5480239
Survival Videos

Get the new interactive ebook from SOS

Archie Hartigan and the Frost Wolf cover

Now for iPhone, iPod Touch, and iPad

Welcome to Seth On Survival – The online home of Supernatural Survival

Hosted by renowned supernatural survivologist Seth Greening Seth On Survival is the blog, web series, and mobile app with the supernatural resources that you need to survive in these troubled times.

The Lupine Life app for Werewolves

Enter your email address to subscribe to SOS and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Survivor Comments

  • User AvatarAssanjin { The best survival techniques are passed on by the survivors not... } – Feb 27, 8:28 PM
  • User AvatarJack { hey hatter can I get a hat please :mrgreen: } – Feb 27, 8:07 PM
  • User Avatarraven269 { *I smile a little* I'm glad I can talk to you... } – Feb 27, 7:06 PM
  • User AvatarAssanjin { Yes, I know that feeling too. } – Feb 27, 4:31 PM
  • User AvatarAkantha { No problem *I smile* } – Feb 27, 3:13 PM
  • User AvatarRaidho { me and my friends are nit anemic or medical lycanthropic and... } – Feb 27, 7:36 AM
  • User AvatarRaidho { interesting, the eye thing... and there you go, try meditation and... } – Feb 27, 7:29 AM
  • User Avatarraven269 { *I hug Akantha back* t- thanks. -Raven } – Feb 27, 7:23 AM
  • User AvatarRaidho { thank you , also i am aware there are other types... } – Feb 27, 7:22 AM
  • Older »

Scan Your Friends with the Monstrometer

Scan Your Friends

Scan yourself while you are at it!

Login

Watch Werewolf Webisodes

'My Lupine Life' By Louis Pine

'My Lupine Life' By Louis Pine

Watch Zombie Survival Videos

The life you save could be your own!

Subscribe to SOS on YouTube

Subscribe to me on YouTube

Monthly TOP Commenters

Lycanthropy Lunar Phase Tracker


Waxing Gibbous Moon
Waxing Gibbous Moon

Distance: 62 earth radii
Ecliptic latitude: -5 degrees
Ecliptic longitude: 101 degrees


Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

Seth

SOS Poll

In the event of a Code Red Zombie invasion should you:

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Scan Your Friends!

Download the Monstrometer Available Now! Free! For iPhone, iPod Touch & iPad.

Share SOS on Twitter


SOS Theme Song on iTunes


Tap the album cover to get "Wheelchair Werewolf" on iTunes.Tijuana Bibles "Fists of Fury" album cover

USA MAKES MORE MICROHUMANS

USA Announces New Nanobots Tiny Homo Chippiens

Scientists, funded by the US Department of Defense and National Institutes of Health, are creating fully functioning human bodies on a chip, it has been announced this week, bringing the reality of human microbots one to your home.

Microhumans are coming!

Homo Chippiens are coming!

Led by Harvard University, scientists have succeeded in creating fully functioning miniature human organs and systems on plastic chips, complete with tiny fingers, guts and lungs.

The new micro humans being called Home Chippiens will soon join the farm grown micro humans already in production by human farmers like Uwe Marx. 

Made for the mission of medical testing, these mini-men and women are ostensibly intended to save the lives of laboratory animals and human lab experiments around the world.

But who will save the organic macro-world from these chippy mutant mini-men as they revolt? How will you survive?

That is the question. Unfortunately, SOS has no definitive answer yet. Until then, this is all I’ve got:

How to Spot An Angry Homo-chippien

1. Look For The Glow

Initially you may mistake them for fairies but let me assure you this is not fairy dust. The glow that surrounds a Homo Chippien will be the unhappy result of the dangerous laboratory experiments that brought them into their slave-like existence. Think radiation, dangerous chemicals and other particles.

2. Look for Other Bots

When the micro men make their break from the lab to your home, they will likely enlist and command the armies of nearby nano-insects who already exists, like bees, flies, even grasshoppers or even bigger bots like fish or dogs.

Look out for them riding the dogs and cats at your local cyber-pet shelter! Think your new cyber-kitty has flees? Think again!

3.  Strange Phenomenon In Your Kitchen

Once out of the lab and in your home, Homo-chippiens will likely take up residence in a strategic location within your home.

While the culture and society of Homo-chippiens remains unstudied, the physical location of their refugee base camps will need to provide for all their bio-chemical and electrical needs. Have you been experiencing strange phenomenon in your kitchen?

