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Archives for May 2013

Dragon Moon Survivor of the Month

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Can you feel the Dragon Moon rising? I know I can. Everyone’s favorite metal dragon Zyboragon stopped by the site and I see messages from friends of Louis in my inbox. Do they really know what happened to him? Guess I’ll find out soon enough.

Who will it be?
Who will it be?

But right now it’s time to see who the Survivor of the Month will be. Graham and I will be counting up all the comments, suggestions, questions, descriptions, musings, reports, reminders, updates and other miscellaneous missives of a survival nature over the last month, in order to make the prize draw tomorrow.

(It’s been a pretty busy month so this is going to take a while! )

Until then remember, survival above all and for all!

It could be ANYONE really. This little prize is half luck and half about the numbers. That said, let’s see… will it be….

* One of the demigods on a mission this month to find Camp Halfblood, avoid Hades and solve the riddle of the rock song prophesies? Maybe Jack who is marshalling a team that includes Curious and Lonewolf and Connor – who may have disappeared in an passage to the underworld –  and of course, Shadow Rider … did he make it to that portal? along with…

* Wolf Ranger  a relative newcomer demigod werewolf whose job is to watch over Lady Diana and her hunters.He makes a very good case for the history and continued existence of MERwolves….

* Werewolf13 who tried to forget her lycan side this month but still found herself chasing storms and starting a pack, not to mention helping out around the site on numerous occasions especially with Lonewolf…

* The mysterious but mostly helpful m-shifter wolf Curious who has a lot of good advice about supernatural survival including how to defeat a leviathan… some confusing advice too but who am I to criticize THAT?

* Mary5544 a genetic city werewolf who dreams of being a merwolf someday began to fear she was cursed when survivors like Midnight Wrath started disappearing around her… What’s going on? Is this going to be her moon?

* Lonewolf, a bitten werewolf who unfortunately attends a school for vampires and caught the evil eye of an alpha vamp. Will Lonewolf survive this moon?

* Rusty-Rustpelt-Scarheart who survived the northern zombies with the help of survivors on the site, now stuck in wolf form on a dangerous trip through… wait. Is he seriously partying with aliens?  Or is he being held hostage…?

* Devorah who has been working tirelessly to help make survival plans with Vianna, Rusty and others, despite the fact she still only shifts fully in the dream dimension after a failed rage experiment. Has she discovered her secret draconian side?

* Vianna or Vitra Pendragon for long, a draconian in hiding with info for Blue Dragon spring and look what she found hunting and guess how you’ll know she is coming?

*The infamous, notorious angelic Zyboragon, who stopped by with many important baby dragon survival information and survivor updates…

Watch here for more random updates and links as we comb through the SOS archives for the Dragon Moon.

Baby Dragon Alert – Dragon Moon Brings Baby Dragons

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With the Dragon Moon on the wing, Survivors please be advised, a BABY DRAGON ALERT has been issued for the next 72 hours.

That’s right, I received the following terrifying proof in my inbox. Until I can track down the photographer to ascertain the validity of this, survivors are well advised to recall and practice their best baby dragon safety measures.

Sure they’re cute, but we all know how deadly they can be. Protect yourself and your family. Check back here for all the best tips and tools for the Dragon Moon.

Don't be fooled. Baby dragons are cute but deadly!
Don’t be fooled. Baby dragons are cute but deadly!

BABY DRAGON SAFETY TIPS:

1. The most important thing to remember when dealing with a baby dragon on the Dragon Moon is above all, don’t try to bring it inside!

There are three very good reasons for this, the first and second being that lurking somewhere is a draconian mom and a draconian dad. But equally important is the third reason which you see in this photo – that smoke curling up from the baby dragon’s mouth. Where there is smoke there is fire! Don’t risk burning down your home. Baby dragons can’t control all of their fiery faculties yet, they don’t necessarily want to burn down your house but they will. Leave the baby dragon outside!

