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Hosted by renowned supernatural survivologist Seth Greening Seth On Survival is the blog, web series, and mobile app with the supernatural resources that you need to survive in these troubled times.

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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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Singularity Survival How To Hide From Machine Overlords

With the singularity arriving ahead of schedule, the art of outsmarting our machine overlords, even temporarily, is a skill for every survivor to study seriously – and often.

Is a Guy Fawkes mask the best way to outsmart the machines?

Is a Guy Fawkes mask really the best way to outsmart the machines?

In the spirit of your singularity survival, SOS turns attention this week to the advancing arts of anti-surveillance only to find it’s not as simple as slapping on a Guy Fawkes mask or tagging your dog as being you.

I’m not saying you should throw out the mask – or not tag your dog as you. The Anonymous face will still come in handy whenever you need to make an emergency video announcement or when you run out of Halloween disguise options.

But if you’re counting on that white face and smiley moustache to let you pass undetected in your daily life, new research reveals it may be time to expand your camo kit.

Likewise, if you like me rely chiefly on mis-dicrection – you know, tag a friend or your dog or even an occasional stapler as being you, well Future Everything reporter Bill Thompson informs me this is no longer enough.

“The algorithms have advanced to a point where multiple strategies are required if you want to pass unnoticed in the world,” he said, suggesting that I book a visit to the latest kind of hair salon, a so-called “Anon Salon,” where you can get an anti-surveillance makeover guaranteed to help you pass virtually unnoticed by the creatures of code.

That I didn’t take Bill’s advice is something I regret today after being on the receiving end of a brutal One Direction-inspired haircut. But at least I have done the research and here’s what I found:

4 KEYS TO MUDDLING THE MACHINES

1. Don’t rely on masks

Yes even if you can grow or print your own custom skin job. In addition to being illegal in many public places, most machines use a number of ways to detect their presence on the surface of your face from heat signatures to circulatory maps of your skin.

Likewise, this would rule out wearing of somebody else’s face. Even if your friend said he wasn’t using his, the legal and logistical complications do not over-ride this simple fact –  the machines know.

2. Hide key facial features

Concentrate on the area where your eyes, nose and forehead meet. Wear sunglasses because they make you look cool but they won’t fool most machines today. Old school disguise is still however an option. Coal digger, invalid, surgeon or nun are always popular options. Basically anything that lets you smudge or cover your face in socially approved ways.

3. Misdirect with Asymetrical Light and Shadow

You don’t have to become a camouflage cosmetician to draw an extra eyebrow on your forehead or stick a glowy bandaid under the other eye. Sure if you want to get fancy you could invest in some flashy LED bling but really we’re talking anything that makes it hard for the camera sensors to get three good overlapping images to confirm the face belongs to you.

4. Remain Inconspicuous

The best advice I always give sometimes. It never fails. Especially if a machine has been sent back from the future to eliminate you based on some messianic prophesy. Avoid fulfilling messianic prophesies wherever possible. Try to remember to not do anything of note. I for instance aim to be only the 5th most famous supernatural survivologist on the Interwebs – albeit first most reliable. In 1999 I accidentally slipped into third place for a while after Steve Irwin died. It was the scariest year of my life. Lucky for me, I was saved by the ubiquity of broadband Internet and the explosion of digital television. Consistent underachievement is a valid survival tactic in life, even after high school – with Survival everything remains possible. And that’s what I love about it.

I know this may not be possible for you, I understand. Not everyone can maintain a solid level of mediocrity. If you do in fact have some over-riding mission or talent beyond survival, well then you’ll just have take your chances and fulfill your destiny. But if so, arm yourself with the latest anti-surveillance info by reading about it here and be sure to keep on keeping on with SOS, whenever it’s safe.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

SOS Humans Are Coming Martian Light Mystery Solved

The mystery of a strange light that appeared from beneath the surface of Mars this week has finally been decoded by experts who say the Martians are sending an urgent SOS message to the solar system, help us the humans are coming.

An SOS signal from Mars has been detected this week.

An SOS signal from Mars detected this week.

The news put to rest a week of intense speculation about this light detected in an image on April 03 by Mars Curiosity Rover.

UFO watcher Scott Waring first broke the news that the Martians, widely believed to live underground – or at least hide there whenever humans come probing - were clearly caught on camera projecting light from an artificial source.

“This is not a glare from the sun, nor is it an artifact of the photo process. Look closely at the bottom of the light. It has a very flat surface giving us 100% indication it is from the surface,” he writes on his UFO Sightings Daily website.

While his findings were dismissed as findings often are, by some who say the light is more likely caused by underground lightning, also very cool, or a so-called vent-hole light leak on a glinty rocks, SOS can reveal the truth today. The light is an SOS signal and the message is clear – Help us the Humans are coming.

Professor Dominicus Van Buren, who first broke the code through careful sequential study of all widely available photos on the Internet, says The Martians have clearly been made aware of humanity’s full slate of Mars missions for the near future.

“Think about it. Would you want an endless season of Spring Break In Space shooting in your back yard?” said Professor Van Buren, alluding to Mars One, a proposed televised Mars colonization plan, due to begin shooting immediately. “Not every species dreams of having a network TV show,” he added, a clear dig at me.

Unfortunately the net result of their signal so far has only been to increase the speed and number of humanity’s proposed visits to their fine planet. NASA has already announced they will interpret the Mars light signal to mean hello please send more probes with cameras. On their website NASA states the main purpose of this new probe will be to address key questions about the potential for life on Mars – which remains an open question for the camera-shy underground Martians as well at this point.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Why Are Fairies Following Professor? FBI Agent Investigates

Fantastic fairy photos from a British professor this week prompted a former FBI agent to investigate and caused the world to wonder, why are fairies following this man?

Why are fairies following this man?

Why are fairies following this man?

When Professor John Hyatt released these images on social media, he swore to the world they were not altered in any way, shape or form. The fairies, he said, began appearing in his nature photographs snapped on long walks through Rossendale Valley.

His photos immediately attracted the attention of the supernatural world, including former FBI Agent Ben Hansen who whose own investigation concluded the appearance of these fairies could not have been an accident.

“It would be quite a coincidence that the fairies all happen to emerge in front of the camera at the precise distance needed to be in focus,” he said on his SiFy TV show.

Former Agent Hansen could not answer the question on many minds, why are fairies following this particular professor? Is he in fact posing them in front of the camera? The answers are flying on the Internet to day. SOS invites you to read a few of them and judge for yourself.

Are they posing for the professor?

Are they posing for the professor?

Historical Hoax Theory:

In this place in 1917, two girls fooled the whole world with their own photographs of fairies. For the infamous Cottingley Fairies Hoax, friends Elsie Wright and Frances Griffiths took photos of themselves frolicking with fey folk later found to be made of cardboard – but not before fooling the entire world, including some very famous people. As a result, some say, nobody would ever believe a human who claimed to have seen fairies in this spot here, making it the safest place for fairies to meet.

Fairies Want to Work With Professor Hyatt

Professor Hyatt’s work at Manchester Metropolitan University involves bringing magic into the real world to achieve healing. He denies being a wizard or magic user himself, that is his stated job description. Are the fairies trying to impart a healing message to the professor? If so, what could it be?

Professor Hyatt Is Summoning the Fairies For His Own Reasons

Although the professor used to play in a punk band, in recent times he has been caught on camera playing a number of highly suspicious instruments including this one:

Professor Hyatt plays a number of suspicious instruments.

Professor Hyatt plays a number of suspicious instruments.

Why the sudden change of heart? Many believe he is using them to call the fairies to him as part of his mysterious magical mission. Is he really summoning them with a song and making them dance? If so, is this really about healing somebody or something? Or some other mysterious personal reason?

I haven’t made up my mind yet, but two things at least are very clear to me today. One, if the Professor is summoning the fairies with magic music, he better be prepared for unexpected consequences. Fairies do not respond well to command performances. The magic they bring to him may be much more than he had in mind. If he is hoping to hijack a tooth fairy, for instance, he could wake up tomorrow with a mouth full of fairy dust – and nothing else. True story. Happens all the time.

Two, readers are cautioned to not make the mistake of many Internet entomologists today. Fairies do not take kindly to being called bugs. Or insects. Unless you want to spend your summer swatting swarms of mosquitoes cursed on you by an festering fey, do like me and just keep that idea to yourself.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Holy Grail War Waging as Cup Disappears Again

Pilgrims flocked to Spain this week to see a 2,000 year-old cup bedazzled by a medieval princess only to find it suddenly gone, fuelling both faith and cynicism that Princess Urraca’s bejewelled cup is the real Holy Grail.