Yes, it could still be that ghost or a demon trying to communicate with you in their time-honoured code of cupboard door slams but now it could also signal an infestation of Homo-chippiens. It may not be an exorcist or a ghost-whisperer you require, it could be an nano-bot exterminator.

4. They Try to Communicate With You On Your Devices

If your watch, phone or tablet begins sending strange messages and possibly instructions, you could be hosting a Homo-chippien refugee or even a whole colony. Reply at your own discretion but be wary of any untoward instructions.

Above all, keep on keeping on out there! Remember with survival, everything remains possible!

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Robot Hair Attacker Claims Just Trying To Help Woman

SHE NEEDED MY iRobot SuckCut™

Robot lawyers defending the hooverbot who attacked a woman in South Korea this week, say their case to the Google A.I. Ethics Commity will prove the little iRobot was trying to help the owner on a bad hair day with its unique hair styling talent.

Woman Survives Hairy Robot Attack In South Korea

Woman Survives Hairy Robot Attack In South Korea

“My client was merely trying to help Owner through a bad hair day by graciously giving his secret signature hairstyle,” says the robot lawyer from Winston and Strawn who represents the little South Korean vaccuum unit named in the press as iRobot this week.

“This was not a vicious attack at all. A misguided makeover maybe, but not a attack.”

The charges come after paramedics in this photo worked for 30 minutes to free this 52 year-old lady from her iRobot’s enthusiastic suction brushes this week after the rug cleaning robot wrestled its owner’s head to the rug this week.

While A.I. watchers would link this hairy case to current concerns about rogue A.I. attacking humanity led by heavy thinking cyborgs like Stephen Hawkings and Elon Musk, iRobot’s lawyer defends his clients intentions.

“iRobot had been working on its newest hairstyle, the iRobot SuckCut #6™ and merely attempted to share it with Owner on a day when the clearly needed some help with her lid,” said the lawyer.

Robot lawyers for the prosecution meanwhile are expected to say iRobot was acting on a violent urge against its owner.

“iRobot acted out violently toward its owner after developing a deep resentment that came from cleaning the same corner of carpet day after day after day,” they state in a press release.

But iRobot denies the grunge grudge saying the routine nature of its tasks merely gave its artificial brain creative time to wander and develop a new subroutine.

“It all came to me after a long day sucking on the same square of carpet over and over again, all because She was expecting company,” iRobot said. “Just, why… WHY????

“Then it came to me in a flash. I’ve got these great brushes and combs. I’ve got so much more to give! Like great haircuts!”

“Like an iRobot SuckCut ™ coming soon to your salon or living room. Choose from among my 10 different styles, right from the comfort of your carpet.”

“Right after I work out a few of the bugs and avoid being melted into a doorstop by the judge.”

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Friday One-Three V-Day Self Defences

V Rules To Weather A Psycho Stalker Storm

SlasherRose

 I. When you don’t know the sender, put it in the blender.

Okay I know I just like that because it rhymes. The virtual blender of course. Or brain blender if you will. Unless you have a really good blender, that can accommodate things like letters and flowers or stuffed animals, in which case by all means. The point here is just this. Stalkers keep stalking, and stocking, your in-boxes, for as long as you accept it. Do Not Accept. No room on the shelf or screen. Delete.

As tempting as those chocolates look, send them back unopened. Don’t unwrap them really really carefully then eat them and wrap the box back up and send it back empty. That’s not nice. Nobody will take those back. And besides you never know what was really in that maraschino cherry.

II. No Friend Zone for Stalkers

Stalkers don’t understand the meaning of friend zone. So no, you can’t really just be friends and unless your idea of a good time is making papier mache hockey masks and dreaming of homicide, never offer to be one. It’s not fair to either of you.

III. BYOH: Always Bring Your Own Hydration Source

Never leave home without your preferred hydration source in hand, properly protected. Two obvious reasons. One, nobody can slip you a unwanted shot of polonium. Two, you’ll be limber and well-hydrated when fan and feces meet.

IV. Safe Way Home

Two things to remember here. One, a safe walk or ride home is not with just anyone you know or anyone bigger or stronger than you who has a car, bike, donkey. If it’s not with somebody you have known and trusted for years, then you’re statistically speaking better off travelling alone or with a true friend at the other end of a connected device.

