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Cannibal Moms Really Want To Eat Babies – Science

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Is your mom really a baby-hungry cannibal?

Before you answer NO just because she hasn’t eaten you yet, consider this, scientists studying women’s brains just proved that women, especially moms have addictive baby-hungry brains that really want to eat babies!

Could your mom be a recovering baby-addicted cannibal? Know the signs!

Could you mom be a cannibal?
Could your mom be a cannibal? Know the signs!

It’s true. Scientists at the University of Montreal scanning moms brains discovered the smell of baby pyjamas triggers an addictive appetite response like to when hungry people smell a really delicious meal.

“These circuits may especially be activated when you eat while being very hungry, but also in a craving addict receiving his drug,” stated Johannes Frasnelli, a postdoctoral researcher and lecturer at the University of Montreal’s Department of Psychology.

Could your own mother be one of these infant-addicted cannibal moms? Find out before it’s too late!

5 Signs Your Mom Is a Baby-Hungry Cannibal 

1. Ever caught your mom sniffing your dirty clothes? 

In the Montreal study the moms sniffed infant pyjamas but in reality, it could be any article of clothing belonging to you or your little brother or sister. If the answer is yes, you have caught her sniffing your clothes after you wear them, this is a sign your mom may be trying to get her cannibal high without actually eating you. A good news – bad news story here. While your mom is likely a cannibal, on the bright side, the cannibal mom scientists say it’s likely she won’t actually eat you because just sniffing might be enough.

2.  Does your mom get angry when you spill ketchup on yourself?

Why? Ask yourself, what’s the big deal? It’s just a little tomato-based sauce, can’t you just wash it?

Of course the shirt can be washed but what your flesh-hungry mother can’t wash away is her feelings of guilt after chowing down on you, her precious progeny, due to the irresistible combination of sweet tomatoey yumminess on top of your addictive child-smell.

3. Does your mom have a lot of suspicious pots and pans? 

Are they big enough to BOIL A BABY??? Does she perhaps have creepy photos of you playing in them when you were younger?

It’s a grisly fact that baby-hungry cannibal moms like to let their babies play with the very instruments she would use to cook you for dinner.

4. Is your mom always trying to fatten you up? 

This one needs no explanation. Cannibals like the rest of us, prefer tender meat. Obviously there is the reason that your mom is always foisting food on you.

Is Ann Geddes a mommy cannibal?
Is Ann Geddes a mommy cannibal?

5. Does your mom REALLY like this photo? 

Does it perhaps make her salivate? You need to know.

Photos like this that combine food, usually fresh fruit and vegetables with babies are designed to to excite already baby-hungry cannibal moms.

This photograph by Ann Geddes is a classic example. Does your mom have any photos like this around your house? If so check the back. Is there a recipe?

If the answer is no, sorry but you’re not out of the woods yet. You need to show her this one and gauge her reaction. Do her pupils dilate? Does she salivate?

Which leads us to the last one…

6. Did your mom have a lot of food-based knicknames for you? 

Muffin ears? Peanut? Apple head? Any of these sound familiar? This is not a coincidence. Food-based knicknames are a dead giveaway that your mom too is a baby-hungry cannibal.

So why not scan her with The Monstrometer while you’re about it. Granted, it’s not calibrated to specifically detect cannibal moms but it it is 99.98% effective at outing any average cannibal under optimum conditions.

This Week in Survival September 28, 2013

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SOS watch out for time loop chickens we appear to have survived another week…

Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!
Another Supernatural Week Of Survival

Or did we? Time to find out. Check back here to find out for sure as I comb through the pages of the week that was and post some links. I hope you’ll follow them and add your supernatural voice to the situations and debates in progress.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to survival this week and on the Harvest Moon. As you know, we’ve been working on something a little big and appreciate your help around here more than ever.

Is That Why The Food Tastes So Good? 

–>> Salient SOS message from CYBORG BEAST COP... fast food powered super soldiers? Sounds delicious! Sueprsize me some of that!  Oh wait…

So What Happens When You Open The Chamber?