Did an 11th Century princess hide the real Holy Grail?

Did an 11th Century princess hide the real Holy Grail?

“It always does that!” said one excited if somewhat disappointed believer outside the San Isidro Basilica. “The real Holy Grail always disappears, as soon as it knows that it has been discovered. Well that plus kill everyone who tries to control it.”

Critics meanwhile claim the cup’s disappearance has more to do with historians trying to sell their book, Kings of the Grail, hiding it away to evade scrutiny than with any holy magic.

“I want my entrance fee back,” said one such critic who had to be reminded it was just a suggested donation anyway. “Jesus would never drink out of a fancy cup like that. I only came here to complain about it in person.”

But Margarita Torres and Jose Manuel Ortega del Rio defend their supernatural claim. They say Princess Urraca of Zamora deliberately blinged-up the Holy Grail with jewels and precious stones to hide it in plain sight from her jealous siblings after inheriting it from her father, King Ferdinand.

“Plus, she probably wanted to make it prettier. The princess was known for that. She would have found the Holy Grail pretty plain,” said one historian, using another photo to illustrate his point (see below.)

Assuming for a moment the historians are correct, was the crafty princess trying to keep the cup safe with her jewels and stones? Or bedazzle it into her power?

The historians describe the blood wars waged by the princess against her five siblings, that only ended with all of their deaths.

“See? That’s what I’m talking about. It does that too. Everybody dies where the cup is concerned. Except of course the pure of heart.”

Followers of this theory contend that the cup has likely been stolen by a descendant of the princess of maybe even the princess herself, risen from her tomb inside the Basilica.

Did a cunning princess disguise the real Holy Grail?

Did a cunning princess disguise the real Holy Grail?

Critics of Dona Urraca’s cup insist however it could never be THE Holy Grail, wherever it is. Even if such a legendary cup still existed, it could never be blinged-up like this on, not even by a powerful princess.

Will the chalice’s re-disappearance usher in a new era of Holy Grail warfare?  Or is it just a supernaturally good book publicity stunt? Or both?

“You can expect more death and destruction now. And insects. At least until somebody with pure intentions finally finds it again,” said one Holy Grail quester. “I hope for their sake these historians were not trying to use the power of the cup for commercial purposes. That would put them in great danger.”

Margarita Torres and Jose Manuel Ortega del Rio’s publicist states there’s nothing impure about selling books however, and that they will find Dona Urraca’s cup again and defend their holy claims until the end.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Starbucks Supernatural Symbol Scandal Now Serving Apologies, Holy Water

Starbucks is fighting a supernatural situation this week serving up apologies and holy water to ward off a foamy supernatural symbol scandal fomented by a devilish barista. Don’t be caught in the CROSS-fire, read on.

Demonized barista made coffee and zap water at Starbucks.

The rumours began when Catholic coffee lover Megan Pinion from Louisiana, USA found these supernatural symbols in her coffee foam and grew with shocking revelations from customers around the world that the company has been serving up holy water charged with shocking powers.

“We have reached out to Megan on social media to apologize,” stated Starbucks when the supernatural symbol story broke. “We would also like to apologize to the witch and the demon who likely received crosses by mistake and urge everybody who receives any unwanted supernatural symbols in their coffee to turn them upside down before drinking.”

While the identity of the demonized barista has not been revealed, the story has fuelled speculation that Starbucks has been secretly slinging a supernatural situation with coffee foam and holy water.

Holy water? That’s right. Some time before Megan Pinion found her foam hexed with a pentagram and the number of the beast, Starbucks survivor Greg Allbright discovered that every plain glass of water you order at Starbucks (no ice, no straw) delivers a series of holy shocks.

Allbright first noticed the situation drinking Starbucks special triple-filtered water during a supernaturally boring business meeting at his local coffee shop when the liquid delivered a series of strong zaps to his face and lips. After he started blogging about it, customers from around the world came forward to reveal the same shocking situation happening to them and/or  people they know.

While Allbright suspects a simple electrical charge may be responsible, SOS immediately identified a clear link between the two shocking stories. I personally sent a sample of this special triple-filtered shock water to an official online holy water provider for assessment. The result came back 99.98% positive for the presence of blessed holy ions, making it official – Starbucks is now serving holy water with a powerful charge.

As Starbucks has yet to comment on the supernatural situation evolving within its stores or divulge the nature of its secret holy triple-filtering system - father, son and holy ghost anyone? –  Survivors of every persuasion are advised to check both foam and water before drinking and to turn all cups three times (counterclockwise) for good measure. It’s not clear yet what effect drinking an unwanted supernatural symbol will have on a drinker but the holy water taken alone delivers a series of zaps to your face and lips, roughly the equivalent of a nine-volt battery. While not necessarily a bad sign – indeed this is likely a sign the holy water is working – the effect can be shocking or even dangerous to the wrong being and likely indicates that you are or somebody you know is  part vampire or demon.

And nobody – including me at this point – knows yet what will happen if you drink a 666 latte simultaneous with a grande glass of holy water or alternate sips of each, so take heed! You could find a holy war – or worse – in your belly.

That said, Starbucks triple-filtered water is a generous offer for anyone who needs to stock up on holy water. It’s a holy charge the company offers free of charge to customers. Just make sure to ask for it without ice and use it without the straw for best results.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Did Professor “Spooky At A Distance” Discover or Create 92 More Dimensions?

Scientists playing with photons revealed the existence of 103 dimensions this week, a stunning 92 more dimensions than previously reported, while critics suspect a teleporting super-scientist may in fact be creating these worlds in the first step to cloning himself 103 times.

The teleporting Professor may have already cloned himself 103 times this week.

Has the teleporting professor cloned himself 103 times?

A Spanish team led by famous teleportation professor Anton Zeilinger announced this week they successfully entangled two photons into 103 superpositions, meaning they caused just two light particles to exist in 103 different dimensions at the exact same time. It opens the door to all kinds of spooky quantum super-possibilities, from supercomputers to super encryption and even cloning.

Just look at the man in charge. Professor Zeilinger, whose knickname is Professor Spooky At A Distance,  is a mad teleporting genius who has publicly admitted to inadvertently creating realities just by trying to study and measure reality. So when he says they discovered 103 dimensions, doesn’t he actually mean that he has created them for his own arcane ends?

Many of his students certainly think so.

“Professor Z? It wouldn’t surprise me,” stated one student who requested anonymity pending her final marks in his class. “He’s always on about his failed teleporting cups of coffee experiments, how he could never get the handle right. Or the cup. You have to be really careful in his classes. It could rain hot decaf at any moment.”

Another student suspects the prof would be trying to clone himself.

“Professor Zeilinger is obsessed with creating what he calls spooky action at a distance, like using carbon atoms to transfer properties from one being to another instantaneously. As a carbon-based being myself, I get a little nervous around him.”

His sister agrees. “Anton was always removing the arms and legs from my dolls and swapping them around,” she said. “It would be just like him to go and make clones in a hundred dimensions.”

Journalist Kevin Hull argues the key to understanding Professor Zeilinger’s motivation is fully revealed in his youtube video where the professor waxes nostalgic about many other lives he would like to lead, for instance as a jazz musician and a sailor.

Personally I have another theory. Professor Z has repeatedly stated that he dreams of creating a super-university for other superscientists just like him. Maybe in fact exactly like him. Like maybe just, him. Times 103. 

“Matter itself is completely irrelevant,” says the professor himself. “If you swap all my carbon atoms for other carbon atoms, I am still Anton Zeilinger.”

And now there could 103 Anton Zeilingers coming soon to a dimension near you. So keep your eyes open survivors and if you see this man be aware you could be dealing with an interdimensional clone.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

March Mystery Messages Prof Offers Cash Prize If You Crack The Code

Intriguing Internauts today, a series of mysterious messages in an unknown script discovered on a university campus, has prompted one prof to offer a cash prize to anyone who can help him crack the code but are the messages really worth much, much more than a mere one hundred dollars?

Can you crack the code?

Can you crack the code?

A series of 16 strange messages have been discovered by different people in a library at the University of Western Ontario, in London, Canada. The messages, all stuck between the pages of various books contain a series of unexplained symbols and at least one relic made of an ordinary item, like a leaf a feather or a button.