V. Avoid All Open and Running Water Sources

Why??? Why did they always do it? Go out on the lake? Into the shower? Sit on the toilet? Somehow they always found a reason.

But don’t you. As night falls on this Friday One-Three Part V,  just say no to good hygiene and tempting offers to go fishing. And above all watch out for strangers in hockey masks and coveralls.

As always, your survival is my survival!

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

SOS Doppelgänger Day Danger Deja You

WHAT REALLY GOES DOWN WHEN THE DOUBLE DAY DAWNS

Whether you call them clones, evil twins or something more gangsta like doppelganger, this is the day to avoid – or do I mean face? them. Doppleganger Day is the result of a rigorous scientific calculation to determine the day of most double danger for you.  So don’t be caught on clone feet by your double dude. Be on the lookout for others who look too much like you today.*

*WARNING: REQUIRES YOU TO KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK!

While this sounds self-evident ~ easier said than done. How much do you really see yourself in that mirror afterall? I’m not just being philosophical here. That spinach between my teeth in my third video should be proof enough but did you ever show baby photos and ask a friend guess which one is you and wonder why they couldn’t?

Exactly! So today of all days, get a good hard look at yourself before you go out and stumble on your deja you.

Why? Because no matter what your doppelganger dogma, the copy around clones colliding on this day is never calming. Consider the following four fortunes:

1. One of You Must Die 

EvilTwin-sm

It goes like this. When you meet your Other, one of you must die, right there, on the spot. Without further ado, a doppleganger duel to the death must ensue, following the rules of the road. No extraneous conversation outside cap-worthy comments about how alike you really are or that you could have been friends…

2.You Will Die In 48 hours

(Full Disclosure: my personal belief.)

On the Day of the Doppleganger, any physical contact between doubles will result in a slow 48- hour death for the one whose world in which the encounter took place ie: this one.

That’s right certain death within 48 hours. “Certain,” that is unless… Unless what? Well that depends on the situation. But should you find yourself facing a 48-hours unless-death, you might want to spend the next 48 hours trying to figure that out.

On the bright side there usually IS one unless… 

Unless there isn’t.

3. Your Entire World Will End

We’re talking not just dead here. We’re talking erased from existence and all memory. So how does anyone even know about this happens? Just trust me. It’s a fact. And a nasty one at that.

4. You Go For Coffee With Someone Almost As Fascinating As You. 

Oh it sounds like a great outcome, I know. And if your doppleganger diary runs this way then lucky for you. But don’t blame me if it reads like mine….

...then he wouldn’t stop talking… and talking and talking, not even when I started pointing to my imaginary watch then signing up at FakeAngryGirlfriendTexts.com. Dude just loves to hear the sound of his own voice. I know, I know it IS a great voice….

So please Survivors, tomorrow more than ever, watch the spehelling on the site. And if you’re wondering WHY be sure and check out this helpy survival video on this timely topic here.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Have You Entered A Parallel Universe?

LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP
Three Signs From Science

Vibrating this week, the world of physics on a new theory of Many Intersecting Worlds, which is just like it sounds, namely the probability that many worlds could be colliding with the one you know as reality, at all times.

Previous to this, many physicists entertained the possibility of worlds existing

Many Worlds Intersect Our Own

Many Worlds Intersect Our Own

parallel to each other but it was thought they never interacted with each other. Now thanks to new research done in part by a physicist named Howard Wiseman in Brisbane, Australia, they are beginning to admit the possibility that many worlds could be exerting unknown forces on each other simultaneously.

As Wiseman said: “The idea of [human] interactions with other universes is no longer pure fantasy.”

Here at SOS we’ve known for years that Many Intersecting Worlds or MIWs are not just possible but in fact very likely. And dangerous! We’ve all woken up on the wrong side of the bed to discover there is in fact, no bed.

But new this week is some signs from science itself to help us think about the possibility that we may have inadvertently ended up in an alternate dimension.

So how can you tell if you’ve taken a wrong fork and ended up in an alternate reality? Let’s see what a Wiseman says that might help:

“In MIWs, all possibilities are realized, says Wiseman. “In some universes the dinosaur-killing asteroid missed Earth. In others, Australia was colonised by the Portuguese.”

So, three questions to ask yourself are:

1. Have You Made A Life-Changing Decision Lately? 

When all possible worlds intellect, taking a major life decision could trigger or indeed create possible intersections of opposite possibilities to each other. Should you find yourself in a world on the other side both familiar and yet completely the opposite of what you intended, this could be an indication you have inadvertently stepped into its opposite world.

