastic is preferable. Bonus survival points if the plastic happens to be wet or capable of shooting some kind of saltine liquid – holy water gun anyone?

Whatever it takes to hold them off until dawn when the Algol’s power will need almost three days to recharge, ( 2.85 to be exact).

4. Keep Your Head 

Yes it’s hard to keep your head with demons around you are throwing theirs but somehow you have to remain calm and keep on keeping on. When that head comes rolling toward you like an infernal bowling ball, don’t turn and run, face it head on – pun intended! In fact, get a hold of the head if you can, it will make just as good a weapon for you as it did for Perseus.

*ALL here meaning all information contained within this report SOS supernaturally certified 99,98% true and accurate and may not be interpreted as ALL information in the known universe in relation to the Algol. For further information SOS recommends Wikipedia or Earthsky News….

HALLOWEEN SELF-DEFENSE EFFECTIVE DISGUISE ESSENTIAL FOR YOUR SURVIVAL

By Leave a Comment

Good Disguise Your First line of Supernatural Self Defense on Halloween

I said it a million times and I’ll say it again this year —->> on Halloween a good disguise is not just your ticket to a holy haul of candy, it’s your first line of supernatural self-defence on this most supernatural of nights.

First line of supernatural defense for Halloween is a good disguise
First line of supernatural defense for Halloween is a good disguise

Don’t believe me?

Believe the Vatican then because the Vatican itself publicly endorses my Halloween survival campaign.

Quick summary the Vatican exorcist Father Aldo Buonaiuto, of the International Association of Exorcists, recommends to disguise yourself as your favourite saint.

(Unless your favourite saint is Saint Polycarp of Smyrna, the patron saint of dysentery and earaches or Saint Fiacre the patron saint of people with STDs.)

Whether you choose a saintly disguise as the good father recommends or not, the point here is that ones far wiser than me understand your need for a safe and effective Halloween disguise. When the veils between worlds is thinnest, you need to go incognito. And choosing your disguise is the most important decision you will make — right after the pressing question of pumpkin bag vs. pillow case.

In the old, old days, true fact –>> parents used to disguise their kids as rotten vegetables, putting cabbages on their heads and such. And anyone who reads this blog should know that I have been calling for a return to this practice since 2010.

St. Drogo is the patron saint of unattractive people.
St. Drogo is the patron saint of unattractive people.

But I just want to point out that while stigmata and holy relics may be of some use defending against certain ghosts, gargoyles and demons, they help you not if Halloween brings the zombies and vampires to your neighbourhood. In fact, the blood stains, fake as they may be, might actually attract them.

Not to mention all that candy is bound to bring on a CANDYMAN…

No, your best bet is still a stinking, rotten head of cabbage or other large vegetable.

Of course if you haven’t been carefully cultivating your fetid head gear by now then it’s probably too late for you. My second best advice in this case is still just this – the least you can do on this day is disguise yourself as something that you’re not.

What I mean is, if you are a human, for heaven’s sake don’t go as a human. You’re not fooling anyone. If you’re a werewolf, consider changing it up and go as a zombie for once. That’s all I’m saying. Consider a saint if you want, by all means, just make sure you do your research and pick a mighty one, of whatever tradition. For dog’s sake, don’t count on Saint Drogo, the patron saint of unattractive people to help you under the evil eye of a vengeful witch.

Follow my advice this Halloween and your survival is guaranteed, 99.98%. And oh if you’re planning a Halloween party for the big night, a review of anti-vampire party planning is essential.

Your survival is guaranteed, 99.98%.

Due Diligence For Your Diabolical Defences

By 9 Comments

Lessons from London Tower for your Halloween kit

Halloween heads up from UK survivor this week, Agent RB, your All Hallows plan must go far beyond – and far below! – that effective weather-proof disguise and colossal candy collection contraption!

Indeed, if your checklist doesn’t include a detailed inspection of your first line diabolical defences, no amount of zombie makeup or stale chocolate can help you survive even a dust-up with a dervish.

Now as with all things supernaturally survivilogical there are no hard and fast rules, only ancient principals and old lessons that stand the test of time.

This supernatural life lesson comes from the roof of London Tower, where a series of symbols scratched into the wood reveals how residents there fought away demons in the mid-16th and earlier 18th centuries using the following knowledge:

Shape used to trap demons in medieval times.
Shape used to trap demons in medieval times.

1. Demons can only follow straight lines

It’s what makes them so infernally good at chess but on the bright side this also means you can trap a demon within a circle like this —>>

The London Tower roof has several trefoils like this one, designed to lure demons into the spirals and drive them insane.

For added efficacy, note how this Triskele shape also uses the number 3. Demons, as you know, hate the number three.

2. Demons like the number 6

Ever hear of a demon who didn’t like a hex? That’s why several ‘hexfoil’ symbols –  six “kissing” or overlapping circles – was scratched into the roof of London Tower.

You can make your own hexfoil at home using a compass or tracing the lid of a jar.

3. Demons fear nets

Know any religions that like fishing? Turns out it’s more than relaxation. A mesh net can catch a demon and prevent it from entering a building.