–>>Why didn’t I ask Bella Wolf that instead of how? What is it about chambers opening makes you just have to know? Did I forget what she did to her pet budgie?  Does this have something to do with her long forgotten Night Mares riddle to KNOX?

Have You Ever Met Batman? 

–>> Good question here, overlooked. Like THE Batman? Or just any batman? If so, how, when why? Let KNOX know… (I’m making my bat signal now. Or will it just alert Agharna Phellan again? Or even Zyboragon, sometimes known to respond to the signal?)

Guarding the Guardians

–>> Do the guardians get along? KZAZ and GUARDIAN R.S what do you know? Can they work together? Why is Chaos Alpha one no longer? Do we need a page on the site for them?

Poseidon Paterfamilas Fracas

–>> Know a child of Poseidon? Me too. Who’s going to break it to the dream wolf Scarlett Lupa? 

I guess it is my job okay here goes… but she’s just going to call me CHILD, I know it!

Is The Darkness Rising? 

–> Ravenclaw has seen the dark. Have you read her SOS warning? It’s not too late… yet.

–>  Chaos Alpha seems to agree. Check it out here and help solve the prophesy.  Wait… where did he get this prophesy?

Kzazrier Vetenari: Survivor of the Month

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Thanks for helping me keep on keeping on!
Thanks for helping me keep on keeping on!
KZAZRIER VETENARI

Kzazrier

Iziz Fact About this Survivor Of The Month

1. Kzazrier a member of an ancient race known as the Contali.  A very ancient race prone to fits of world-making and world-destruction which you can read about here.  Although Kzaz claims to be the weakest member of this race – except when it comes to ping pong, which is a kind of marshal art to his people. In fact if you have a problem with Kzaz? Maybe just challenge him to a ping-poing duel!

(What kind of a species ranks its members this way and how did he get the lowest rank?)

2. Kzaz doesn’t like demons. Or does he like them a little too much? He certainly has spent a lot of time with a certain demon by the name of Trenzalador.  That can’t have been good. He appears to have escaped the shadowy clutches of Trenzaldor, with assistance in part from several other survivors on the site including Mr. Mutt, Mary and even unexpectedly The Reaper who worked together to solve The Cycle which you can read about here.

3. In short, Kzazrier is somewhat prone to developing a lot of curses – so maybe he’ll be able to deal with one more! In fact I’m hoping he can defeat the SOTM curse once and for all. Although if he fails to defeat the curse? We will never know because a Contali death is more than a physical end. Yes, a Contali death erases all memory of the individual in time.

4. Has a sword named Mira that contains an actual soul inside it! Presumably the soul of Mira, about whom I for one would definitely like to know more, as he indicates she is growing stronger. When he first came on the site, Mira was lost, and Kzaz was pretty broken up about it until a lone werewolf name VOSUL helped him locate it.

5. Kzaz says he’s with an organization called The Defenders, Guardians Branch, his current assignment appears to be to help protect Earth. Although it should maybe be noted Earth has registered 12% more imperilled since he showed up… hmmm…

6. Once risked the rage of Mr. Mutt by calling him a common cold bacteria. And then very wisely has apologized here, lest the Mutt wake up mad from his nap to school him again.

7. Has a few very interesting things to say about immortality, linked here.

8. Has a few powerful friends and enemies and frenemies here on the site, although sometimes you can’t tell the difference. For instance, take The Reaper. Are they working together? Or is Kzaz still trying to defeat him? The jury is still out.

9. As a young being (<2163 years old) his dad told him to study something so he chose werewolves and zombies on the planet Mirth.

10. Recently teleported me a gift. Now I’m not going to admit that influenced my decision because ahem, clearly, I can’t be bought. Except maybe by a lucrative endorsement contract fir Spray Nine. But certainly not by a magic rune.  Especially when I have no idea what it does yet. Nor even how to find it as apparently it’s INVISIBLE!