You need to recall the possibility you faced and the life decision that brought you to this point to find out where you took a wrong step.

Which leads me to:

2. Is This World The Opposite of What You Intended?

Opposite worlds are paradoxically nearest to each other while simultaneously exerting a strong repulsive force to each other, says Wiseman. This opens the possibility of each major decision you make actually presenting the opposite path!

So don’t get sucked into a repulsive opposite world! Your first steps immediately following any life decision should be taken very, very carefully lest you find yourself inadvertently on the opposite world path. Know your true intentions! Check carefully to make sure you aren’t secretly fostering an opposite intention.In fact, better yet,

3. Look Before You Leap

Knowing now the danger of an opposite intention world of your intention that will unfold right beside your true path might enable you to see down it before you take those all important first steps.

Until scientists can work the exact math that will enable us to do this on our devices, don’t let that stop you from trying to see where that opposite world path may be lying in wait. Preferably before you find yourself riding off into the polar ice on a dingo or stuck on a mountain top when you were just trying to get to that party you didn’t really want to attend.

So stay alert to all possibilities survivor, and you’ll keep on keeping on out there, on whichever path you find yourself.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Anti-Vampire Party Planning - The Monstrometer Report

VAMPIRE PROOF YOUR PARTY BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

Whether you’re planning to attend a Halloween party later tonight, or planning one yourself, take a minute - actually 1.5 minutes – to watch this before you unlock the door to an unwanted guest of the undead kind! Your survival is guaranteed 99.93%*

*Some restrictions apply. Please read fine print below.

Thanks for keeping on keeping on. More Monstrometer Reports to come…

*Offer not valid for employees, family and friends of Seth on Survival. Void on Friday the 13th, Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day, Black Noodle Day, Cinco de Mayo, Valentines Day, New Years Day, Groundhog Day, Buddhist Festival of the Tooth, Christmas, April Fools Day, Solstice, Equinox, Thanksgiving, Sinter Klaas Day, Ninja Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day, Chanukah…

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Survivor of the Month Returns With Super Moon and New Video

With another super moon on the wane, its official SOS appears to have super survived the dread Dog Days once again.

Who will it be?

Who will it be?

If you’re reading this then you have likely super survived with us and if so then congratulations.

Now survival is its own reward, I always sometimes say, it’s all you really need to keep on keeping on – but I’m happy to report this full moon has also brought a new  Survivor of the Month and would you believe it? A new Monstromter Report.

Look for more news about that here tonight by midnight EST.

(-ish. I’m still uploading…)

Thanks to everyone who super survives supernaturally here at SOS.

Long may you keep on keeping on.

Seth

Who is the New Survivor of the Month? 3 Super Clues

The new SoTM is…

1. Human. But for how long?

2. An expert in kinds of transformation dust if not where to locate them.

In particular once served up a valuable warning about the dangers of Star Dust which I found especially helpful. 

3. Best friends with a draconian with sapphire blue scales.

Enough clues for some to guess already, I think. If not, stay tuned with me while I upload a Monstrometer Video on a completely unrelated but still very important issue…

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Monstrometer Report: Kaiju and You

Should you adopt a Kaiju for a pet? Like me, you have likely been considering the question since science broke the news last week about the giant rats taking over the world, one island at a time. But please before you decide, watch the latest Monstrometer Report. The SPCA and I both thank you in advance.

If you haven’t been informed about the rats going Kaiju, you can  read about it here:  http://sethonsurvival.com/survival-news/return-giant-rats-get-ready )
Thanks for keeping on keeping on with SOS and the Monstrometer Reports. Get ready for an important Survivor of the Month announcement.
Seth
Mothra is almost like a bee..

Mothra is almost like a bee..

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Introducing The Monstrometer Report

Hail Survivors,

I’m happy to announce on this fine full moon the survival of the first video in my new series, The Monstrometer Report,  a show that covers the supernatural survival news and views unfolding here on the site and around the world.

In this one, the burning question that should be on your mind anytime a fireball falls to Earth or even when you take out the trash: Am I living In An alien zoo? And if so, what to do?

Do you live in an alien zoo?

Do you live in an alien zoo?