2.  Don’t buy into the dangerous myth that you can tame or control a dragon! Never handle or try to catch a baby dragon with a pearl in your hand or a dragon net or any other dangerous technique. Even if it lands on your shoulder. Let me repeat, there are two very good reasons for this and they rhyme with the words BOMB and BAD.

I know what you’re thinking. But I’m a dragon kin or a dragon kind or a draconian friend or a dragon wolf or whatever and I’m not saying that’s not true. But if it is true, then the dragon will find and catch you later, likely when it is full grown. At which time you might not even recognize him or her as they are just as likely to be in human form as dragon form. Take it from me, dragons are nobody’s pet.

3.  If you intend to follow a baby dragon back to its lair, you do so at your peril. Just because you encounter one in your neck of the woods, does not mean it’s your next door neighbour. Dragons, even baby dragons, have an incredible range. They can fly between continents with ease and survive in climates lesser beings can’t. If you encounter a baby dragon on the Dragon Moon chances are good he or she got disoriented taking the new wings for a test drive. You might think that following it home is an excellent way to discover a dragon cave full of treasure but it’s really a better way to end up lost in an unforgiving habitat like the bush country of Botswana or the Death Roads of Bolivia.

For more info the different kinds of baby dragons and how to know what kind you’re facing, please see updates by Zyboragon around here on the Draconians page…. 

This Week In Survival May 18, 2013

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Survival’s heating up this week, with spring thaw zombies in the north, alien ooze in Asia, mummies everywhere and the Dragon Moon on its way in just a matter of days.

Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!
Another Supernatural Week Of Survival

If you’re still around, congratulations on making it through another week. It looks like a week of werewolves, demigods and demons at SOS. I’ll try to explain it all with links and questions here as I catch up.

ALIENS:

*Is SOS’s crustiest plantalien Desai claiming responsibility for that alien ooze?  Where will he show up next? Better watch out for cracks in the road.

WEREWOLVES:

* Scarheart again barely surviving after his trip north. We warned him about sleeping on the frozen ground. Now he’s trying to beat the melty zombie plague by maintaining WW form. Can somebody please help him before he crashes the site with all his growling?  Thanks to the survivors trying to save him including Mary5544 & Curious & Devorah.

*mary5544 trying to shift so she can help her friend Rustpelt… wants Lonewolf to make her angry… what’s the situation?

*Looks like Curious may have succeeded in making mary5544 angry with his comments about her age… but did it work to make her shift?

*WW question from Wolf Mountain. How can you tell if this will be your first moon? What are the signs? Thanks to WW13 and others who offered an answer…

*Mist Sorcerer wonders if he might be a wizwolf…can he conjure up some Android code for me?

DEMIGODS:

*Goddess of Fate graces the site with a message. Could this be good news for our intrepid group of demigods looking for the real Camp Halfblood? Will she help them find the real Camp Halfblood, avoid Hades and solve the mystery of the prophetic rock star?

* Read Goddess of Fate’s advice to Jack here…  Will they find the gas station before it disappears? Anyone see a silver gas station? What if they don’t have any drachmas? Where do you get drachmas these days anyway?

*Demigod Connor thinks survivor Jack may be a descendant of either Atlas, Poseidon or Oceanus but the Goddess of Fate suggests Gaiea. What do you think? What do I think? I’m still thinking. If Gaiea punishes the Goddess maybe she was right…

*Good question from Lonewolf. How do you open a gate to Hades? Can anyone open a Plutonian portal? Summon a Helevator? What are the rules More importantly why does Lonewolf want to know? Does it have anything to do with demons in his neighbourhood?

DEMONS:

*Is there really a passage to the Underworld in NYC near the beach? Wait that’s actually last week, but I’m still wondering about it…

 

Beware New Blob Monster on the Block aka How to Survive an Alien Ooze

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Ooze news from China this week, an alien ooze has made its first slimy slink on the surface of the Earth, breaking through the asphalt right in the middle of the road.

