If you listen very hard tonight, as the world sings goodbye to the Year of the Dragon, you might hear something else too – the sound of old dragons slinking slowly back to their treasure caves for a long, draconian nap, in places like Burma or Myanmar.
2012 The Year of the Dragon heralded the arrival of a record number of new dragons – but it also roused the looting and burning instincts of some of the worlds’ oldest dragons, like the Myanmese Draconians.
“Looting a country is very hard work. You humans don’t seem to understand this,” said Myanmar draconian Thein Sein. “For instance do you know how hard it is to hide billions of dollars in looted treasure? It takes a very big cave.”
The Myanmar dragon described an old plan to use his treasure to buy an entire football team instead.
“But then how to you hide all of Manchester United? Even in a country with no cell phones and Internet like Mayanmar, this is not easy.”
The draconian also noted that he did not want to share his cave with a bunch of rowdy footballers.
As a result, old dragons like Thein Sein have begun their slow slink away from the land while the people party in their wake.
“This is very exciting and also our first experience in celebrating the New Year. We feel like we are in a different world,” said Yu Thawda from Myanmar/Burma.
However, Draconian experts are warning the youth to temper their excitement.
“Old dragons don’t go fast,” writes dragon watcher Professor Dominicus Van Buren. “Treasure won’t fall from the sky.”
“Only once they are well and truly asleep inside their treasure caves do we have a chance.”