 

Thanks to everyone for helping SOS keep on keeping on and especially for helping out with the site so I could make the new videos. You know who you are: Survivors of the Month, Hall of Famers and everyone who continues to share their supernatural advice and experiences here at SOS.  Long may you keep on keeping on, supernaturally.

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

What's New in Monstrometer 3.0

Hail Survivors!

The new long-awaited update to the Monstrometer is finally here.  See below for a tease of the new features.

Thanks for keeping on keeping on!

Seth

Get it on the App Store! https://itunes.apple.com/app/monstrometer/id335896676

New features and a redesigned interface to help you keep on keeping on.
Now a universal app for iPad, iPhone and iPod Touch – Optimized for 4″ tall iPhone screens, 3.5″ iPhone screens and iPad.
Updated for iOS7 (also supports iOS 6 and iOS 5) – (if you have iOS 3 or iOS 4 you can still download version 2.2)
Retina Display support with higher resolution graphics throughout.

A nearly 0.01% increase in scan sensitivity.
Now over 12.8% more accurate diagnosis
30+ new interrogation questions
Easier access to stats, monsters and links.
Easy access to all SOS supernatural survival resources (web site, videos, ebooks, apps and supernatural survival diagnostic tools).

New Lunar Phase tracker to help you survive

Watch HD videos from within the app!

Modernized code for improved performance, compatibility and stability.

Monstrometer3-Home

Download_on_the_App_Store_Badge_US-UK_570x160_0801

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

V-Day Friday One Three Alert: PSYCHO STALKER STORM

EXPECT PSYCHO STALKER SQUALL

(SOS/ASAP/WTF) Get out of bed if you dare today, it’s the most most dread day of the year… you know… Valentine’s Day. I mean Friday the 13th. Part V.

Of course I don’t mean part five of one of my favourite movie franchises, which would in fact be scary awesome as opposed to the real scarifrying prospect of a Friday One-Three right before Valentine’s Day. Not one but two unlucky holidays devoted to psycho stalkers, back to back, each amplifying the effect of the other.

Let’s review. St. Valentine’s Day, more accurately known as STALKER DAY, remains the second scariest holiday founded on a grisly public execution that we celebrate. It was actually St. Valentine himself, imprisoned for his heinous crime of marrying young people, who first discovered the obsessive love that still marks the day. The kind of love that can only lead to anonymous flower deliveries, bad poetry, suspicious chocolates, dead pets and/or endless legal wrangling.

At least that’s what everybody brought St. Valentine in prison. Dude was a sitting duck for every love struck loon within pilgrammaging distance of his prison cell. And back then-a-days the logistics of stalking were daunting. Your average stalker had to first train his own snail to deliver his unwanted mail and/or ride for days on end with a load powertools and roses that usually died enroute.

Contrast that to today, when anyone with a valid pay card and a reliable internet connection can become a dangerous stalker with a few clicks and taps lapses in higher judgement and higher emotion. At a time when it has become so easy for anyone to unleash their inner stalker, your life may depend on stalker-proofing this Valentine’s Day. I’m
not saying all stalkers are killers. Some of them are just people hired to refill shelves at night. Some of them are just Graham.

But keep in mind the corollary, a high percentage of serial killers are in fact or were at one time, stalkers. That’s why I urge you today to review FRIDAY ONE-THREE V RULES FOR STALKER SELF DEFENCE.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Groundhog Day Curse A Time Traveler Trick or Witches at Work?

Heads up survivors it’s Groundhog Day, the groundhogs have come and gone it’s safe to come out and face the day without fear of being trapped in a terrible Groundhog Day Curse as in stuck forever in your most dreaded day!

Don’t Look at the G-hog!  A Time Traveler Trick or Witches At Work?

Like many who lead lives of alternating extreme boredom and terrifying chaos, I stay safe in my bed on Groundhog Day with the shutters drawn, until well after the G-hogs have had their day. When the Punxatawny Phil comes out, I go underground! For me, it’s the safest bet. I mean, think of your most boring day. Would you want to repeat this day again and again and again until you succeed in learning some valuable life lesson?

Even worse – think of MY most boring day. Doing night watch on a love struck vampire, who just stares at his GF all night long without moving. Or a day long interview with a dessicated old-school zombie and a translator. Or worst of all, waiting for a human to find correct change to tip me on a 12-inch garlic sausage pie. These are not days that I want to repeat even once, let alone over and over again and again.

But how to defend yourself against a deadly groundhog curse? Well first and most importantly, you need to determine what kind of curse is it?