Alien Ooze appears in China on Monday
Alien ooze appears in China on Monday

Sources say this freaky ovular foam osmoted up from a crack in the middle of the road Monday night in the city of Nanjing, China.

Within a short time, the foamy foe had spread to 50 meters and stood a foot high, easily swallowing at least one biker before oozing its osmotic retreat when police arrived.

Not since the deadly desert purple globule crisis of 2012, has an alien ooze made such news.

Nobody knows from whence this ooze hath come nor to wherece it might be going. So how will you survive should it ooze up from a street near youz?

SOS contacted esteemed Chinese oozologist Dr. P. Ooz for his super-ooze survival observations and suggestions in the case of the China ooze.

“My suggestions should be thought of more as hard and fast guidelines, not rules, at least until more is known about the alien being in question, ” writes Dr. P.Ooz in the preface to his opinion.

Dr. P. Oooz’s Super-Ooze Survival

1. Judging by its pale complexion and the fact this alien would choose to ooze at night, we can infer the being is photo-phobic. Carry a reliable, portable light source with you at all time. Indeed your camera flash may be sufficient as this is the only known image of the ooze on record, we can conclude the flashing lights from the cameras and the police cars scared it away.

2. The ovular formation of the ooze leads me to believe this alien may in fact be female, an oocytic ooze, probably searching for a suitable egg repository. Observe in the photo, to whom has she chosen to reveal herself? Gentlemen, ask yourself, am I presenting as an overly attractive alien oocyte repository? Cover up! No open toe sandals like the guy in this photo. Put on a hat – or at least a good pair of headphones. Something that covers your inner ears. And don’t even think about relieving yourself outside unless you want to father an entirely new alien race here on earth.

3. Watch out for cracks in the road. Try not to step on them, roll over them or otherwise alert the being below to your presence. If you have to cross a crack, do it quickly and without making any noise or applying any weight to asphalt surface. In short, hover if you can. If you can’t – jump and hope for the best.

4. Stay on the bike! Judging by the empty e-bike in the photo, our oozy friend went for the rider, not the hardware. How long can you balance on your pedals without putting your foot down? I suggest that you practice.

5. Whatever you do, don’t touch it, feed it, attempt to brush your teeth with it or bathe your newborn baby in it. Sure it might seem like a good idea at the time, economical and entertaining but consider the case of the lady who collected the purple desert globs for her baby’s bath, only to discover too late she had a giant purple people eating baby on her hands…

Don't bathe in this...
Lady learns the hard way – don’t bathe your baby in oozes.

This Week In Survival: May 05 – 11, 2013

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Did you survive Survival Preparedness Week so far? That’s right it’s Red Cross Survival Preparedness Week.

Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!
Another Supernatural Week Of Survival!

If so, don’t let your guard down yet.  You never know when those crafty survival instructors will come at you and try to revoke your Survivologist certification, trust me. Don’t let a personal survival simulation catch you without a stack of canned goods, candles and a hand-crank radio! And remember to call a bystander – tell us about it here at SOS.

Meanwhile also in North America, I hear Mummy Day preparations are well underway. More on that later. Meanwhile let’s see who survived and who didn’t this week so we can add up the damage, er, I mean the lives saved! Check back here as I try to make sense of it all with some summaries and somewhat sloppy links!

Thanks to everyone for keeping on this week.

 

* A MistSorcerer has stopped by with a quiz for werewolves!Is he a lycanthropologist? What will he do with your info? Answer his questions at your peril. Is he really going to cast a spell on me because I can’t program Android???

*Anyone visited by a white wolf in their dreams this week? Could be CURIOUS who has been burning up the pages… 

*What is Agharna Phellan’s new depressing tail anyway? Does anybody know? I tried to tell him mine but it didn’t loosen him up. Is this about his old WW village pals again?  His demonic band, The Killosaurus Tonberries?

*When Alex says “2 Days,” I get worried. What is up his sleeve? Does he even have a sleeve? He’s making Lonewolf edgy and that can’t be good. Thanks to Lonewolf for trying to get the story.  Does this have anything to do with that alpha vamp he encountered?