On Halloween, use fake cobwebs to make nets over the corners of the windows and doors to your domain and you’ll remain 99.98% demon free, guaranteed.

4. Demons are no good at anatomy. 

The good news here? You can easily fool a demon into thinking he’s too late to claim you…cause you’re already dead! All you need is a fake skeleton. The London Tower demon duellers made their fake skeletons from cow, sheep and rabbit bones, but today probably easier to pick up a pre-made pack of polystyrene bones.

Don’t forget to assemble your skeleton in a strategic location, that is any place where it can be mistaken by demons for you personally.

Knowledge is power Survivor! Now you know the London Tower Lessons, you can’t pretend that you don’t! Use them on this Halloween and your survival is virtually guaranteed.

And many thanks to AGENT RB for his email alerting SOS to this supernatural situation.

Can Zombies Fly? Zombie Zappers Clear Undead Forces For Takeoff

By Leave a Comment

Air force approves zombie pilots for flight using controversial zombie cure

Meet the military force expanding its ranks using a controversial zombie treatment technology known as trans-cranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) and the groaners on both sides.

Even if you’re not a zombie (yet!)  you’ve probably heard about this controversial “zombie cure.”

Experiments with tDCS on zombies
Zombie zappers Experiments with tDCS

Maybe you’ve even used a zombie zapper yourself following a close call with an infected walker. Haven’t we all at least once? 

Whether you ordered a portable kit online or made your own device like me using some wire, a couple washers and a nine volt battery – you probably blamed the bald spots and hairnet on your new job at the local Fried Foodlike Fingers joint.

And if it worked, the electric shocks delivered to your cranium may have saved your consciousness long enough to force a retreat of the zombie pathogens – if you weren’t too far gone already that is.

But I, unlike many less truthful supernatural survivologists who would sell you their signature devices, would never call tDCS a “zombie cure.” At best, Z-zap tech is a lifelong treatment that requires reapplication at consistent intervals. Sure, maybe you can manage your condition with a portable unit – until the day you forget to charge your batteries or shave the side of your head.

But even with strict adherence to protocol, the constant headaches and nausea could make you pull the plug and go full zombie just for some relief.

Considerations like these, however, have never stopped the world’s militaries experimenting with tDCS to recruit zombies into their ranks. The allure of a giant army of shamblers hooked up to one centrally controlled current has occurred by now to any military force with two nickels to rub together. Zombies are still much cheaper than cyborgs and robots or humans after all, making them ideal ground forces fodder.

Only now though has anyone wanted zombies to fly. The sheer number of decisions required to keep a plane in the air was considered too complicated, even for a new Stage Oner still able to pass all acuity tests.

Now those days are over! Thanks to a series of successful air force experiments at the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, near Dayton, Ohio, zombie soldiers are now clear for take off.

A move being hailed with groans from the ground all around.

“Ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeaaeeeeeeeaat nooooeeews,” said one zombie soldier when he heard the news and who indicated his intention to apply to the Top Gun program immediately.

Groans too from human, Bernhard Sehm, a cognitive neurologist at the Max-Planck Institute concerned about tDCS and the military. Sehm says online here that the real-world scenarios and complex demands of combat should not involve the use of zombie zappers.

“The enhancement of one specific ability might result in deterioration of another,” he says. “To use non-invasive brain stimulation in soldiers poses a risk both to the person receiving and to other persons who might be harmed by his actions.”

Not to mention the expense of drool-proofing the cockpits, he added off the record.

Spa Holidays On Mars Should You Book Yours Today

By 2 Comments

Mineral springs discovered on Mars but should you book your Martian Spa Holiday today?

With the discovery of underground water flowing on Mars, the Internet is awash with reports of all the ways it will provide what you need for your future on the red planet.

But as you consider the epic announcements, SOS urges caution with one claim in particular – Martian spa holidays are mere decades away, book yours today! 

mars-water

“Thanks to the discovery of water, holidays on Mars are a certainty within mere decades,” writes David Baker, the editor of Spaceflight, and the author of the Haynes Workshop Manual to NASA Mars Rovers.

This report, which appeared in most mainstream media, endorsed by space tourism booster billionaires like Elon Musk and Richard Branson, has resulted in a pre-booking rush by survivors seeking a space spa experience in Martian mineral water.

Can a mineral soak on Mars make you look like Martian Matt Damon?
Martian actor Matt Damon’s mineral water secret

“Martian mineral water is the best,” said one such spa-seeker who jumped at the chance to pre-book. “Just look at Martian actor Matt Damon. Don’t you want to look like him?”

Actor Matt Damon has refused to deny the secret to his pumped Martian physique is due to regular use of its mineral spas but canny viewers of his new space survival show, The Martian all note –  the film works very hard to hide the existence of Martian waters.

“We just didn’t want the secret to come out yet,” Damon stated in defence of the film. “I mean, what if anyone could look like me? Even you, Seth?”

“I don’t need that kind of competition for lead roles. You think I want to go back to working in the fire opal mines?”

More Mars news here.