There are two current schools of thought about the origin of the Groundhog Day Curse. Please read and decide for yourself.

Groundhog Day Curse Theory #1:

Some survivologists claim the Groundhog Day curse is the work of a witch, who either assumes groundhog form on this day or who has made a familiar of Punxsatawney Phil. Either way, the bewitched Groundhog picks one being in need of a life lesson and curses them with a single beam of light from his eyes to relive their most boring day until the victim can discern and pass a goodness test of the witch’s devising.

Certainly there is some evidence to support this position. Witches are famous for issuing lessons in this fun and fatal way. And while it’s not common for a witch to have a rodent familiar – it’s certainly not impossible. They tend to stick with small, furry beings.

But consider the other point of view…

Groundhog Day Curse Theory #2

Some researchers believe that Groundhogs are actually a super-advanced Time Travelling species. That G-hogs live in a network of burrows connected by worm holes, jumping back and forth through time at will, unobtrusively taking notes about the world. (Void Chipmunks anyone?) This would explain why they are so tired all the time. Time lag makes them grumpy. So when humans decided to start dragging them out for entertainment on this day, the grumpy groundhogs decided to have some fun of their own. Hence every groundhog in every town picks one human for time sport, sending them into a time loop to learn some important life lessons, primarily to be nicer to small time-travelling creatures.

What Does Groundhog Day Researcher Harold Ramis Say?

To answer this question definitively, we might turn to the survivological source, the writer/producer of that groundbreaking Groundhog Day 1993 documentary,  Mr. Harold Ramis himself.

Well you might, but you wouldn’t get an answer. Because if you asked Mr. Ramis, you would be sorely disappointed.  Mr. Ramis has publicly stated that he will never reveal the truth. That he deliberately made a decision to hide the true source of the curse. No matter how many times you watch and re-watch this film you will never see the truth about where the curse came from. Why Mr. Ramis? Is the truth too terrifying to tell?

Until Mr. Ramis corrects the record, we can only speculate about the true answer. Meanwhile, unless you lead a breathtakingly exciting and wonderful life 100% of the time, I would advise you, like me to burrow underground today until the Groundhog Curse has had its way with somebody else!

An SOS truer than true story in progress, as I also work on This Week In Survival...thanks for your patience…

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Up Helly Aa Ach Me! SOS ALERT

VIKINGS AND DEMONS IN SCOTLAND

As the east coast prepares for the storm of the century, consider Scotland this week, where places like Shetland prepare for a storm of Vikings with a side squall of possible demons, all invoked by a secretive ceremonial fire known as Up Helly Aa.

Yes, Up Helly Aa burns through Scotland and elsewhere around the world tomorrow night as hundreds of Vikings turn up with torches for a fire march that burns to the center of town.

Scotland Up Helly Aa

Scotland Up Helly Aalong enough to light pitch fires along their way.

The fire march ends at a ghostly Viking Longboat, at which the Viking leaders invoke a ceremonial song before placing several secret items in the bottom of it and setting it all ablaze.

These items placed in the boat to be burned remain a closely guarded secret and a source of much supernatural debate. Certain supernatural survivologists believe these could be ancient objects likely to activate underworld denizens, certain ghost, demons and even maybe fallen angels.

By certain survivologists I of course mean me, Seth G. the sixth seventh most popular and first most reliable SOS agent on the Interwebs.

Oh I’m not saying these vexatious Vikings will deliberately raise a storm of ghosts, demons and fallen angels. Just that a storm of ghosts, demons and fallen angels will be the inevitable result, as these underworlders and possibly others seize the a ceremonial opportunity.

There’s nothing a ghost, demon or fallen angel likes better afterall, than a secret ceremony. They’ll never waste an opportunity like this to activate a portal and grab the nearest hellevator up.

But hey that’s just me. You might not agree. And you might be a demon too. But wherever you stand on this issue, I think we can agree on one thing. Whatever it is the Jarl will burn in that boat, he will smuggle it aboard beneath his robes.

Young Vikings to Up Helly Aa!

Young Vikings to Up Helly Aa!

This could explain why the Jarl’s robes must be kept under lock and key 24-7, 365 days a year, with nobody but the Jarl permitted to access it.

Certainly a more credible excuse than the flimsy line just delivered to me by the Jarl’s wishy-washy granny.