*Mermonster OCEAN says she can control minds.…I had not idea this was a mermish characteristic. Should I believe her? Why do I suddenly have an urge to mail her this fish…?

*Meanwhile MARY5544 still wants to become a mermaid without undergoing a tail transplant. Anyone have tips for her? (Reliable ones please. I don’t need another angry three-headed mermonster on the site!) Will her creek work? Or will it turn her into a mudmaid instead? Meanwhile I am searching the archives for advice from the legendary Pauzzis97, long overdue inductee to the Hall of Fame…

*New survivor Accaliamoonlover13 98% werewolf reporting a glitch with The Monstrometer? Impossible!

Spring Thaw Zombie Survival

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SPRING THAW ZOMBIE SURVIVAL TIPS!

If you’re a survivor living north of the 46th parallel or planning a trip thereabouts you should know that it’s an especially dangerous time of the year.  

Spring.

Snow Zombie spotted by Austri Mina
Thawing zombie spotted by Austri Mina

While the sun may be shining longer (creating less of a deadly window for vampires and other nocturnal monsters) and the trees may be flowering (some with incredibly useful occult herbs and reagents!) all this nice, warm weather is bringing out more than just dirty hippies playing hacky-sack.

The northern zombie hordes, colloquially known sometimes as “melties” are thawing out.

That’s right, survivors. If you’ve fled north to get away from an encroaching itinerant zombie horde, you’re in for a spring surprise if you live anywhere south of Iqaluit. All those masses of decaying, shambling corpses you so craftily avoided during the winter because they froze solid are now defrosting and are yet again becoming an active threat.

But! Fear not, Northern Survivors! With these simple Zombie Survival Tips you’ll make it through this sunshiney, terrible time of year.

TIP #1: Watch Your Step!

Zombies, just like humans, will lose their balance and fall over when frozen solid. Odds are the zombie won’t be standing up! This means that several embarrassed zombies are probably face down in the mud, hidden by tall grass. They may or may not be able to correct this situation and could remain mired in the muck until August if you don’t disrupt them. So, remember, always watch your step, and if you hear the sound of ice crunching, make sure that there isn’t any zombieflesh under it!

TIP #2: Use Your Nose!

Zombies smell. This is a well-known fact. So keep your nose prepared! If you get the whiff of decay on the air, take that as a signal that there may be heretofore undiscovered ghouls nearby. On a similar note for the later summer months, if you’re in an urban center, make sure to train yourself to know the difference between regular stinking summer-in-the-city garbage smell and the awful, gut-turning smell of the undead. They’re pretty similar.

TIP #3: Pace Yourself!

Zombies are usually slow, but after several months of being frozen, those grossified kneecaps are even more shamble-y! You probably don’t have to run to get away – take your time to remember tip #1 and watch your step while evading recently unthawed zombies!

Of course, these tips only apply to avoiding frozen zombies that have been reanimated via magical or demonic means. If you’ve got a zombie horde that’s been re-animated by some kind of horrifying super-scientific black-ops chemical reagent or trioxin, you probably have nothing to worry about. As the undead flesh constantly freezes during the night and partially thaws during sunny winter days, the water in the zombie’s cells slowly evaporates, making them unable to function even in their undead state.

Essentially, freeze burn sets in and the zombie’s body is slowly destroyed! Good for you! You’ve avoided the undead menace! With science!

Of course, I’ve received unsubstantiated reports that certain extra-governmental agencies such as Area 51 have stepped up their game when it comes to Cold Weather Weaponized Zombie research. It’s possible that if the zombie was artificially able to create “glycoprotein,” a natural anti-freeze, they may be able to remain functional in sub-zero temperatures!

The lesson here survivors, is remain ever vigilant, as always! Don’t make the mistake of Scarheart, who thought he’d find frozen freedom in the Great White North and was never heard from again –