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Hosted by renowned supernatural survivologist Seth Greening Seth On Survival is the blog, web series, and mobile app with the supernatural resources that you need to survive in these troubled times.

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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!


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Town Terrorized by Lutins Perilous Peppermint Tree To Pacify Populace

Town terrorized by lutins who pacified the populace with a perilous peppermint fairy fruit tree

Peppermint tree pacified town

Peppermint tree pacified town

SOS alert the besieged town of St. Elie, Quebec has officially fallen to the lutin forces who first pacified the unwitting populace with a perilous peppermint fruit tree.

 When this innocent-looking tree first appeared in a forested St. Elie park some five years ago, the town hailed the appearance of its soft pink, sweet and spicy fruit, harvesting and consuming it in copious quantities, blissfully unaware of the nefarious effect of eating fae foods.

The whole Internet celebrated with St. Elie, trumpeting the reappearance of a real peppermint tree in story after story about the economic impact on this formerly sleepy town. Nobody seemed concerned about the real consequences…

Now five years later, these consequences become clear. The lutins have landed and a town is over run by feckless fae making a magical mint from folks who flock from around the globe to taste and see the magical fruit of the miracle St. Elie peppermint tree.

Signs of the town’s defeat hang everywhere you look. From special lutin-only crosswalks to lutin-run restaurants and hotels, it’s clear the population of St. Elie now lives in pacified servitude to their wee overlords.

Don’t let this happen where you live! Be on the lookout for any suspicious trees in your neighbourhood.

Town defeated by Lutins

Town falls to fae fruit of Lutins Peppermint Tree.

Never seen a fairy tree? No problem. Count yourself among the lucky survivors. But please, review the following before it’s too late for you and your town.

How to ID a Fairy Tree: 

1. Unusual Fruit

While not a scientific term yet, unusual is the best way to describe fae fruit which comes in many shapes, colors and sizes.

But that’s just part of the magic that makes it so appealing. Terrestrial fruits take time to grow and ripen, from flower to small fruit, growing over a predictable time frame to a larger size and deeper color that is more or less uniform.

Fae fruit, by contrast appears overnight with bright colors, often mixed or swirly, fully-formed and sometimes even fully wrapped as in the case of St. Elie. This makes harvesting it from the ground below that much easier, not to mention it can last forever on a shelf.

2. Makes You Want MORE

Faery fruit like all fae foods is magically designed to make you eat more and more AND mooooore AND MOOOOORE…

You get the idea. While fruit of the terrestrial realm will eventually fill you up and switch a stop-light in your brain, fairy fruit will never do this. In fact the opposite occurs. Think of it as sending a flashing neon-yellow GO-GO-GO-TIME-IS-RUNNING-OUT signal. T

3. The Real Magical Fruit

Those feckless fae have learned a lot since the days when they relied on beans to trap their prey…

(Except for giants. Giants are slow to change and many of them still go around trying to trade magic beans for livestock. Yes, the smartest giants have switched to jelly beans but even they have difficulty finding humans willing to accept them in exchange for a cow.)

…the point here is the fruit of a fairy tree is spelled. Spelled to do what? Oh, only to enslave you in one or more terrifying ways. What terrifying way? Just depends on which kind of fae you are facing and their needs. You could end up a fairy farm hand, amassing sweet mints for sale at exorbitant prices in a tourist town for lutin overlords or licking lollipops to generate power to a leprechaun shoe factory.

4. Fairy Fruit is First One Free

Again, except for the giants. See above. The fae of today give the first fruits away for free or nearly free, to rope you in and get you hooked. But very soon you will find there is a price. With leprechauns and lutins, that price will often be money, more and more of it as your appetite for more and better grows. But with other elvish and mixed magical beings and associated underworld-y types, the price can be much steeper. Like what? Oh, only your soul. Your memories. Your feelings. Little things like that.

5. Fairy Farmers Never Eat Their Own Fruit

Need more proof? Find a fairy farmer and offer them a fae fruit. Will they eat it? Ah no. Never. Not in your lifetime. They’ll do everything in their power to not consume it. They’ll sniff it and cut it and cook it and stack it and make buildings and even entire cities out of it but you will never ever see them eat it. That’s because even the fae are not immune to spells from other fae. And nobody is more suspicious than they.