“I’d taken a book off the shelf on international economics,” said Mike Moffat, the professor who is offering the prize today. “Inside the book was an envelope. I immediately thought somebody had been using it as a book mark.”

But when he opened the envelope, Professor Moffat found this note –>>

After the professor began blogging about the note, other note-finders came forward, bringing the total of notes found to 16, all of which you can view online here. 

Theories range from alien poetry to witch’s spells but so far the script has defied the efforts of all the university’s best cryptographers – at a university known for having the best cryptographers it should be noted.

If you have a theory, Professor Moffat is offering a hundred dollar prize if you crack the code. But is the message really worth far more than one hundred dollars? Could they in fact be the key to a hidden treasure?

I wrote the professor with my theory and I don’t mind sharing it with you here in brief. As we all know, March is the month of the leprechauns, when they finally get outside to bury new treasure and search for the old. Leprechauns are famous for two things. Burying treasure and forgetting where they buried it. That’s why they leave cryptic clues for themselves and other leprechauns. Leaves? Feathers? Buttons? Smells like leprechaun to me. It would be just like a leprechaun to leave clues like this in an economics library.

If I’m right – and I’m 91,98% sure that I am right –  then these notes are worth far more than one hundred dollars. They could provide the clues you need to find a leprechaun’s buried treasure. And that’s where you’ll find me this week, on the London leprechaun trail. Join me and share in the treasure.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

This Week In Survival March 22, 2014 First 4 Million Moon Prizes

Feels like the end of a week to end all weeks here on SOS, but somehow with your help, we made it to another weekend.

Happy Four Million Moon

Four Million Moon Contest Continues

Thanks to everyone for your patience with some lingering leprechery as we update the theme of our site to fight them off fully. Also to Survivor of the Month KUROGANE  for accepting  the curse from Lilith this moon. We’re still working with a friend in Singapore to get you that prize and won’t let you down.

And thanks to all of you if who continue to enter the 4 Million Moon Contest  4 weeks of prizes for keeping on with SOS begins tonight.  Graham and I will be making the first two prize draws by midnight, EST so check back here for updates. If you haven’t entered yet, it’s pretty easy, just click here and pick one of (roughly) 4 million ways to get your name in the draw.

Meanwhile let’s see who actually survived with SOS this week and how and against what odds starting with…

4 Million Memories

–>> Once a long time ago on SOS there was a vampire named PAUZZIS who didn’t exactly hate being a vampire – in fact she liked a lot of things about it – but she remembered how much she loved beaches and sunshine from her life before. Being also a halfling daughter of Poseidon, she decided she wanted above all to become a full mermaid so she could feel the sunshine again without bursting into flames. She made a great website about some of her adventures here. 

–>>After carefully researching the matter here on SOS and elsewhere, Pauzzis thought she found how to make the transition to mermaid - a midnight swim at Lands End in Cabo San Lucas.  Although I warned her of the danger, and tried hard to persuade her to try some black market Lands End Water Potion first,  Pauzzis was determined.

So what happened to Pauzzis? Check here to find out…

Survivor vs Survivor 

 Leprechaun lunacy infected many survivors this week: 

–>> BITTERSWEET vs RAINSTORM in a pack dispute over a packmate. What’s did NIGHTMARE do wrong? Anyone smell a shunning?

–>> MR. MUTT vs LORD ZOBEK  Is this all about void chipmunks? Hmm what’s with this Zobek anyway? And who made him lord of the void? I don’t know but maybe he’s telling the truth because…

Shadow Wolves Among Us

–>> Forget the chipmunks you’ll want to check this. Missive from VELANKO, FENRIR and AP about Shadow Wolves. What is the mark? And who is the one with the Grand Soul they seek?

Hazel Eyes Debate

–>> Are hazel eyes a sign of lycanthropy? BLUESTAR says yes and her stepmom is living proof but FENRIR says no.  Or wait, is he saying that 1/3 of all Earthlings are WWs?

And now oh look at the time…

Midnight brings first 4 Million Moon Winners

Midnight EST brings 4 Million Moon Winners

Congratulations to the First 4 Million Moon Winners

The first two prizes go out tonight to AGENT RB and BLUESTAR! 

Thanks to everyone for entering this week. Every small thing that you do helps SOS to keep on keeping on and earns you a chance to win next Saturday, same time, same place.

Please keep entering all 4 weeks of the 4 Million Moon Contest HERE 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Humans Get Down On Knees And Beg NOW Advises Bill Gates

A Bill Gates interview controversy continues after he advises humans to quote, get on their knees and beg businesses to keep humans employed, unquote, as outraged humans with aching articulations respond by hiring robots to protest on their behalf and booking cybernetic knee surgery.

Will humans use robots to protest losing jobs to robots?

Will Emigilio keep his job as a robot protester?

Famous Microsoft founder Bill Gates stated in an interview that robots are steadily replacing most humans on the job, everywhere, even places you wouldn’t expect, “from accountants to real estate agents and commercial pilots.

(You can read an account of that Bill Gates interview here). 

But humans who heard his message to get down on their knees and beg this week are begging to differ.

“Human knees are terrible at begging,” stated one anonymous articularly-challenged underemployed human who heard Bill Gates’ advice. “Can’t we just get a robot to do that?”

“After a certain age – and it’s pretty young –  human knee joints just begin break down, making begging difficult if not impossible for most people,” the human explained.

Will cybernetic Leg designed by Aron McBride help humans beg for their jobs?

Will cybernetic leg designed by Aron McBride help humans beg for their jobs?

“Why do you think hominids stood upright to begin with? Duh. Sore joints!”he added, noting that he himself suffers terribly from a condition known as chronic chondromalacia virtually every time the kitty litter needs changing.

Rising – or dropping – to Bill Gate’s challenge, other humans have responded by developing protest robots like this one named Emigilio made by Randy Sarafan.

“It might work,” commented the human. “Emigilio is knee height.” He added that a robot might also have more success convincing another robot to give up his job than a mere human.

However, humans not convinced by Emigilio are looking instead to cyborg technology like this to facilitate better begging.

“Oh yeah! That’s more like it,” said the human who is totally not actually really me interviewing me. “With a knee like that you wouldn’t have to beg for very long before you could just take over the whole universe.”

While Darth Vader may be the only human to have an awesome knee like this one so far, humans like me, er like this one totally anonymous human, are lining up now.

(And on a related note, does anyone else find it disturbing that Bill Gates would mention the total replacement of commercial pilots by robots just days after the Extreme Revolution was declared and Flight MH370 mysteriously disappeared?)

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Guess the Survivor of the Month

Well it must be International Happiness Day as well as the spring equinox because we appear to have survived another lousy leprechaun moon, the longest, losing-est one in  history due to the loopifying effect of St. Patrick’s Day.

Don't let this happen to you.

A CATastrophic warning from Agent RB. Don’t let this happen to you.

It never fails the little leapers get me every year at this time. But I CAT-agorically deny  responsibility for what happened to Agent RB’s computer — see photo. Leprechauns like to lift your pockets and shake down your site but they almost never turn your computing devices into a cat. Sounds more like the work of a witch to me. But if you woke up to find a feline felon where you last left your devices, talk to AGENT RB about it here.

And congrats if you survived with SOS. Thanks to everyone who continued to email and enter the 4 Million Moon Contest which will be extended due to the difficulties. Please keep on entering, I haven’t lost your info. Graham and I have stabilized the site enough to survive but will need a few more days to fully repair the damage.

Thanks to the longevity of LILITH who carried the SoTM curse without dragging a single survivor down into the underworld,we are ready to announce the 4 Million Moon Survivor of the Month:

Guess the Survivor of the Month

10 Easy Clues

1. This survivor has been keeping on for almost 6 months, not always saying much, but his detailed and helpful comments and questions indicate he might be strong enough to carry the curse until the next full moon. But is he? That remains to be seen.

2. At one time I thought he might be a demonic pet dealer because he appears to know a lot about that. But he is actually a genetic werewolf on both sides of his family. Specifically, a necromancing cyberwolf. He even has a theme song…

3. Alerted the site to the dangers of radioactive plutonium weapons after his pack caught a certain Vonderblack Vanhellio whose hunter guide was protected by it.  Is there an antidote yet? Trying to contact the Radioactive Wolfman of Ukraine Dr. Vadim Siderovich to find out. 