11. Says ‘eleven’ as ‘IZIZ’ and that’s the IZZIZIAN fact.

So if you see Kzazrier around be sure and say HI and ask him how the Survivor of the Month curse is treating him, but maybe don’t offer him a drink. It seems like Contali might have a bit of a drinking problem…

Harvest Moon Survivor of the Month, 2013

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Well if you haven’t been harvested by a wayward reaper this moon, congrats! You may have survived to help celebrate another Survivor of the Month.

Who will it be?
Guess who?

As you know, Survivor of the Month is a dread curse that falls on one unlucky survivor every full moon. Well it didn’t start out as a curse exactly, actually it was intended to be the opposite, as a small thank-you to somebody who helps around the site a lot over the last month.

But then, somehow, I don’t know who is responsible so I’ll just blame ALEX – cursed it. Spelled it, whatever you want to call it. Now with a few notable exceptions, the Survivor of the Month disappears under mysterious circumstances shortly after winning. I say there are a few notable exceptions – Hall of Famers being among these happy exceptions – and the jury is still out on a few of them, it looks like Mary is fighting it off now and mostly winning but – FAIR WARNING! It’s a big, cursed thank you to everyone who contributed to Survival this month. Without you there would be no Survival.

So without further ado, please belatedly guess the unlucky-lucky winner this moon, if you haven’t already.

Iziz Clues for the Harvest Moon SOTM

It’s a survivor who:

1. Is a member of an ancient race known as the Contali.  A very ancient race prone to fits of world-making and world-destruction which you can read about here.  Although he claims to be the weakest member of this race – except when it comes to ping pong.

(What kind of a species ranks its members this way and how did he get the lowest rank?)

2. Doesn’t like demons. Or does he like them a little too much? He certainly has spent a lot of time with a certain demon by the name of Trenzalador.  That can’t have been good.

3. Gets a lot of curses – so maybe he’ll be able to deal with one more! In fact I’m hoping he can defeat the SOTM curse once and for all.

4. Has a sword named Mira that contains a soul inside it! Presumably the soul of Mira, about whom I for one would definitely like to know more, as he indicates she is growing stronger.

5. But he says he’s with an organization called The Defenders, Guardians Branch, his current assignment appears to be to help protect Earth.

6. Once risked the rage of Mr. Mutt by calling him a common cold bacteria. And then very wisely has apologized here, lest the Mutt wake up mad from his nap.

7. Has a few very interesting things to say about immortality, linked here.

8. Has a few powerful friends and enemies and frenemies here on the site, sometimes you can’t tell the difference but one thing is clear, he would like to defeat The Reaper.

9. As a young being (<2163 years old) his dad told him to study something so he chose werewolves and zombies on the planet Mirth.

10. Recently teleported me a gift. Now I’m not going to admit that influenced my decision because ahem, clearly, I can’t be bought. Except maybe by a lucrative endorsement contract fir Spray Nine. But certainly not by a magic rune.  Especially when I have no idea what it does yet. Nor even how to find it as apparently it’s INVISIBLE!

11. Says ‘eleven’ as ‘IZIZ’ and that’s the IZZIZIAN clue! I think most of us already know who it is… it is….

KZAZRIER VETENARI

Kzazrier

Look for Kzazrier in the Survivor of the Month sidebar tomorrow and if you see him around, be sure and wish him luck defeating the SOTM curse like The Reaper does here. (Hm, does The Reaper REALLY hope that Kzaz defeats the curse?)

Thanks everyone for your patience and for keeping on keeping on.

Seth

Dangerous Dragons Blood Trend

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Would you spray a dragon’s blood on your face?

Will this spray give you the complexion and immortality of a dragon?
Will this spray give you the complexion and immortality of a dragon?

Not since the dread vampire facelift has a more dangerous supernatural beauty trend reared its scaly head. Beings around the world hoping to acquire the immortality of a dragon, if not the scaly complexion of one, are shelling out big bucks for potions and lotions like this one, which claim to be made with real dragon’s blood.

