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Earth Survives First of Four Blood Moons, SOS 4 Million Moon Winners Announced

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Unless the photos are fake, the jury is in, Earth has officially survived the first blood moon of the so-called Tetrad Event.

Earth survives another blood moon.
Earth survives another blood moon.

While I won’t rule out the fake photo possibility yet, there’s another Tetrad Event here at SOS tonight as the last of the 4 Million Moon Contest Winners will be announced along with one grand prize winner selected. Expect that announcement within in the next two hours. Meanwhile congrats to anyone on Earth who saw the blood moon and survived, including those survivors in Australia, New Zealand and all of the Americas who directly witnessed the epic three hour blood shadow pass over the moon in the wee hours of the morning.

Thanks to everyone who helped celebrate 4 Million Survivors here at SOS by subscribing, emailing, tweeting or generally sharing anything from the site over the last tetrad weeks. Please check below where I will be posting the final prize winners.

It’s been fun for me to look back through the archives to remember a few of the unsung survivors who kept on with SOS back when the site was just beginning. For those hardy survivors, Survival really was its own reward and for that I hail them all tonight!

Speaking of which, time for another 4 Million Moon Memory:

Supermoon Survivors of 2012 

–>> 2012 was a terrifying year with the end of the Mayan calendar due bring about the end of the world until a true Mayan Daykeeper was finally located to plot the next Bak’tun. Add to that there was 3 Friday the 13 events AND a possibly the most supernatural scare of all –  the supermoon eclipse re-opened the void wars  – er Void Wars* –  here on SOS. *If you don’t capitalize Void Wars, it summons Ice who takes that kind of thing personally.

–>> Although MR. MUTT disagrees it should be noted some survivors contend the Void Wars continue as per JERRY9012’s report not 5 days ago. Was this a warning for the blood moon? Has anyone checked the void – er Void – since about 5 am this morning? Did the latest blood moon make another hole? Will fast food restaurants fall as a result of the VOIDMUNKS?

Supermoon Survivors of 2011

–>> A record number of lycanthropes converged on SOS that super moon to comment on STIGMA ‘s campaign to let loose your inner lycan. Actually it wasn’t exactly Stigma, it was Stigma under the control of one of his fractured wolf-selves, the one known as Cinna. Let me back up. Stigma had this condition, where each time he transformed, he became a whole new, different WW. Was it time travel? A cloning experiment? Or a spell? To my knowledge nobody really figured out why, although the closest theory I’ve encountered is the Dyan Werewolf theory. Anyway, the point is, each time a new wolf self was created, it fought to remain. Eventually Stigma gave up fighting it and started a movement here on the site urging other werewolves to stop practicing controlled so-called crib transformations and just roam free on the Supermoon. A mysterious white wolf joined in his effort, probably the first time the White Wolf has actually spoken on the site, although it has appeared to many survivors since then.

–>> Lots of werewolves seemed to agree, but METALLICA FANGIRL campaigned on the other side but despite her best efforts many first time WWs met their first – and last – transformations that night.

Congratulations to Week 4 Four Million Moon Winners
Midnight brings first 4 Million Moon Winners
Midnight brings first 4 Million Moon Winners

 

Week 4 Winners: 

MadSparkles

&

New Bloud

Thanks a million to everyone for keeping on with SOS.

Check back tomorrow night – the last night of the full moon – for The Grand Prize Winner Announcement.

 

This Week In Survival Brings Blood Moon Tetrad, Flying Monkeys and Final 4 Million Moon Winners

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The SOS 4 Million Moon Contest comes to a bleeding end with a bang of four bloody moons, as the so-called Blood Moon Tetrad begins here on Tuesday April 15.

Four Blood Moons In a Row to celebrate 4 Million Survivors
Four Blood Moons In a Row to celebrate 4 Million Survivors

Now I can’t claim full credit for making the moon celebrate the number 4 with us here at SOS by lining up a dramatic celestial display of four lunar eclipses in a row. No the credit must be shared with NASA who broke the story here, the Americas for whom all four eclipses will be visible, the Jewish faith, for scheduling the holy days due to coincide with this auspicious event and the planet Mars for lining up with the Earth and Sun.

(Hey does this have anything to do with the Mars light SOS? Hmmmm…. makes you think doesn’t it?)

But what I can claim is this – when the first of four bloody moons rises on April 15, there will be prizes and survivors here, including one grand prize winner.*

So if you haven’t entered the four million moon contest yet, there’s still time. Not much time, mind you but more than enough to pick any one of the easy free ways to enter here before midnight Tuesday night, EST.

