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Frost Moon 2013 Survivor of the Month

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As the Frost Moon waxes away, I’m happy to say the SoTM curse has been carried without incident for another month and can be passed on.

Who will it be?
Who will it be?

Thanks to the fortitude of The Reaper,  Kzazrier and Mary the chain remains unbroken and so the curse will keep on.

Carrying the Survivor of the Month curse is a heavy burden, just ask anyone. The forces of darkness, chaos and ennuie lurk everywhere in the heart of survivors. Alone it can be too much to bear. Even for the 5th most famous Supernatural Survivologist on the Interwebs.

(What’s that Graham? Actually we’re down to 6th? Whatever. I’m still first most truthful.)

The point here is, that I rely on these Survivors of the Month to help me keep on keeping on, and even offer a small – albeit somewhat cursed – prize to say thanks for going above and beyond your own survival, to help others live to tell their tales too. This month we basically narrowed it down to 2 survivors and then drew to get the Survivor of the Month.

So without further ado, here come the clues.  Thanks to everyone who contributed to survival this month. You keep me keeping on. If this survivor can just carry the curse for another month, in approximately 27 days there will be another.

mark of fenrir

Guess the Survivor of the Month:

1. Might ask you to unbind him. But don’t do it, especially if you’re a Viking. Even if he promises to give you this. Is he really talking about passing on the curse, as Devorah and The Doctor did before him?

2. Is a friend of the dragons.

3. Hates frost wraiths.

4.Subsists mostly on a diet of beef, pig and peanut butter, in part because humans taste like armpit and in part because he doesn’t want to eat the sun. (Or so he claims.)

5. Has a distinctive mark (above) – 3 claw marks, the middle one longer, right paw only SEE CORRECTION HERE. This mark has been spotted around Survival HQ. If he gives you this mark, it can increase your strength and power temporarily, at least until it heals.

6. Gets a little surly sometimes on the end of his chain, but in part this is because he misses Brigantia and maybe in part because he recently survived an encounter with the so-called Slender Man.

7. Has coached several werewolves through difficult transformations. While SOS can not endorse all of his advice, there’s no denying the evidence that the werewolves that he assisted did indeed survive.

8. Being chained spends some of his time penning pithy poetic warnings that are strangely inspiration, like the following:

I have little to fear for death is small
So many worse things I’ve felt through it all.
But I cannot die My time is not done
and if you attack me you’ll wish you had run

9. Why is he banned in Russia? Something to do with the Mongols here.

10. Knows a lot about the Nemantion spirits.

If you haven’t guessed it already, the SoTM this month is Fenrir the demigod wolf spirit in dwarven chains.  Fenrir helped many werewolves through their first moon and submitted several excellent warnings to the site, including a series of recordings which helped save an untold number of survivors in the woods on the full moon.

But as Fenrir himself says, he is already cursed once. Will he be able to carry a second curse for the next 28 days, long enough to pass it on to another survivor? Or will he elect another survivor to help him? Stay tuned.

Frost Moon Rising 2013 Will There Be A Survivor This Month?

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Howling wild moon photo by Wolf Boy.
Howling wild moon photo by Wolf Boy.

Feeling the chill yet wherever you are? Maybe you or somebody you know, seeing his own breath on a glass or mirror? Are you like me, finding frozen spam everywhere?

Then it’s time to take cover, that’s the Frost Moon effect. Between the full moon and the frozen spam storm (void chipmunks anyone?) it’s maybe not the best time for Graham and I  to be uploading the new Monstrometer but hey we’re FINALLY done so we’re giving it a shot.

Meanwhile let’s catch up on the week that was and see who’s still surviving, supernaturally. And answer the question on everyone’s mind – including mine –  will there be another Survivor of the Month? Did THE REAPER contain the curse long enough to pass it on to another unlucky survivor, just as KZAZRIER and MARY did before him? Or will the chain of Survivors of the Month forever be broken and lost in the void forever?

Even I don’t know the answer yet. Please keep on keeping on…

DEMON FIGHTING UPDATE

Reaper recommends Enochian Symbols to fight demons.
Reaper recommends Enochian Symbols by Water Pixie to fight demons.