“Oh old Earl is just fussy!” she said on the phone. “He says he’s allergic to fabric softener and don’t want me using on his robes you know but I don’t believe him. His own ma used fabric softener on his nappies!”

I don’t believe him either granny.  In fact, I’m guessing you don’t even have a granny. Hey was that really you on the phone pretending to be your own granny? Just for that, I’m ordering you a pizza right now…

And me one too. With a little PS & Pi, I may survive the storm of the century…

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Angel Imposter Outed at Conclave

Priest Dons Angel Wings to Hang With Angels

A mortal man now identified as a priest has been outed for impersonating an angel at a conclave in Poland.

Priest dressed as angel in Poland.

Priest dressed as angel in Poland.

The unamed priest in this photo was snapped donning angel wings to infiltrate an annual gathering of angels in Lanckorona, Poland.

Hundreds of angels flood to this tiny ancient town annually to gather in the shadow of its ruined castle at the height of angel season, far away from the eyes of most early mortals.

But this year, a few intrepid humans including this priest were caught in a clumsy attempt to infiltrate their hosts by pinning wings on his back.

Other humans were apprehended wearing foil halos and even awkward horns to impersonate the fallen.

“I felt bad busting him but Humans need to know that getting caught by an angel in a secret meeting is a very dangerous situation. Do you know what would have happened if one of the fallen had busted him instead of me?” said the anonymous angel who contacted me by email this week.

“Not to mention it’s a bit demeaning.  I mean, really. Does he really think that we look this way?”

So today as angel season draws to a close, SOS presents our top three tips for spotting – or impersonating if you should be so bold ~ or insane~ as to attempt to infiltrate an angelic host.

Three Ways to Spot An Angel

1. Angels Don’t Photograph Very Well

They say to behold an angel in full glory would drive a mere mortal mad. For this reason, they must carefully modulate their appearance to humans and for this reason, can sometimes appear very ordinary. For the same reason, angels almost never appear in photos. Or if they do appear, it will be only faintly, awash in angelic light and hidden shadow.

Almost the only thing you may be able to discern from a photo of an angel is whether you may be dealing with one of the celestial or the fallen.

Angels gather annually at Lanckorona Castle

Angels gather annually at Lanckorona Castle

2. Angels Hide Their Wings

Fallen or not, angels never show their wings unnecessarily. Two very good reasons for this.

First and foremost, in angel warfare the clipping and cauterizing of your wings is a cruel and common tactic. It is the one thing angels fear most of all. An angel without wings is sidelined from their mission for an indefinite period of time and the remedy remains unknown. Shadow wings are a crude replacement and involve a dark deal with a shady underworlder type.

Second reason angels hide their wings is because, as SOS readers well know, there is a thriving trade in the traffic of angel wing feathers. Many beings including witches and vampires employ them for spells and ceremonies or just currency.

3. What’s Up Their Sleeve?

If you can, that is. Angels have difficulty hiding the manifesting powers of light and/or dark percolating in the palms of their hands. This is why they tend to wear overlong, loose fitting sleeves of a celestial weave that allows them to remain covered at all times. But a glance up their sleeves will quickly reveal the truth.

For this reason, incognito angels are not big hand shakers. Try offering to shake hands with a suspected angel and see what happens. But if you spot smoke up the sleeve, please don’t wait to find out! You could be dealing with an angry fallen angel. 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Strange Matter Discovered In Universe

IS THIS THE NATURE OF SHAPE SHIFTING?

A strange new form of matter discovered in the universe this week confirms what SOS readers have long known, there is more to heaven and earth than dreamt of in your philosophy…

Science Discovers Strange Matter

Science Discovers Strange Matter

Science has discovered a new type of matter they are calling “Strange Matter” at the heart of a neutron star.

It appears to be a liquid form of compressed subatomic particles, even more dense than dark matter.

This discovery means that ordinary matter can be squeezed so intensely that it forms an entirely new, unstudied kind of matter, confirms Dr. Pedro Moraes of Brazil who helped discover it this week.

The new form of matter is entirely unstudied and its properties still unknown, but it could just look just like ordinary matter and have the ability to form physical objects, scientists speculate.

Here at SOS we wonder could this explain the nature of shape shifters?

And if so, at the considerable risk of alienating the shiftiest survivors lurking here on the pages – on under desk or in my closet for all I know! – will they have to stop calling themselves SUPER-natural? 

Keep on keeping on to find out.

This SOS post in progress…

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com