*Offer pending continued survival of the Earth in general, you and me in particular and soothsayer  televangelist John Hagee’s expected qualification of his apocryphal prophesy that the tetrad event will usher in the apocalypse.

Until then, check back here as we check in with survivors keeping on keeping on around the globe, starting with:

Warning from Hatter this week
Warning from Hatter this week

Flying Monkeys Ahead:

–>> A note from HATTER who is either tracking the appearance of flying monkeys – or else giving them directions! Unless you are a witch or a flying monkey, you might want to plan an alternate route to Oz this week.

Flying monkey hunters take note, this species is still closely protected and controlled by a council of very crusty witches

Missing Reaper Scythe

–>> An update from BLUESTAR about the REAPER’s missing scythe. To recap – the Reaper has been reclining on the couch working on palindromes of all things, ever since his scythe went MIA in a cataclysmic full moon event. Good news some say for the souls on his revolving list, but likely bad news for the rest of us as a completely unqualified being could be taking up his scythe as we speak….

White Chocolate Bunny Alert

–>> Being myself of the mainly caucasian persuasion, I don’t think it’s racist to remind you the white chocolate bunnies are here, so be prepared. Remember to sleep with a hammer beside your bed on Easter weekend, if you don’t already, because a significant percentage of these trojan Easter confections contain this creepy confection demon lurking inside. What percentage of white chocolate bunnies contain this creeper remains unclear. I hope to clarify the numbers after the blood moon, after conducting my own white chocolate buy and smash test this week. (Last year I made the mistake of bringing my hammer into the stores and let’s just say it didn’t end well.) If you are a bunny nibbler, learn to smash before you gnash! It’s the only way to scare the spirit away.

SOS Humans Are Coming Martian Light Mystery Solved

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The mystery of a strange light that appeared from beneath the surface of Mars this week has finally been decoded by experts who say the Martians are sending an urgent SOS message to the solar system, help us the humans are coming.

An SOS signal from Mars has been detected this week.
An SOS signal from Mars detected this week.

The news put to rest a week of intense speculation about this light detected in an image on April 03 by Mars Curiosity Rover.

UFO watcher Scott Waring first broke the news that the Martians, widely believed to live underground – or at least hide there whenever humans come probing – were clearly caught on camera projecting light from an artificial source.

“This is not a glare from the sun, nor is it an artifact of the photo process. Look closely at the bottom of the light. It has a very flat surface giving us 100% indication it is from the surface,” he writes on his UFO Sightings Daily website.

While his findings were dismissed as findings often are, by some who say the light is more likely caused by underground lightning, also very cool, or a so-called vent-hole light leak on a glinty rocks, SOS can reveal the truth today. The light is an SOS signal and the message is clear – Help us the Humans are coming.

Professor Dominicus Van Buren, who first broke the code through careful sequential study of all widely available photos on the Internet, says The Martians have clearly been made aware of humanity’s full slate of Mars missions for the near future.

“Think about it. Would you want an endless season of Spring Break In Space shooting in your back yard?” said Professor Van Buren, alluding to Mars One, a proposed televised Mars colonization plan, due to begin shooting immediately. “Not every species dreams of having a network TV show,” he added, a clear dig at me.

Unfortunately the net result of their signal so far has only been to increase the speed and number of humanity’s proposed visits to their fine planet. NASA has already announced they will interpret the Mars light signal to mean hello please send more probes with cameras. On their website NASA states the main purpose of this new probe will be to address key questions about the potential for life on Mars – which remains an open question for the camera-shy underground Martians as well at this point.

Why Are Fairies Following Professor? FBI Agent Investigates

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Fantastic fairy photos from a British professor this week prompted a former FBI agent to investigate and caused the world to wonder, why are fairies following this man?

Why are fairies following this man?
Why are fairies following this man?

When Professor John Hyatt released these images on social media, he swore to the world they were not altered in any way, shape or form. The fairies, he said, began appearing in his nature photographs snapped on long walks through Rossendale Valley.

His photos immediately attracted the attention of the supernatural world, including former FBI Agent Ben Hansen who whose own investigation concluded the appearance of these fairies could not have been an accident.

“It would be quite a coincidence that the fairies all happen to emerge in front of the camera at the precise distance needed to be in focus,” he said on his SiFy TV show.