–>> So far so good. THE REAPER appears to be alive and reaping but not sure we can say the same for The Rolling Stones at this point.  Check out REAPER’S report on the anti-demonic use of Enochian symbols here. But which of these symbols do you use against a Nematon demon? Find out BEFORE you make an appointment at your local ink artist!

–>> Hmmm… but the KZAZIAN addendum on unstable auras and the use of certain foods is also instructive – if a little bananas. Maybe an enochian symbol out of a chocolate-bannana cheese cake? But which one to make?

–>> Does this explain the mysterious disappearance of survivor NEW BLOUD?  What exactly did he see in the woods that night?

–>> Be sure and check out KNOX THE HOVERING’s comprehensive report on the Slender Man while you’re there. You’ll think twice before crossing the playground this moon! How did he survive?

–>> Read WEREWOLF13’s interview with KZAZRIER on his Shadower report and decide for yourself if he has the real scoop on New Bloud’s disappearance. WW13 has seen the Slender Man in the woods near her home. Many thanks to her for getting the scoop. Will she hunt him down and find NB tonight?

–>> Or will ADISA be forced to attempt an exorcism?

Who’s Back? 

–>>  THE BEAST recruiting for a study…? Will HATTER the monster therapist and SOUP really help him? Does anyone recall the last time he was around? Cause I do. He was recruiting werewolf blood for a study and a few werewolves including LycantheProtector along volunteered and well… let’s just say the Lycan man hasn’t been around much ever since…

–>> Did the DARKONE really raise MARY from an untimely temporary mid-transformation death? If so many thanks for helping to save the SoTM chain from the curse.  Just don’t call her a dude.

Now What I Do With All This Troll Soup?

Soup that comes in a bag like this not likely to help with your demonic head cold.
Soup that comes in a bag like this not likely to help with your demonic head cold.

–>> Survivors please learn from the error of my mistake. When you get a tip involving supernatural demon-fighting products connecting vicious subterranean bridge dwellers AND too many vowels together – i.e.: o-a and NOT o-u …. well the result can be disastrous. Take it from me. When Fenrir appeared to be advocating the use use of TROLL SOUP on the site, of course I went searched under every troll bridge around the world until I found a vender. Only after it arrived in this biohazard shipping container did I realize the error of my mistake. Of course I could have just listened to the survivors who realized it first…

How To Spot a Real Pandora’s Box Learn From Man’s Mysterious Death

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Could you identify a real Pandora’s Box before you open it and suffer a horrible heart-stopping fate? If the answer is no, read on and learn to identify a real Pandora’s Box before it’s too late.

How will you know a real Pandora's Box?
How will you know a real Pandora’s Box?

When a survivor emailed me news of UK man Jason Airey’s mysterious death after opening a box labelled PANDORA’S BOX, I like you suspected a hoax. After all, everyone knows Pandora’s box was actually a metal jar or pithos in addition that is to a metaphor for any blessing that is really a curse and arguably a profane one for Pandora’s own anatomy.

But it’s time to re-think this opinion with news this week from a coroner’s inquest into Jason’s death.

The facts NOT in dispute today are this:

1. A man named Jason Airey died mysteriously in his bedroom one night last May.

2. A metal box clearly labelled Pandora’s Box in red letters was found open beside him.

3. A coroner’s inquest was held this week to determine if this was in fact a real Pandora’s box death or something very much more common, like say, drugs or a undiagnosed health problem.

So what did the coroner find in the dead man’s body? No drugs or pre-existing health condition, just a heart that stopped beating for no known reason, in other words entirely consistent with a Pandora’s Box death.

The first Pandora's Box was actually a pithos like this one.
The first Pandora’s Box was actually a pithos like this one.

Even more suspicious, it has been revealed that the dead man worked for a division of a packaging company called Metal Box that specializes not in making boxes at all but in fact manufactures modern metal pithos.

Pandora’s pithos, the one given to her and her husband Epimetheus by the Greek God Zeus as a wedding present/punishment, probably looked a lot like the one in this photo.  In ancient Greece a pithos like this would have been used for storing liquids and grains, even sometimes liquids with grains which of course leads to the production many kinds of  alcoholic beverages, among other things.