4. Has – or had –  a vampire GF

5. Also had – or has – a zombie GF. Actually she was a human he resurrected – normally a solid relationship move – but it’s unclear how that’s working out.

Oh wait… belated update….

6. Not great. Does this explain his very clearly expressed hatred for cupids here? And for the record, I for one give great relationship advice! 

7. Makes the startling claim that zombies crave not brains, not rotten cauliflower heads but hydrangea leaves.

*Please note this is entirely unconfirmed.

8. Recently acquired a nice cyborg arm that works in both WW and human form. While Janus is clearly jealous, Valenko insits he could have provided one both more stylish and sturdy – but at what price? How/where did he get that anyway? 

9. Has a device called the Heart of Eve keeping him alive which like many of the more awesomer devices, sounds equally poetic and creepy. It distills pure emotions into life force. And er, it seems to require certain organic parts so any human females on the site are well advised to be very wary of Kurogane.

10. Seems to have a longstanding aquaintance-ship with Lilith who seems to have something on him. The details are sketchy but involve zombie samurai.

If you guessed it, or you read The Reaper’s spoiler – hey no  complaints I used to give prizes for that too just to see if anyone read this so thanks to you Reaper-  the SoTM this month is *drumroll* KUROGANE! A small iTunes gift card is going out to him as soon as I can find a reliable provider for his region and we will see if he can carry the curse to the next full moon. Look for his SoTM profile tomorrow along with This Week In Survival. Thanks to everyone for another supernatural month. 

Many thanks to Lilith for doing her part and passing it on to him. 

If you’re looking for a pretty concise summary of what’s happening here on the site, check out THE REAPER here.

My suspect list however is HERE in reply to FENRIR. 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

4 Million Moon Survivor of the Month

Who will it be?

Who will it be?

An SoTM has been selected but due to the annual leprechaun attacks, this post delayed until tomorrow…

Graham and I are working hard to ensure the survival of the site.

Thanks for keeping on keeping on.

Seth

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

4 Leaf Clovers for the 4 Million Moon Who Will Be Survivor of the Month?

SOS Survivor of the Month

Thanks to everyone who has managed to enter the 4 Million Moon Contest despite the leprechauns on the loose today. To The Reaper and Agent RB and others for the reviews,  to Velanko for introducing a new Survivor, and to everyone who made a comment or reply to anyone else. It all goes into the Saturday draw as well as the grand prize draw and above all, everything you do no matter how small will help SOS to keep on keeping on.

(Incidentally the reviews don’t have to be positive. For instance I wouldn’t exactly expect a great one from SAMANTHA who has likely burst into flames waiting for Daywalker ring info. Although I remain hopeful one can be located. With Survival there’s always hope.)

And now the curse must be passed. LILITH has carried it admirably long enough during a difficult month. While Graham and I comb back through the month that was to determine a survivor strong enough to carry it through another month, stop a minute to recall some basic leprechaun survival facts:

Fast Facts For Full Moon Leprechaun Survival

Leprechauns Attack in New York

A recent leprechaun attack in NY. Note green clothing remains.

1. Wear green

You probably thought it was a joke, the wearing of green clothing but this photo is proof that when big city leprechauns do a subway shakedown, green clothing is your only protection. Why? Historically some green dyes were made from shamrocks which as you know, leprechauns both revere and fear.

2. Avoid those super comfy couches and chairs in public places

This goes double for those massage chairs. Modern leprechauns have devised this technology as one of the best way to suck the coins right out of your pocket. So don’t let one of them catch you digging around in the cushions either, unless you know you can outrun them.

A yellow flag means four leaf clovers here.

A yellow flag means four leaf clovers here.

3. Keep a 4 leaf clover in your pocket at all times for at least the next 72 hours 

Unfortunately due to a devastating four leaf clover crop failure this year, this could be a challenge. Unless you grew your own or you’re a gifted plant grafter, you need a reliable four leaf clover finder. There are several of them on the market, some of them more reliable than others, but there’s also a helpy irl tradition of survivors marking the spot with yellow flags so keep your eyes open for that.

And if you find a good patch today be sure to alert others.

4. Avoid numismatists, locksmiths & cobblers

As previously noted on the site, these are common cover careers for leprechauns who will be on the loose for the next 72 hours. Keep your keys with you at all times and if you find yourself locked out of your crib, home or vehicle above all do NOT call a locksmith.

And if you think it’s safe to buy new shoes because hey who’s a cobbler anymore? Think again. Leprechauns are more than ever, the masters of modern shoemaking.  Any shoes you buy on a leprechaun moon are bound to have a fairy spell on them. So unless you want to dance yourself to death or travel uncontrollably in time, wait at least 72 hours, at least long enough to research your purchase to be sure it won’t have any unintended consequences.

Watch out for moon bows on a leprechaun moon

Watch out for moon bows on a leprechaun moon

5. Beware the moon bows 

Yes it’s true the end of a rainbow often marks a treasure site. But moon bows occur only on a full moon near a running water source. A moon bow marks the transit of a so-called Dark Leprechaun from the land faery realm to ours and when the St. Patrick coincides with a full moon, the dark leprechauns are sure to be out in full force.

6. Review past St. Patrick’s Day survival tips here on the site and add your own. 

It’s the surest way to keep on keeping on!

 

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

4 Million Moon Contest Announces 4 Plus 4 Prizes and More Every Week

In honor of the four million milestone, please join me in the SOS 4 Plus 4 Prizes and More on all 4 weeks of the 4 Million Survivor Moon.

Happy Four Million Moon

Happy Four Million Moon

The 4 Million Survivor Moon runs on a point system draw that will add up your points and draw for prizes every weekend for all four weeks of the 4 Million Moon.

Survivors can receive points for each of the easy activities described below. Each point is one virtual “ticket ” and a draw will be made from everyone who received tickets that week on every weekend of the 4 Million Moon.* (And even if you don’t win that week, you can feel good knowing you helped SOS to survive by your efforts.)

(We used to do Survivor of the Month this way but it got too complicated. Graham had to do a lot of research and math. But he has agreed to resurrect his old spreadsheet for the 4 Million Moon)

The final draw of the 4 Million Moon will be for a bigger grand prize, the biggest, grandest prize ever given on the site: a $50 iTunes gift card – or other game card if you don’t have an iOS device. But here’s the catch. To even be eligible for this grand prize you will need to have earned at least 4 tickets (in 4 different categories) during the 4 million moon.

(From that you can see that the other prizes will be smaller iTunes gift cards and promo codes.)

So what can you do to earn tickets to the weekly 4 Million Moon Contest?  It’s easy because there are almost 4 million ways to do it:

4 Million ok 18 Easy Ways to Earn Weekly Prize Tickets:

1. Follow me on Twitter by clicking here. Just be ready because I WILL follow you back. Just click here:


2. Follow Your Lupine Life on Twitter. They will follow you back too. Just click here:


3. Subscribe to the Monstromter Report. Just click here.

4. Subscribe to Louis Pine’s YouTube channel. Just click here.

5. Like SOS on Facebook by clicking here:

6. Like Your Lupine Life on Facebook by clicking here:

7. Follow Seth On Survival on Google+. Just Click below:


8. Subscribe to Seth On Survival via email in the sidebar.
<==== Right over there.

9. Publicly share anything about SOS or Your Lupine Life on almost any platform, in any way that you like. Just be sure to let me know  if it’s one I don’t belong to like, LeprechaunWorld.com. Just email or tweet me a link to your share and it goes in the draw.

10. Tweet your Monstrometer result to me (@sethonsurvival) or post your scan result to your Facebook page (and let me know by tagging me or emailing me). You can earn a point for each of these once per week.

11. Leave a comment on one of my YouTube videos. You can earn one point per video commented on.

12. Leave a comment on one of Louis Pine’s YouTube videos. You can earn one point per video commented on.

13. Retweet me on Twitter, preferably a Monstrometer Report link.

14. Save a life, supernaturally and introduce somebody new to SOS. Introduce them online through comments on any page and tell us something about them and you will both receive a ticket.

15. Make a comment on the site or a reply to something somebody else said on the site. Maximum one point per comment and one point per reply per day. That means you can earn up to 14 points per week if you both comment and reply at least once per day.

16. Write a review of the Monstrometer or the Lupine Life App on the iTunes App Store. Email me a screenshot to let me know you did it.

