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Archives for May 2011

Post-Rapture Rapture May Be Biggest Threat

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May 22 – Post-Rapture Rapture has set in around the world. First, congratulations are in order to survivors everywhere. Not for surviving – was there every any question? – but for NOT taunting or encouraging a sick and aging being, Mr. Harold Camping. It took a lot of restraint to stop yourself from reporting floating people or even floating around yourself outside his window, making na-na-na-na-na faces at 6 pm when it became clear that Mr. Camping himself remained earthbound.

(For those of you who didn’t find this restraint? Shame on you and I would have done exactly the same thing if all the trampoline rentals hadn’t been already booked for parties.)

It doesn’t change the fact that many of us are clearly pretty mad at Mr. Camping today – who true to his name has apparently gone camping. How many survivors partied like it was 1999 under the mistaken hope of a heavenly hangover cure? Lured by signs like this one (below) to Rapture party spots around the globe? How many survivors are even now stumbling back into their ordinary lives with blinding headaches and less than perfect co-ordination, with some relief and even more regret?

Er, not me. Really. But many faceless, hypothetical others. Which brings me to the biggest threat posted by Mr. Camping’s global publicity stunt. Letting your guard down. In your relief -or disappointment- at not floating away today, it would be a mistake to assume that all is well. After all, anything that has an ending, usually has one or two or five false endings – depending on the budget! And by all accounts Mr. Harold “Doomy” Camping has a lot of budget after bilking a few people out of a lot of money. Now we all know the point of a false ending is to lull you into a false sense of security so the one you didn’t expect can REALLY make you jump.

But as any Chicken Little or self-proclaimed human cloning expert with alien connections can tell you, there is a limit to the number of times the world can almost end before people start to realize the truth.

(Which reminds me. Note to self: book trampoline now for October 20.)

What does this mean for Mr. Camping and his campaign of holy terror? What is the next act? Could he really be a vampire, on a clever Halloween recruiting campaign until October 20? Tune in October 20 for the exciting conclusion.

Or don’t. Whatever. Remember if you miss it, no worries. The sequel is virtually guaranteed.

CDC issues Apocalypse Survival Advice

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Hail Survivors,

Thanks to global efforts official government agencies are finally starting to take notice of the threat posed by our favourite undead unfriends, zombies. And for the first time ever, they are finally acknowledging the role of Z-prions.

Now while they do have some good advice, like the recommended survival kit that everyone should have (see list below):

  • Water (1 gallon per person per day)
  • Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
  • Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
  • Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
  • Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
  • Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
  • Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
  • First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)
CDC – Zombie Emergency Kit

They do fail to take things quite seriously enough. For instance, what is with that portable stereo. Or is that a toaster? Is this a survival kit or a time capsule? Does it come with an Aerosmith cassette tape? Can it transport you backstage to 1984? If so, will it also tell you how to survive zombie Stephen Tyler?

So many questions, so few answers…

For the full CDC article click or tap here: http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp

To learn more about Zombie preparedness make sure you watch my Zombie Month videos:

Zombiology 101.3 – Ep 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uixcOBVjUXg

Zombie Autopsy – Ep 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rczSAvHjLA4

Zombie Quarantine – Ep 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2KHg2CdTXo

The Great Zombie Debate – Ep 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCUpVJaXQ3A

Zombie Battle – Ep 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViqfyG_acGw

Keep on keeping on being prepared for everything.

Seth

Want to have a custom avatar on the Seth On Survival website?

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Here is how you do it but before you start this process though you have to be able to get messages that come to your email because that is an important step in the process.

Click on the link below and enter your email (the one that you use to comment at the site) then click the signup button underneath.

http://en.gravatar.com/site/signup/

Then you have to go check your email and find the email from Gravatar and click on the link inside the email to confirm that you own that email address. That will take you back to the Gravatar site where you have to enter a password and a profile and stuff like that.

Then you follow the instructions to add a picture to your profile and then you have a new avatar! After that changing is easy you just have to go to the Gravatar page and log in and then you can change your avatar image. You don’t have to go through the whole sign up phase again.

It sounds like a lot of steps but it actually only takes like 10 minutes.

Once you have your custom avatar set up then comment anywhere on the Seth On Survival web site using your shiny new avatar! http://sethonsurvival.com/

Please contact me if you need any assistance. Keep on keeping on.

Seth

Invading Giant Aliens Save Ecosystem!

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Usually news of alien invasions (particularly giant aliens) is accompanied by reports of massive death and destruction perhaps some enslavement. In general not good news for the current inhabitants of Earth. This alien invasion however has a happy ending… well at least so far.

These aliens, Giant Space Tortoises from Aldebaran (an orange giant star 65 light years away in the constellation Taurus), have landed on the uninhabited island of Ile aux Aigrettes, off the coast of of Mauritius (in the Indian Ocean near Madagascar) and appear to have settled there starting in 2000. The island is not inhabited by humans and so this alien colony was not reported until now.

Many thought that an effort should be made to repel the invasion of the giant aliens but researchers discovered that in spite of their giant size (661 pounds or 300 kilograms) not only were these aliens non threatening but that they actually were helping to preserve the natural ecosystem of the island! The aliens eat the fruit of the ebony trees and then… um… disperse… the seeds at various locations around the island thus helping to keep this tree from extinction. Furthermore Dr. Christine Griffiths, a research associate at the University of Bristol and the lead author of a study on the giant aliens, reports that the seeds that have passed through the aliens digestive system are more likely to sprout into new trees than seeds that have not.

Do these aliens intend to colonize other areas of Earth? Well they have been on Earth for over a decade already and have made no efforts to expand their territory so far so early indications are good but no one has managed to decode their language so far so we can’t ask them.

Is this a prelude to invasion?

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Hail Survivors,

Check this out. I was recently sent a link to this video clip by Kindacreepedoutchick. What do you think? Are these sightings real or are some or all of them a clever fake?

Is A51 behind it all? Are extra-dimensional creatures controlling A51? Is everyone on the Earth (human and monster alike) in grave danger from these EDCs? Is this a ploy by government agents to spread fear and mistrust? Hollywood propaganda? Aliens trying to divert us from the truth?

Is this possibly related to the Giant Alien Invasion?

Please let us know your thoughts.

Keep on keeping on.

Seth