Former Agent Hansen could not answer the question on many minds, why are fairies following this particular professor? Is he in fact posing them in front of the camera? The answers are flying on the Internet to day. SOS invites you to read a few of them and judge for yourself.

Are they posing for the professor?
Are they posing for the professor?

Historical Hoax Theory:

In this place in 1917, two girls fooled the whole world with their own photographs of fairies. For the infamous Cottingley Fairies Hoax, friends Elsie Wright and Frances Griffiths took photos of themselves frolicking with fey folk later found to be made of cardboard – but not before fooling the entire world, including some very famous people. As a result, some say, nobody would ever believe a human who claimed to have seen fairies in this spot here, making it the safest place for fairies to meet.

Fairies Want to Work With Professor Hyatt

Professor Hyatt’s work at Manchester Metropolitan University involves bringing magic into the real world to achieve healing. He denies being a wizard or magic user himself, that is his stated job description. Are the fairies trying to impart a healing message to the professor? If so, what could it be?

Professor Hyatt Is Summoning the Fairies For His Own Reasons

Although the professor used to play in a punk band, in recent times he has been caught on camera playing a number of highly suspicious instruments including this one:

Professor Hyatt plays a number of suspicious instruments.
Professor Hyatt plays a number of suspicious instruments.

Why the sudden change of heart? Many believe he is using them to call the fairies to him as part of his mysterious magical mission. Is he really summoning them with a song and making them dance? If so, is this really about healing somebody or something? Or some other mysterious personal reason?

I haven’t made up my mind yet, but two things at least are very clear to me today. One, if the Professor is summoning the fairies with magic music, he better be prepared for unexpected consequences. Fairies do not respond well to command performances. The magic they bring to him may be much more than he had in mind. If he is hoping to hijack a tooth fairy, for instance, he could wake up tomorrow with a mouth full of fairy dust – and nothing else. True story. Happens all the time.

Two, readers are cautioned to not make the mistake of many Internet entomologists today. Fairies do not take kindly to being called bugs. Or insects. Unless you want to spend your summer swatting swarms of mosquitoes cursed on you by an festering fey, do like me and just keep that idea to yourself.

Holy Grail War Waging as Cup Disappears Again

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Pilgrims flocked to Spain this week to see a 2,000 year-old cup bedazzled by a medieval princess only to find it suddenly gone, fuelling both faith and cynicism that Princess Urraca’s bejewelled cup is the real Holy Grail.

Did an 11th Century princess hide the real Holy Grail?
Did an 11th Century princess hide the real Holy Grail?

“It always does that!” said one excited if somewhat disappointed believer outside the San Isidro Basilica. “The real Holy Grail always disappears, as soon as it knows that it has been discovered. Well that plus kill everyone who tries to control it.”

Critics meanwhile claim the cup’s disappearance has more to do with historians trying to sell their book, Kings of the Grail, hiding it away to evade scrutiny than with any holy magic.

“I want my entrance fee back,” said one such critic who had to be reminded it was just a suggested donation anyway. “Jesus would never drink out of a fancy cup like that. I only came here to complain about it in person.”

But Margarita Torres and Jose Manuel Ortega del Rio defend their supernatural claim. They say Princess Urraca of Zamora deliberately blinged-up the Holy Grail with jewels and precious stones to hide it in plain sight from her jealous siblings after inheriting it from her father, King Ferdinand.

“Plus, she probably wanted to make it prettier. The princess was known for that. She would have found the Holy Grail pretty plain,” said one historian, using another photo to illustrate his point (see below.)

Assuming for a moment the historians are correct, was the crafty princess trying to keep the cup safe with her jewels and stones? Or bedazzle it into her power?

The historians describe the blood wars waged by the princess against her five siblings, that only ended with all of their deaths.

“See? That’s what I’m talking about. It does that too. Everybody dies where the cup is concerned. Except of course the pure of heart.”

Followers of this theory contend that the cup has likely been stolen by a descendant of the princess of maybe even the princess herself, risen from her tomb inside the Basilica.

Did a cunning princess disguise the real Holy Grail?
Did a cunning princess disguise the real Holy Grail?

Critics of Dona Urraca’s cup insist however it could never be THE Holy Grail, wherever it is. Even if such a legendary cup still existed, it could never be blinged-up like this on, not even by a powerful princess.

Will the chalice’s re-disappearance usher in a new era of Holy Grail warfare?  Or is it just a supernaturally good book publicity stunt? Or both?

“You can expect more death and destruction now. And insects. At least until somebody with pure intentions finally finds it again,” said one Holy Grail quester. “I hope for their sake these historians were not trying to use the power of the cup for commercial purposes. That would put them in great danger.”