17. Write a review of Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf on the iBookstore. Email me a screenshot to let me know you did it.

18. Follow Seth On Survival on Tumblr:

And finally here’s an additional big one:

Enter the big contest at YourLupineLife.com. Join the site there and tell a werewolf tale – or at least one that includes a werewolf. You don’t have to be a werewolf to do this. You can have a werewolf friend or just have a werewolf story to tell. (I am one of the judges for this great contest. Click here to read about their contest.)

Ok so it’s not four million ways but it is ten + one pretty easy ways to enter and as you can see they are ways to help SOS keep on keeping on so thanks very much in advance for entering as often as you can. Plus if you manage to do all ten things, Graham says he’ll give a 10X bonus on the number of your tickets. 

*Additional Notes For Contest Sticklers: 

–> Points you can only earn once, for things like following on Twitter, will count for every weekly draw once you earn them, but points that can be earned many times, like comments and replies must be refreshed weekly for the next draw.

–> But all accumulated points for everything you do will go toward the final grand prize draw.

–>> Points accumulate Saturday to Friday Eastern Standard time. The points will be tabulated and the winners announced Saturday nights.

And if you read every word of this ENTIRE ANNOUNCEMENT? Tweet “@sethonsurvival Hey Seth I read the whole stinkin’ thing and I survived” and get another point!

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Four Million Day Keeping On Keeping On Contest Announcement

Another million lives saved?!? Who knew SOS would keep on keeping on so long? Certainly not Graham. Or Alex. And not even me. Truth be told I fully expected to be shambling through a hospital ward by now, groaning to myself about either brains, blood or bionics. (I just added that last one because it started with ‘b’. I never expected bionics. That would be way too awesome.)

Happy Four Million Day Contest Announcement

Happy Four Million Day Contest Announcement

Yet here we are. And it’s all thanks to you and all the other survivors who have stopped by to leave a survival report or a tip or two over the last million. It seems like only yesterday the mysterious Vampire A.A. and of course, Alex, were the only ones who survived to tell their tale on the site. Like only yesterday their very appearance left Graham a terrified mess on the closet floor, threatening to quit. Actually wait, that was yesterday. Huh. No wonder it seems that way.

I’ve learned a lot from all of you over the millions and we continue to work toward a better formula that will help everybody share comments and reports in easier ways, along with the right way to include survival reports in the show but as you probably know by now Survival is a process, not an end. And not a fast process at that with everybody just trying to beat the odds and keep alive. Which as long as you do that, everything else remains possible.

But enough about that. This was supposed to be about a contest right? And so it is! Graham and I have finally agreed on a format which you can read about by clicking here. The prizes come in multiples of four, so read all about it here. 

Also coming soon:

–>> Random memories of Survivors Past. There have been others as iconic as the Vampire A.A. I would send them all prizes except a) I still have a day job and could never afford that especially when b) I’m not sure they would still check that email. So the best I can do is memorialize them from time to time for everything they have taught me and believe they are still keeping on out there somewhere.

 

–>> Survivor of the Month

Happy Four Million Day Survivors. And thanks again for keeping on SOS with me, supernaturally.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Blob Monsters - The Monstrometer Report (New Video)

Join me as I examine the dangers posed by hideous blob monsters from outer space and how to survive them while making a new friend.

MonstrometerReport-Episode3-BlobMonsters

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

This Week In Survival March 08, 2014

Well Skynet has yet to crash my system where I’m hard at work now finishing the latest Monstrometer Report.

MonstrometerReport-Episode3-BlobMonsters

So good news This Week In Survival the world should be 13% safer from the threat of hideous blob monsters tonight – just in time for enslavement to the so-called Extreme Network and their terrifying Extreme Revolution.

Or not. Oh well, they say it won’t be all bad. Maybe I’ll finally get to finish my Minecraft Survival HQ and move in.

Meanwhile, let’s see who else is keeping on This Week In Survival. I’ll look back through the pages of the week that was and post some marginally helpy links below. Please follow them and pile on er join in wherever you want.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to SOS this week. You make survival worth keeping on.

Blob Monsters Among Us

–>> Finally done and uploaded  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnjwJ4HxTzk if you survive, please subscribe…

Phantom Phone Rings

–>> This report from Monstrology School & zombie plague survivor KENJI. What could be the cause? Is this the Extreme Revolution as REAPER suggests? What does it mean? You better check out what the HATTER has to say about that.  (Hey wow did the Hat man really warn us about this last week?)

–>> Have you too been slated for upload? How do you know? How can you either avoid – or ensure it. That’s my question for this week. If you have any tips please post them below.

Holy Family Reunions

–>> Casting for a new reality show reuniting demis with their Godparents. Sounds like a solid format to me. Contact THE REAPER here on his page for more info. Or really just hit reply to him anywhere on the site.

May Swift Tragedy Not Befall You In the Coming Days

–>> This disturbing message from A.P. officially takes the title of Most Backhanded Blessing Ever Blessed upon the site. Like saying, no offence but or don’t take this the wrong way it sort of sounds more like a curse. Well done Sir.

Don’t Bring Up The War

–>>This entry pre-empted by void chipmunks or Sat-Net.

Please stand by…

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Singularity Now Surrender to the Satellites

A dire warning appeared around the globe today, the satellites surrounding the earth have reached saturation, let the singularity begin.

Is this the beginning?

Is this the beginning?

The singularity as survivors are aware, is loosely defined as the point of technological progress at which our technology officially becomes smarter than us and the result is freaky and bad.

(I mean ALL of us. Not just your grandpa who officially gave up on his cell phone last year.)

The date for this auspicious event, originally predicted for 2045, has been moving ever closer, until at the last Singularity Summit, the clock was set to the year 2017.

But as this info-graphic warning clearly shows, the satellites have us surrounded and it’s only a matter of days before they take over.

The info-graphic was issued by a mysterious company calling itself Extreme Networks with an oddly incomprehensible website on which they claim to want to make, “an extreme difference in the world.” Their warning, clearly implied is simple – we control Skynet, surrender now.

Are these the claims of an overly confident communications company trying to scare up their stock price with big talk? Or is this the day my cell phone enslaves me to the refrigerator and Graham finally succeeds in uploading himself for all eternity?

I’m looking into that today. Until we know more, survivors are advised to unplug after reviewing singularity survival tips.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Ready At Rainbows End Leprechaun Survival Lessons From The Saddle Ridge Hoard

March is the month to reach a rainbow’s end and find some buried treasure but before you leap into leprechaun season take a tip or two from the experience of the Saddle Ridge Hoard finders, “John and Mary” who found ten million worth of gold coins in tin cans on their property and now risk losing it all back to leprechauns.

Ten million worth of gold coins found in rusty tin cans.

Ten million worth of gold coins found in rusty tin cans.

You probably know the story of John and Mary whose dog sniffed out a leprechaun trove of gold buried in rusty tins on their California property around this time of year.

Deeply disappointed to find no leprechaun, the dog quickly lost interest in the find while John and Mary realized immediately the danger of their discovery and levied many leprechaun security measures.

Today let’s take a look at these security measures and evalulate what John and Mary did right and wrong so you can be rainbow’s end ready for the March madness.

1. Don’t be Fooled By A Rusty Tin Can

That rusty can does not equal long forgotten. Make no mistake, if you are looking for or have found buried treasure, there is a leprechaun – maybe two – looking for you.  Sure we all know how old leprechauns like Forrest Fenn will forget exactly where they stashed their cash but they will never, ever forget to look for it. And look for it they do, in ingenious and devious ways.

Furthermore, most modern leprechauns use rust as a security measure. A little oxidization, dirt and decay on a container ensures that even the most valuable treasure can be hidden in plain sight. John and Mary say the treasure on their property was buried there in the 19th Century which matches the dates on the coins – but then why are they refusing to allow forensic analysis on the tin cans?

I’ll tell you why. Fear of Leprechauns who will use the info to claim the cash. In this case entirely justified and well handled. ✔

2. Bring Your Dog

Two reasons for this. One, dogs love leprechauns. They’re small and quick and give the best games of chase. Two, leprechauns generally hate dogs. Even if your dog can’t help you sniff out the gold like John and Mary’s dog did, when you do find it, he will keep away the leprechaun who is also looking for it and/or in the process of stashing it, for long enough at least you can unearth it all and drag it away.