But in the case of Pandora’s pithos, nobody knew what it contained because Zeus gave her strict instructions never to open it. Only Zeus knew that it contained all the evils of the world and oh yeah one sort of nice-ish thing, at the very, very bottom of it, that being hope.  A fun punishment for his old enemies the ‘Methius brothers and their pet humans.

Zeus reportedly made Pandora curious enough that he knew she could not resist opening the pithos to see what it contained and thereby unleashing all of its evils – and its tiny hope at the bottom – and so humanity has been vulnerable to the death-causing contents of pithos every since.

Important to note here, this fact – while Zeus reportedly made Pandora, he did not in fact make the pithos. So where exactly did Zeus get the evil safe containment jars? Somebody had to make it. Who made Pandora’s Pithos?

Flash ahead a few thousand years, Jason Airey worked for a company that made pithos, a company strangely called Metal Box that does not make metal boxes at all but actually makes metal beverage cans and jars on contract for many different companies who sell the hope at the bottom.

Did Jason find out the truth about his job? That it involved manufacturing a line of Pandora’s pithos, to contain evils and a little bit of hope? Who was he bottling evil containers for? Did he write the words Pandora’s Box in red on the open object by his death bed in hopes of alerting the world? There are no photos of the Pandora’s Box that killed Jason anywhere on the Internet. My inquiries to the Metal Box company have gone unanswered. Unless you count vague threats of legal action which normally I do but in this case, I don’t.

Until a photo is found, survivors are advised to please stand by and be wary of any metal pithos with strange markings that claim to be selling hope.

This Week In Survival – November 09, 2013

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Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!
Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!

Got gleipnir anyone? Cause it just might come in handy this week in survival.

If you did happen to survive this week, with its demons of unknown origin snatching up snoggers and mermonsters looking for bones to sculpt, check back here where I will attempt to summarize, eulogize and/or wisely otherwise-ize whoever’s still keeping on keeping on out there with colorful links you can follow and comment on yourself…

 

 

Breaking News

–>> NEW BLOUD sent this ominous warning and photo. What does it mean? Listen here and help figure it out before its too late…

New Bloud disappeared shortly after seeing the so-called Slender Man.
New Bloud disappeared shortly after seeing the so-called Slender Man.

Pick Your Demon Survival Stratey:

With a hug-hating demon on the lose, should you:

1. Get out your Enochian symbols (REAPER’s THEORY.)

2. Avoid making out in Nematon Groves and chopping down trees? (FENRIR’S THEORY) or

3. Business as usual! This demon can’t hurt you. (ADISA’S THEORY)

Please follow the links and weigh in.

Any Packs Recruiting? 

–>> WW seeks the right pack. DARK ONE also wants to know how can she trust that I’m not with Area 51. Unbelievable…  

** Also if you really believe that I might be with Area 51, please don’t give your personal email or location info here on the site. Please no hints hints about your real name or location. 

Do Sparkles Make You Maaaad? 

–>> They do me. Here’s why. And finally for the record, my reply. Hate when I overlook ones like this.

Anyone Missing a Zombie? 

–>> HATTER claims to have found a zombie named Anson – how was he able to confirm his name again? – anyway point is if you are missing a zombie friend or ahem pet, you might want to have a word with the site’s self-proclaimed monster therapist. 

(Also get ready to hear from ZYBORAGON because he generally doesn’t stand for that kind of zombie abuse.)

Poison Nightshade?

–>> Has NIGHTSHADE been poisoned? Or poisoned by him? Will SCARLETT re-find the REPLY button again in time to figure this out?

Why Did The Mermonster Play With Its Food?

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Why did the Kraken, a tentacular ancient mermonster reported to eat whales and sometimes entire ships, play with its food?

Why did this famous mermonster play with its food?
Why did this famous mermonster the Kraken play with its food?

An American scientist has a fascinating new theory, along with startling new evidence this week about the ancient mermonster known as the Kraken.

That’s right, the Kraken is rearing its many tentacles around the world again this week.

From its scaly roots in ancient lore where this most famous mermonster was sometimes thought to be a beautiful woman cursed by the gods and other times the demigod children of Poseidon, to a university in Massachusetts today where a scientist named Professor Mark McMenamin has revealed new proof about the existence of the ancient mermonster along with an interesting new fact that it did something very bizarre with the bones of its food.