Margarita Torres and Jose Manuel Ortega del Rio’s publicist states there’s nothing impure about selling books however, and that they will find Dona Urraca’s cup again and defend their holy claims until the end.

This Week In Survival April 05, 2014 Brings Week 3 of Prizes

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With Easter on the way, I was personally relieved to learn this week about Starbucks supernatural symbols and triple-filtered holy water.

Reminder from Kurogane to stock up.
Reminder from Kurogane to stock up before it’s too late.

Between that and a good sledge hammer, I’m ready to survive a visit from the spirit of Easter.  I’m referring of course to the Easter bunny ghost who hides inside virtually every hollow white chocolate Easter bunny. 

(And if you haven’t read this important Easter warning from ?WOLF  yet, I urge you to read it now before it’s too late.)

I was also relieved to read about a new company in Singapore launching a website capable of selling me an iTunes card on Monday. I’m sure SoTM KUROGANE who has been very patient with this situation, will be relieved as well.

Speaking of which, if it’s This Week In Survival, then it must be time for some Week #3 Winners in the Four Million Moon Contest. Thanks to everyone who entered this week. It’s all 100% free of charge and obligation. Every little click, comment, review and follow helps me keep on keeping on. If you haven’t entered already, there’s still technically time. Just follow the link above and pick one of roughly 4 million easy ways to do it. We’ll start going through the emails and comments now, putting the names in the hat  – and summarize and/or reply where possible –  before announcing the next two winners at midnight, EST.

4 Million Moon Winners This Week:

THE DRAW IS DONE FOR THIS WEEK. GO HERE TO ENTER NOW FOR THE NEXT SATURDAY DRAW:

Midnight brings first 4 Million Moon Winners
Midnight brings 4 Million Moon Winners

WEEK 3 WINNERS ARE… oddly enough:

WOLFBLOOD

WOLF

…who are not the same person, although likely a similar species.

Thanks to everyone for keeping on with SOS.

Survive out there and see you soon, I hope.

4 MILLION MOON MEMORY: 

–>> Speaking of ?WOLF, the same wild werewolf who liked to wake up in a spiderweb hammock but not in an alien zoo could control the wind and taste the color blue! What does blue taste like, you wonder? Me too. Lick the sky and find out. Anyway, she used to stop by SOS to offer very brief but valuable advice, including one of my favourite Easter warnings about the danger of white chocolate Easter bunnies. How could I have missed that? I mean really. White chocolate? So obviously oxymoronic it could only have been created by a demonic entity like an evil Easter spirit. And why else would Easter bunnies be hollow anyway? Thanks to ?WOLF my eyes were opened to the danger of these trojan Easter confections and how to deal with them – this Easter remember, smash before you taste.

–>> And on the topic of Easter warnings, anyone remember HELPINGFELLA?  who lived up to his name with this photo reminder of a psycho Easter bunny spotted some two million survivors ago. Get a good look because this nut could be out again this year delivering Easter baskets and chainsaws.

OF PENTAGRAMS ON INSTAGRAM:

–>> Pentagrams demonic or no? Thanks to all the survivors who weighed in on the this, from MR. MUTT to MADSPARKLES to FENRIR. 

–>>I think we can all agree that whatever the esteemed history and real meaning of this symbol, there are in fact many demon kind who like to use it, in ways both good and evil, maybe precisely because humans misunderstand it. This misunderstanding gives it great power. (Just look at how many free lattes  Meghan Pinion got for her tasty pentagram. How powerful is that?) And remember the history of LILITH  and VELANKO?

SEEKING MUCK FLOUNDER & MERMAIDS:

–>> BLACK LAGOON is back looking for muck flounder substitutes and mermaids but how did he end up on land?And does he really look like this?

EASY SPELLS ANYONE?

–>> MSURPRISE is looking but is there really any such thing? Is it as easy as Ms. MadSparkles once claimed? Isn’t there always a cost. 

THANKS MR. MUTT

–>>For this reminder. For those who don’t know, SOS really is maintained by me, one guy, with the help of one buddy, and occasionally a few other dedicated survivors, including all of you. Not a big company – or a company at all. Our survival takes supernatural effort. And I’m grateful to everyone who contributes, even if I don’t always show it at the right time. That’s why we do these contests on every full moon Survivor of the Month and every million survivors or so. It’s a small way to say thanks for now and we hope someday to be more.