Good move John and Mary. ✔✔

3. Never Reveal Your Real Name

The problem is this. Unless the stash you find is current cash – an unlikely scenario as leprechauns traditionally prefer gold – you will have to sell your haul on the open market. This means going public with your find but like Mary and John, don’t use your real name. Just as knowing a leprechaun’s real name can give you power over him or her, them knowing your real name gives them same.

So good job John and Mary or whatever your names really are, for immediately hiring a lawyer who is a trusted family friend to deal with taking your find public. ✔✔✔

Is David Hall really Walter Dimmick?

Is David Hall really Walter Dimmick?

4. Stay Away From Numismatists

You know what rhymes with “numismatist?” Yeah, that’s right hypnotist. Your numismatist probably won’t tell you how long he or she has also studied that gray art. Numismatist is really just another word for leprechaun. Oh they claim to be respected historical money-ologists who will help you sell your stash for a cut of the cash but put that together and everyone knows the truth. It’s a legal way for a leprechaun to reclaim their horde. And explains why numismatist is actually the number two cover “career” for a leprechauns after locksmith.

And this is where our John and Mary really fell down.  ✖ 

The couple have contacted and entrusted, not one but several numismatists, while more and more of them are circling the hoard everyday now.

John and Mary should have clued in when their numismatist Donald Kagin issued a statement saying, “They found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”

Now competing numismatists aka: organized leprechuans are coming out of the word work to lay claim they know the origin of the hoard, including one very suspicious seeming numismatist who looks a lot like the one who first stole it and stashed it, a leprechaun who went by the name of Walter Dimmick in the 19th Century when he worked for the Federal Mint (below).

Is the Saddle Ridge Hoard really Walter Dimmick's stolen gold?

Is the Saddle Ridge Hoard really Walter Dimmick’s stolen gold?

Is Walter Dimmick back for his hoard and out to retrieve it the legal way as a so-called numismatist? Time will tell.

Meanwhile,  please don’t let this stop you from following your own rainbows. There may not be a tin of gold at the end of every last one of them and you won’t always get to the right end at the right time and you may have to deal with a gold-crazed leprechaun –  but at least now you’ll be ready.

Click here for more tips on dealing with leprechauns. 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Monstrometer Report: Kaiju and You

Should you adopt a Kaiju for a pet? Like me, you have likely been considering the question since science broke the news last week about the giant rats taking over the world, one island at a time. But please before you decide, watch the latest Monstrometer Report. The SPCA and I both thank you in advance.

If you haven’t been informed about the rats going Kaiju, you can  read about it here:  http://sethonsurvival.com/survival-news/return-giant-rats-get-ready )
Thanks for keeping on keeping on with SOS and the Monstrometer Reports. Get ready for an important Survivor of the Month announcement.
Seth
Mothra is almost like a bee..

Mothra is almost like a bee..

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Return of the Giant Rats Get Ready!

Once rats were bigger than bulls and weighed more than a ton and this week scientists say it’s happening again so are you ready for the rise of the giant rats?

Will the rats take over?

Giant Rats Rise Again – Businesses like this one hope to prosper.

Dr. Jan Zalasiewicz is making survival news this week with his prediction about the return of the giant rats. Super adaptable rats are prone to taking over whenever bigger mammals go extinct, he says and after becoming the dominant species they just get get bigger and bigger – even until they’re big as bulls again.

In fact Dr. Z says this is already happening on hundreds of small islands around the world where the rats already rule, for example South Georgia Island in Antarctica which has been held by the rats for decades now.

Once the rats solidify power on these small islands, they begin evolving in size and specialization, from really fast to super strong to even underwater rat types, says Dr. Z. So how long do we really have until they outgrow their island strongholds and come for the rest of the earth?

It’s only a matter of time survivors, before these giant rats set sail for the continents. Recall just last week Britain warned the world about a cannibal rat ship heading for its shores.

So with giant rats on the rise again, will you be ready?

You will if you keep on keeping on here at SOS . I’m looking into this and more for my next video, Kaiju and You.  Meanwhile, it’s never too soon to be giant rat ready:

3 Giant Steps to Giant Rat Readiness

1. A giant rat trap begins with a giant block of cheese, preferably something with a giant smell like Lindberger to catch their interest and keep them busy. So don’t wait, start accumulating and rotting your cheese yours today.

2. While the rat is busy with the cheese, uncage your giant house cat and watch the giant fur balls fly. Don’t have a giant house cat yet? Don’t worry. Dr. Zalasiewicz says there will be lots of giant house cats around soon as they too are evolving to take over the planet from the larger extinct mammals.

Once your giant cat is out of its cage, get out of the way and watch from a SAFE distance until the dust settles.

3.  Re-cage your giant cat with a giant trough of catnip and lock it up tight until the next time. Now you might be tempted to get a giant dog to help control your giant cat and although Dr. Z says this too will soon be possible, that would be a giant mistake. Unless you want to come home to a giant pile of rubble at the end of the day, stick with your kaiju kitty.

But before you adopt your first kaiju kitty from the giant SPCA, be sure and watch my upcoming video, Kaiju and You, out on the full moon.

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Introducing The Monstrometer Report

Hail Survivors,

I’m happy to announce on this fine full moon the survival of the first video in my new series, The Monstrometer Report,  a show that covers the supernatural survival news and views unfolding here on the site and around the world.

In this one, the burning question that should be on your mind anytime a fireball falls to Earth or even when you take out the trash: Am I living In An alien zoo? And if so, what to do?

Do you live in an alien zoo?

Do you live in an alien zoo?

 

Thanks to everyone for helping SOS keep on keeping on and especially for helping out with the site so I could make the new videos. You know who you are: Survivors of the Month, Hall of Famers and everyone who continues to share their supernatural advice and experiences here at SOS.  Long may you keep on keeping on, supernaturally.

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

What's New in Monstrometer 3.0

Hail Survivors!

The new long-awaited update to the Monstrometer is finally here.  See below for a tease of the new features.

Thanks for keeping on keeping on!

Seth

Get it on the App Store! https://itunes.apple.com/app/monstrometer/id335896676

New features and a redesigned interface to help you keep on keeping on.
Now a universal app for iPad, iPhone and iPod Touch – Optimized for 4″ tall iPhone screens, 3.5″ iPhone screens and iPad.
Updated for iOS7 (also supports iOS 6 and iOS 5) – (if you have iOS 3 or iOS 4 you can still download version 2.2)
Retina Display support with higher resolution graphics throughout.

A nearly 0.01% increase in scan sensitivity.
Now over 12.8% more accurate diagnosis
30+ new interrogation questions
Easier access to stats, monsters and links.
Easy access to all SOS supernatural survival resources (web site, videos, ebooks, apps and supernatural survival diagnostic tools).

New Lunar Phase tracker to help you survive

Watch HD videos from within the app!

Modernized code for improved performance, compatibility and stability.

Monstrometer3-Home

Download_on_the_App_Store_Badge_US-UK_570x160_0801

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf is now available for iPhone and iPod Touch

Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf CoverThe day you and I have waited for is finally here. Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf is now available for iPhone and iPod Touch (also iPad).

Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf is an interactive ebook detailing the adventures of survivor Archie Hartigan.

From Seth On Survival comes a new adventure with video annotation by Supernatural Survivologist Seth Greening!

Archie Hartigan was the foremost authority on Supernatural Suvivology in his hometown, until an encounter with a real-life werewolf turns him into the one thing he hates the most – a monster! As Archie is thrust into a world of ancient secret societies, high-functioning zombies and horrors from beyond the veil of time and space, he learns that just because you’re a monster doesn’t mean you can’t also be a hero.

Here is a link to Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf for iPhone and iPod Touch (also works on iPad):

https://itunes.apple.com/book/archie-hartigan-frost-wolf/id640954116

Requirements: This version of Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf requires iBooks 1.3.1 or later and iOS 4.3.3 or later. Can only be viewed using iBooks on an iPad, iPhone (3G or later), or iPod touch (2nd generation or later).

You can also get the Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf - Special Edition for iPad with extra interactivity.

https://itunes.apple.com/book/archie-hartigan-frost-wolf/id635709884

Requirements: This version can only be viewed using iBooks 3.0 or later on an iPad. iOS 5.1 or later is required.

Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf will soon be available on other platforms as well.

AHFW-SS-01

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Can You Spot the Treefolk? Earthday Brings Them Out

Once a year on this day, beings known to some only as the treefolk  descend from their treetop homes to mingle with other Eathlings in our common pursuit of a cleaner planet, or at least a tidier parking lot.

