May 22 – Post-Rapture Rapture has set in around the world. First, congratulations are in order to survivors everywhere. Not for surviving – was there every any question? – but for NOT taunting or encouraging a sick and aging being, Mr. Harold Camping. It took a lot of restraint to stop yourself from reporting floating people or even floating around yourself outside his window, making na-na-na-na-na faces at 6 pm when it became clear that Mr. Camping himself remained earthbound.
(For those of you who didn’t find this restraint? Shame on you and I would have done exactly the same thing if all the trampoline rentals hadn’t been already booked for parties.)
It doesn’t change the fact that many of us are clearly pretty mad at Mr. Camping today – who true to his name has apparently gone camping. How many survivors partied like it was 1999 under the mistaken hope of a heavenly hangover cure? Lured by signs like this one (below) to Rapture party spots around the globe? How many survivors are even now stumbling back into their ordinary lives with blinding headaches and less than perfect co-ordination, with some relief and even more regret?
Er, not me. Really. But many faceless, hypothetical others. Which brings me to the biggest threat posted by Mr. Camping’s global publicity stunt. Letting your guard down. In your relief -or disappointment- at not floating away today, it would be a mistake to assume that all is well. After all, anything that has an ending, usually has one or two or five false endings – depending on the budget! And by all accounts Mr. Harold “Doomy” Camping has a lot of budget after bilking a few people out of a lot of money. Now we all know the point of a false ending is to lull you into a false sense of security so the one you didn’t expect can REALLY make you jump.
But as any Chicken Little or self-proclaimed human cloning expert with alien connections can tell you, there is a limit to the number of times the world can almost end before people start to realize the truth.
(Which reminds me. Note to self: book trampoline now for October 20.)
What does this mean for Mr. Camping and his campaign of holy terror? What is the next act? Could he really be a vampire, on a clever Halloween recruiting campaign until October 20? Tune in October 20 for the exciting conclusion.
Or don’t. Whatever. Remember if you miss it, no worries. The sequel is virtually guaranteed.
