A mysterious ban on triangular foods at an English high school has outraged the school’s population of both witches and leprechauns.
Castle View School says they have outlawed foods prepared in a triangle shape for health and safety reasons after a recent food fight injury to a boy’s eye, but the Young Witches Association claims this is just a deliberate attempt to persecute both witches and leprechauns.
“How can you ban a triangle? It’s just cruel! They know how important that shape is to both us witches and leprechauns, because of the number three,” writes Hester Albina Campesina in an email.
Hester adds that leprechauns in particular are affected this month, as many of them are required to follow a strict all-triangle food diet for the month of March.
“How many leprechauns will starve to death this week alone?”
Castle View School says that triangle-shaped foods will be replaced by square foods from now on. Which Hester insists is unacceptable.
“For many of us, including leprechauns, the Trinity is sacred. Why do you think we grant three wishes? Why do you think leprechauns fear four leaf clovers? Leprechaun technology depends on triangular prismatic chips. And I picked this school exactly because of its triangle tolerance policy. Well that and the flapjacks are really delicious.”
High School catering staffers say that leprechauns and witches are free to take a sharp knife or otherwise pointy object and use it to make two triangles out of the newer, safer square foods if they so desire.
“But the ban on triangular flapjacks remains.”
Hester the witch has so far been unavailable to respond to his comment.
On the bright side, the triangle tangle has brought together two groups normally at odds with each other and that’s something to celebrate, especially this month when witches spend so much time teasing leprechauns with fake straw-to-gold spells.
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