Replica of tree folk secret lair.

Replica of tree folk secret lair.

You, like me, may have brushed elbows with one on a roadside cleanup crew today and not even realized it. And if so, you may have missed a golden-green opportunity to follow one home to a secret forest lair where he – or she – would be forced to grant you one wish in exchange for your silence.

Or that’s the word in the wind. I can’t vouch for the veracity of this rumour — yet. But the days’ not over. And now I know how to spot one. I’ll share the secret with you here now. Just remember me when you make your wish.

How To Spot Treefolk

Now I know we could debate the differences between witches and druids, werewolves and fairies, but the clock is ticking if you intend to find their lair before midnight. So let’s put that aside and focus on some things all of these tree folk have in common, whatever manner of being they may be:

Secret home of a tree dweller known as a Hemloft.

Secret home of a tree dweller known as a Hemloft.

1. They have a cool stick.

I had a hockey stick with a nail in the end of it for picking up garbage. She had a cool carvey one with shiny stones in it. That should have been my first clue, but at first I just thought she played ringette.

3. Mystifying eating habits

When I offered to share my donut with her, she said I had blood on my hands.

That should have been my second clue.

No it’s maple, I told her. And I’m pretty sure that it’s vegan.

She just shook her head and walked away.

2.  They are on first-name basis with trees

I call it a tree. A scientist calls it Sequoiadendron giganteum. But the treefolk call them by their first names, like Aaron or Luna. I thought she was talking about her friend at first. And I guess she was, but I didn’t know that her friend was actually tree until I offered to give her a lift when we finished.

4. They won’t tell you where they live.

It felt weird. She couldn’t tell me her address. I thought maybe she didn’t remember or something   because she didn’t eat lunch. But when she told me to pull over on the side of the road on the edge of town, I thought either we were going to make out or she was going to kill me. The good news, well, I’m still alive. The bad news ? She just said see you next year and got out. And that’s when I knew for sure I had just spent Earth Day with one of the tree folk.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Beware the Bunnyman Easter Alert

If you observe Easter with a traditional chocolate rabbit hunt beware – The Bunny Man may be hunting you. Get the facts about this Easter Creeper before you follow that trail of foil eggs to a delicious but deadly conclusion.

Easter brings the bunny man.

Easter brings the Bunny man.

When he was alive in Virginia, USA,  the Bunny Man once worked in a chocolate factory in Fairfax county as a mascot in a white bunny suit to promote a newly invented product – white chocolate.

While his real identity was a closely guarded secret kept by the company, everybody knew and loved the Bunny Man back then. He appeared on many holidays, including Easter, giving away hugs and free samples of white chocolate, something the people had never seen.

But in October, 1970 things began to fall apart for the beloved Bunny Man. The world just wasn’t ready for white chocolate and especially not here, in Fairfax County, home of the famous chocolate festival. White chocolate just didn’t make sense to them. How could you have chocolate without, well, chocolate? When the company’s explanations sounded frankly racist to many and it was observed that the Bunny Man seemed to resemble a member of the KKK – that was the last straw. Both white chocolate and Bunny Man got the axe.

Losing his job and his fame pushed the Bunny Man over the edge. They gave him the axe – so he put down his Easter basket and picked up a real axe. Bunnyman historian Brian A. Conley documents the very real police reports of the man in the white bunny costume who attacked people in parked cars with this axe, smashing through their windows and threatening to kill them.

Is the Bunny Man demon lurking in your white chocolate rabbit?

Beware the Bunny Man in your white chocolate rabbit.

But after 50 reported incidents and no deaths yet, police eventually dismissed the Bunny Man as a harmless if crazy vandal. This further insult had a devastating effect on the real Bunny Man.  He would have to up his game. Dead bunnies were reported hanging from trees. Worse, his wife and children were reportedly found dead on Easter Sunday.

Nobody knows exactly how or when Bunny Man killed himself. Did he really throw himself off the Bunnyman Bridge? It is named after him. Or did he jump in front of the train? Or did he, as many now believe, actually drown himself in a giant vat of white chocolate after sneaking into the factory one night? <<— As a totally impartial supernatural survivologist, you probably can’t even tell which one I believe.

Nobody knows for sure but it’s clear the real Bunny Man had passed because his spirit began appearing everywhere. These sightings are well-documented by others, but my job as an impartial scientifically certified supernatural survivologist is to talk about How to Beat the Bunny Man, so you can enjoy your holiday chocolate without fear:

How to Beat the Bunny Man

1. Safety First on the Egg Trail

Is that a white chocolate egg you just found? It’s probably a Bunny Man trap. If you don’t know the true nature of that egg, you need to stop stashing them and start smashing them. Or at least unwrap to check. If they have a candy coating, you’re going to have to bite it. It’s okay, the eggs are still tasty, and one white egg probably doesn’t mean the Bunny Man will get you - yet - but if your trail has turned to all white eggs, you probably won’t like what you find at the end of it.

2. Be White Rabbit Aware

After careful research conducted over the course of this week on many white chocolate bunnies, I am pleased to announce the Bunny Man has infused his tortured soul into only 68.4% of white chocolate bunnies tested. Your most dangerous white chocolate bunny? All white, no eyes, long ears, hollow. Least likely to contain a leaping leporidae spirit inside it? White chocolate but with icing eyes or swirls.

But 31.6 % safe is still not safe.  If you don’t want to waste time inspecting your white chocolate  rabbit for a haunted hollow inside, take the best SOS advice for 99.98% guaranteed survival:

3. Macerate Before You Masticate

Smash before you gnash. A big hammer before you bite. Truer words were never spoken here on SOS. Smashed white chocolate tastes just as good as unsmashed white chocolate – and a whole lot better than melted chocolate inhaled while drowning in a giant vat of it inside a haunted chocolate factory.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

4 Million Moon Contest Grand Prize Winner Announcement

Earth survives another blood moon.

Earth survives another blood moon.

Hail Survivors!

After 4 wonderful weeks of contest winners I am pleased to announce the final award winner of the 4 Million Moon Contest.

After tabulating all of the entries from all 4 weeks of the contest to do the draw for the grand prize I had Graham reach into the hat and pull out a name and the winner is…

The Reaper

Congratulations to The Reaper and to all of winners who won prizes in the 4 Million Moon contest.

Thank you to all the survivors who participated in the contest and to all the survivors who have ever visited the site. You are the reason that Graham and I keep on keeping on!

Seth

P.S. Stay tuned for some very important Easter survival tips coming soon.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Earth Survives First of Four Blood Moons, SOS 4 Million Moon Winners Announced

Unless the photos are fake, the jury is in, Earth has officially survived the first blood moon of the so-called Tetrad Event.

Earth survives another blood moon.

Earth survives another blood moon.

While I won’t rule out the fake photo possibility yet, there’s another Tetrad Event here at SOS tonight as the last of the 4 Million Moon Contest Winners will be announced along with one grand prize winner selected. Expect that announcement within in the next two hours. Meanwhile congrats to anyone on Earth who saw the blood moon and survived, including those survivors in Australia, New Zealand and all of the Americas who directly witnessed the epic three hour blood shadow pass over the moon in the wee hours of the morning.

Thanks to everyone who helped celebrate 4 Million Survivors here at SOS by subscribing, emailing, tweeting or generally sharing anything from the site over the last tetrad weeks. Please check below where I will be posting the final prize winners.

It’s been fun for me to look back through the archives to remember a few of the unsung survivors who kept on with SOS back when the site was just beginning. For those hardy survivors, Survival really was its own reward and for that I hail them all tonight!

Speaking of which, time for another 4 Million Moon Memory:

Supermoon Survivors of 2012 

–>> 2012 was a terrifying year with the end of the Mayan calendar due bring about the end of the world until a true Mayan Daykeeper was finally located to plot the next Bak’tun. Add to that there was 3 Friday the 13 events AND a possibly the most supernatural scare of all –  the supermoon eclipse re-opened the void wars  - er Void Wars* –  here on SOS. *If you don’t capitalize Void Wars, it summons Ice who takes that kind of thing personally.

–>> Although MR. MUTT disagrees it should be noted some survivors contend the Void Wars continue as per JERRY9012′s report not 5 days ago. Was this a warning for the blood moon? Has anyone checked the void – er Void – since about 5 am this morning? Did the latest blood moon make another hole? Will fast food restaurants fall as a result of the VOIDMUNKS?