The professor says he has found the ichthyosaurus bones of a Kraken’s lunch arranged into very unusual patterns and shapes. The odd configuration of the bones, he said could only have been put that way by a much larger predator, like a Kraken who were known to be over 100 feet long.

“There is virtually zero chance the sea’s currents could have moved these bones into such an arrangement,” he told a meeting of geoscientists, adding that octopus are also know to do this with their prey.

So the question of the day, why would the Kraken play with its food?

With cryptozoologists and supernatural survivologists around the world now working to try to answer that question, here are the prevailing theories, for your consideration:

Did a mermonster turn these dinosaur bones into art?
Did a mermonster turn these dinosaur bones into art?

1. Kraken, like other advanced species, were artists at heart, trying to express something deep in their scaly hearts or possibly just trying to spruce up their lairs to impress potential mates.

2. Kraken, like most other enchanted and/or cursed beings, would be desperate to find the way out of their condition. Is this evidence of a spell in progress? Or an attempt to communicate the details of her situation to an outsider?

3. Kraken, like anyone eating the same old ships and sailors century after century, sometimes get bored with their food. Can you blame them for playing with the bones?

What do you think? Check out the photo that Professor McMenamin studied. It shows the arrangement of ancient dinosaur bones.

Think Twice Before Snogging In Public Demon Targets Couples – True Survivor Report

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The apparition of an angry demon causing the disappearance of a cuddly couple on Halloween night has the city of Pickering, Ontario in turmoil today, according to another true survivor report from THE HATTER, monster therapist at large. Is this a classic case of a demon who targets touchy-feely couples or just another excellent lesson that demonstrates the need for a good disguise to survive the All Hallow’s Eve?

Couple disappears after demon attack
True Survival Report by The Hatter: Couple disappears after demon attack

Read on if you value your supernatural survival.

First consider the case against cuddling. Demons, like psychopaths, are well-known for attacks on couples prone to public displays of affection or PDAs. For that matter, it should be noted that demons don’t really like private displays of affection or PDAs either. Study after survival study has demonstrated the touchy truth that handsy humans are always the first to suffer in any encounter with a demon.

Primarily this is because demons, while really unholy awesome at a lot of things, generally have difficulty in the er, generative way. This is one of the main reasons they go around making deals for first-borns and popping up in sweaty situations where they aren’t exactly invited.

Is this what occurred in the photo reported by The Hatter? –>>

Look at the known facts. When this Canadian couple stopped for a snoggy sojourn in an empty field on Halloween night, they wound up… gone. Judging by the photo, it appears they may have may have been literally melted into a gray and gooey heap, very likely subsumed into the demon itself.

But wait. On the other hand, this photo, taken on Halloween night, clearly depicts a couple who failed to heed the example of the ancients on this Hallowed occasion. How many times do I have to say this? Why do you think they hid their babies in rotting heads of cabbage? Because they smelled better? Possibly partly, but even so then why do you think witches historically claim this season? It’s not just because there’s new straw for their brooms. Your ongoing existence today is proof that it takes the hard work and good disguises of everyone to keep the supernatural forces of darkness at bay when the veil between the worlds stretches thin.

And the first rule, as every survivor knows, is that while your disguise doesn’t have to be epic, it should at least not look exactly like you. As in the case of these two humans. At least I assume they are human. Although, I would have to scan them to be 99.98% certain, judging by this photo, they certainly appear unabashedly human.  And that should be a sobering lesson to every survivor about why we still wear a disguise on Halloween night.

In any case, until we know more, survivors are being asked to recall primary demon survival protocol.

Primary Demon Survival Protocol

1. Name that demon. The first step to banishing any demon is of course to name the demon.  Once you know the demon’s name, you know its modus operandi, it’s strengths and weaknesses (numbers, incantations, elements etc.) along with the angel(s) assigned to fight it. So, first things first, anyone know this demon?

2. Avoid any un-ncessary PDAs. Even – or especially – PDAs in dark fields. No matter how much s/he melts your heart, ask yourself is it really worth a melted face?

3. Start planning for next Halloween today. Don’t let that sack of sugery survival snacks lull you into a false sense of security. Next year, this could be you.

Many thanks to The Hatter for another true survival report.