So popular is this disturbing trend that you may notice bottles like this one at your local pharmacy very soon.

“For thousands of years now, people have sought to extend life, to find the elixir of youth and to wash themselves in the pool of eternal life,” says the website of the company who makes this grisly product. “Living forever, for some, is a dream that they wish would come true…our dragon’s blood anti-wrinkle creams are the simplest way to beat old age.”

SIMPLE, you say, oh crazy cosmetics company? Oh yeah, how simple is this: you just locate a dragon’s secret mountain-top lair, get close enough to bleed him or her as quietly as possible, tapping their blood while avoiding being flamed or acidified or just plain clawed to death to safely transport your bloody haul to the headquarters of aforementioned crazy cosmetics company.

And before you pick up that tester and give it a spray, consider this. While dragons do in fact live hundreds if not a thousand years or more, have you looked at their hides close-up? After a few centuries, let’s just say things get scaly. Do you really want dragon scales on your face for hundreds of years? Sure, you’ll be mostly bullet-proof and flame resistant but will that compensate for the staring children?

Maybe, but another little known fact, these scales are one of the main reasons most older dragons stop transitioning back and forth from human to dragon. When their scales stop growing back as quickly as they once did, most older dragons will look like a giant plucked chicken for weeks after a protracted stint in human form. No draconian wants to look like a plucked chicken, ever. Plus if you have managed to achieve gold or platinum scales, would you want to see them fall out? Would you leave them unguarded in your cave while you go about your human life in the village below?

Now before you point it out, I will agree this could be a case of false advertising. Certainly the product does not appear to contain the blood of any dragon I have ever met. Although it’s hard to judge as the dragons around here tend to be pretty good at keeping their blood inside their bodies.

But until we can get a hold of a sample and send it to a lab we won’t know for sure. So if you see this suspicious supernatural product on a shelf near you, please try to get a sample in a safe container and let’s find out. Just watch behind you for angry dragons…

Howling Harvest Moon, 2013

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Have you heard the howls? That’s cause the HARVEST MOON is here, in the Northern Hemisphere anyway, bringing all the singingest werewolves out. Will you put a moon cake under your pillow tonight? I’ve got mine ready. Cuz there’s a lot of strange dreams going around, you might want to join the fun. Whether it’ll be the Nyte Mares or a Dreamcation, it’s too soon to tell, but hey you can’t win if you don’t play.

Full Moon Rising
Full Moon Rising

For instance….

–> Need an item delivered this full moon but not sure who to trust? Leave a message for URBAN SQUATCH he seems like a reliable if hairy and fragrant delivery dude. No werewolf will attack a sasquatch – not even an urban one. And he may have managed to deliver THE REAPER his free will. But is he brave enough to deliver that ambrosia mixture to…

–> …the SCARLETT LUPA What’s she up to now? Is this something about the Night Mares again? Thanks to dark dragon JERRY for looking into the situation. It looks like something epic brewing here. What exactly is a mashin raylight anyway? If I ask will she just call me CHILD again? Will somebody else ask?

–> Ever wondered about how different packs celebrate on the full moon? WEREWOLF13 talks a bit about that here.

–> Or maybe you, like JERRY the dark dragon have been wondering about the chaos werewolves AKA the Chaotica who sometimes stop by SOS then read up about it from CHAOS ALPHA...

–> How does VELANKO stay calm on the full moon when he’s not fighting off other reapers and dragons? You’ll have to read to find out.

In the morning we’ll see who survived this moon and how and why. AND then make our last full moon Survivor announcement before Halloween when we have a big-little surprise to reveal. Look for the SURVIVOR OF THE MONTH curse, I mean, clues coming soon.

Hope you’ll keep on keeping on for that and more.

Survivally Yours,

Seth

P.S. for more information check out this article over on yourlupinelife.com, “What Makes the Harvest Moon Sing?“.