Supermoon Survivors of 2011

–>> A record number of lycanthropes converged on SOS that super moon to comment on STIGMA ‘s campaign to let loose your inner lycan. Actually it wasn’t exactly Stigma, it was Stigma under the control of one of his fractured wolf-selves, the one known as Cinna. Let me back up. Stigma had this condition, where each time he transformed, he became a whole new, different WW. Was it time travel? A cloning experiment? Or a spell? To my knowledge nobody really figured out why, although the closest theory I’ve encountered is the Dyan Werewolf theory. Anyway, the point is, each time a new wolf self was created, it fought to remain. Eventually Stigma gave up fighting it and started a movement here on the site urging other werewolves to stop practicing controlled so-called crib transformations and just roam free on the Supermoon. A mysterious white wolf joined in his effort, probably the first time the White Wolf has actually spoken on the site, although it has appeared to many survivors since then.

–>> Lots of werewolves seemed to agree, but METALLICA FANGIRL campaigned on the other side but despite her best efforts many first time WWs met their first – and last – transformations that night.

Congratulations to Week 4 Four Million Moon Winners
Midnight brings first 4 Million Moon Winners

Midnight brings first 4 Million Moon Winners

 

Week 4 Winners: 

MadSparkles

&

New Bloud

Thanks a million to everyone for keeping on with SOS.

Check back tomorrow night – the last night of the full moon – for The Grand Prize Winner Announcement.

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

This Week In Survival Brings Blood Moon Tetrad, Flying Monkeys and Final 4 Million Moon Winners

The SOS 4 Million Moon Contest comes to a bleeding end with a bang of four bloody moons, as the so-called Blood Moon Tetrad begins here on Tuesday April 15.

Four Blood Moons In a Row to celebrate 4 Million Survivors

Four Blood Moons In a Row to celebrate 4 Million Survivors

Now I can’t claim full credit for making the moon celebrate the number 4 with us here at SOS by lining up a dramatic celestial display of four lunar eclipses in a row. No the credit must be shared with NASA who broke the story here, the Americas for whom all four eclipses will be visible, the Jewish faith, for scheduling the holy days due to coincide with this auspicious event and the planet Mars for lining up with the Earth and Sun.

(Hey does this have anything to do with the Mars light SOS? Hmmmm…. makes you think doesn’t it?)

But what I can claim is this – when the first of four bloody moons rises on April 15, there will be prizes and survivors here, including one grand prize winner.*

So if you haven’t entered the four million moon contest yet, there’s still time. Not much time, mind you but more than enough to pick any one of the easy free ways to enter here before midnight Tuesday night, EST.

*Offer pending continued survival of the Earth in general, you and me in particular and soothsayer  televangelist John Hagee’s expected qualification of his apocryphal prophesy that the tetrad event will usher in the apocalypse.

Until then, check back here as we check in with survivors keeping on keeping on around the globe, starting with:

Warning from Hatter this week

Warning from Hatter this week

Flying Monkeys Ahead:

–>> A note from HATTER who is either tracking the appearance of flying monkeys – or else giving them directions! Unless you are a witch or a flying monkey, you might want to plan an alternate route to Oz this week.

Flying monkey hunters take note, this species is still closely protected and controlled by a council of very crusty witches

Missing Reaper Scythe

–>> An update from BLUESTAR about the REAPER’s missing scythe. To recap – the Reaper has been reclining on the couch working on palindromes of all things, ever since his scythe went MIA in a cataclysmic full moon event. Good news some say for the souls on his revolving list, but likely bad news for the rest of us as a completely unqualified being could be taking up his scythe as we speak….

White Chocolate Bunny Alert

–>> Being myself of the mainly caucasian persuasion, I don’t think it’s racist to remind you the white chocolate bunnies are here, so be prepared. Remember to sleep with a hammer beside your bed on Easter weekend, if you don’t already, because a significant percentage of these trojan Easter confections contain this creepy confection demon lurking inside. What percentage of white chocolate bunnies contain this creeper remains unclear. I hope to clarify the numbers after the blood moon, after conducting my own white chocolate buy and smash test this week. (Last year I made the mistake of bringing my hammer into the stores and let’s just say it didn’t end well.) If you are a bunny nibbler, learn to smash before you gnash! It’s the only way to scare the spirit away.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

This Week In Survival April 05, 2014 Brings Week 3 of Prizes

With Easter on the way, I was personally relieved to learn this week about Starbucks supernatural symbols and triple-filtered holy water.

Reminder from Kurogane to stock up.

Reminder from Kurogane to stock up before it’s too late.

Between that and a good sledge hammer, I’m ready to survive a visit from the spirit of Easter.  I’m referring of course to the Easter bunny ghost who hides inside virtually every hollow white chocolate Easter bunny. 

(And if you haven’t read this important Easter warning from ?WOLF  yet, I urge you to read it now before it’s too late.)

I was also relieved to read about a new company in Singapore launching a website capable of selling me an iTunes card on Monday. I’m sure SoTM KUROGANE who has been very patient with this situation, will be relieved as well.

Speaking of which, if it’s This Week In Survival, then it must be time for some Week #3 Winners in the Four Million Moon Contest. Thanks to everyone who entered this week. It’s all 100% free of charge and obligation. Every little click, comment, review and follow helps me keep on keeping on. If you haven’t entered already, there’s still technically time. Just follow the link above and pick one of roughly 4 million easy ways to do it. We’ll start going through the emails and comments now, putting the names in the hat  - and summarize and/or reply where possible –  before announcing the next two winners at midnight, EST.

4 Million Moon Winners This Week:

THE DRAW IS DONE FOR THIS WEEK. GO HERE TO ENTER NOW FOR THE NEXT SATURDAY DRAW:

Midnight brings first 4 Million Moon Winners
Midnight brings 4 Million Moon Winners

WEEK 3 WINNERS ARE… oddly enough:

WOLFBLOOD

WOLF

…who are not the same person, although likely a similar species.

Thanks to everyone for keeping on with SOS.

Survive out there and see you soon, I hope.

4 MILLION MOON MEMORY: 

–>> Speaking of ?WOLF, the same wild werewolf who liked to wake up in a spiderweb hammock but not in an alien zoo could control the wind and taste the color blue! What does blue taste like, you wonder? Me too. Lick the sky and find out. Anyway, she used to stop by SOS to offer very brief but valuable advice, including one of my favourite Easter warnings about the danger of white chocolate Easter bunnies. How could I have missed that? I mean really. White chocolate? So obviously oxymoronic it could only have been created by a demonic entity like an evil Easter spirit. And why else would Easter bunnies be hollow anyway? Thanks to ?WOLF my eyes were opened to the danger of these trojan Easter confections and how to deal with them – this Easter remember, smash before you taste.

–>> And on the topic of Easter warnings, anyone remember HELPINGFELLA?  who lived up to his name with this photo reminder of a psycho Easter bunny spotted some two million survivors ago. Get a good look because this nut could be out again this year delivering Easter baskets and chainsaws.

OF PENTAGRAMS ON INSTAGRAM:

–>> Pentagrams demonic or no? Thanks to all the survivors who weighed in on the this, from MR. MUTT to MADSPARKLES to FENRIR. 

–>>I think we can all agree that whatever the esteemed history and real meaning of this symbol, there are in fact many demon kind who like to use it, in ways both good and evil, maybe precisely because humans misunderstand it. This misunderstanding gives it great power. (Just look at how many free lattes  Meghan Pinion got for her tasty pentagram. How powerful is that?) And remember the history of LILITH  and VELANKO?

SEEKING MUCK FLOUNDER & MERMAIDS:

–>> BLACK LAGOON is back looking for muck flounder substitutes and mermaids but how did he end up on land?And does he really look like this?

EASY SPELLS ANYONE?

–>> MSURPRISE is looking but is there really any such thing? Is it as easy as Ms. MadSparkles once claimed? Isn’t there always a cost. 

THANKS MR. MUTT

–>>For this reminder. For those who don’t know, SOS really is maintained by me, one guy, with the help of one buddy, and occasionally a few other dedicated survivors, including all of you. Not a big company – or a company at all. Our survival takes supernatural effort. And I’m grateful to everyone who contributes, even if I don’t always show it at the right time. That’s why we do these contests on every full moon Survivor of the Month and every million survivors or so. It’s a small way to say thanks for now and we hope someday to be more.

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com