Don’t let the lutins and leprechauns lord over you! Keep your community fae fruit free this summer. Alert the site if you spot a fairy tree in your land and SOS will send a herbicidal service STAT – first one is free.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com


Giant intelligent aliens could see Earth as an insect colony, says science this week.

Could it be true? Are Earthlings the ants in a universe of giant aliens? If so how will you and your colony survive the coming alien exterminators?

Is Earth a giant insect colony?

Is Earth a giant insect colony?

First here’s the new science. Most intelligent aliens weigh more than 661 pounds or more than 300 kilos and likely stand nine feet tall, says scientist Dr. Fergus Simpson.


“Larger biospheres will host a wider range of species and a greater number of individual life-forms. For these reasons it seems highly likely that larger biospheres possess a greater probability of producing an intelligent species. This reinforces our conclusion that most life bearing planets are smaller than the Earth.

Throughout the animal kingdom, species which are physically larger invariably possess a lower population density, possibly due to their enhanced energy demands,” writes Dr. Fergus in his paper. 

“As a result, we should expect humans to be physically smaller than most other advanced species.”

The challenge to the survivoillogical community is clear – need to review and rethink your SOS strategy! Aliens may be coming smart kaiju to a continent near you, less intent on laying eggs in your chest than systematically exterminating you and yours.

So how will you survive? Until the details are in, consider these handy tips as a starter guide.


1. Be Aware of Unusual Shadows

Yes, hidden underworld beings make them too but not like a giant alien. Got a sudden chill? Look up, waaaaay up! Is that a building? No?

Run to the nearest bunker immediately.

2. Insect Earthling Traps

If Earthlings are the insects of the universe that cockroach hotel could be a pest control trap for you, literally speaking.

Don’t be exterminated! Awesome architecture aside, avoid any structure that resembles a giant ant trap or smells of unknown chemicals.

3.  Protective Gear

In times like this, a good raincoat, boots and hat or tarp go a long way. To avoid contact with people pesticides wear them at all times when you exit your bunker.

Just be sure to safely remove and decontaminate all protective outerwear before you re-enter your domain or you could be responsible for an entire colony collapse.

Start there survivors and long may you keep on keeping on.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

OK Who Wished For A Blob Monster? Lyrid Meteor Showers Peak

The  Lyrid meteors peak tomorrow night and shower on through Saturday so have your wishes ready but remember, no wishing for blob monsters. Meteors showers bring enough of them already!


by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

New Dr. Frankenstein Reveals Global Head Transplant Army

New real life Dr. Frankenstein, Sergio Canavaro wants the world to know how he plans to start transplanting human heads with the help of his global army.
Dr. Sergio Canaverostein revealed the existence of his global head transplantation army in this phone interview as he promised to achieve the world’s first human to human head transplant by 2017.

“Let it be said that I already put together a veritable army all over the world, including the United States and Canada, that is ready to embark on this incredible moonshot,” brags the freaky doctor. “The procedure is actually very simple.

According to the Frankendoctor, all he needs is 36 hours, a coordinated team of about 150 nurses and… and ~ what was that other thing again?… Oh yeah! ~ a healthy donor body.

Human critics note that while the freaky doctor claims a “long line” of head donors among his global army, he makes no mention of the other half of the equation, ie: willing healthy donor bodies.

“This news should alarm every human who possesses a healthy human body with its own head,” warns SOS’s Seth Greening. “If you thought kidney snatchers were hazardous to your survival, can I remind you about the body snatchers?”

“Unless these head donors all plan to just swap bodies – which I doubt – then the world needs to prepare for a new Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”

Seth urges anyone with a healthy human body already attached to a head to fake an illness or neuro-muscular condition immediately.


1. Use a Mobility Device For A Prop

Better fakers can achieve a lot with a simple cane but can you really sustain that palsied gait 100% of the time? If not, you must consider shelling out the money for a more convincing prop, like a wheelchair. The good ones can also double as superfast getaway vehicles.

2. Wear a Medic Alert

A blood borne illness is easiest to act but maybe too subtle for a careless body snatcher who may forget to check for the jewelry until it’s too late.

3. Hide A Limb

Unless you can hop on one leg, arms will be easier than legs. Keep one or both arms safely stashed under your jacket and leave the empty sleeves swinging in the wind. Guaranteed to fool 55% of invading body snatchers under most weather conditions.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Anti-Vampire Party Planning - The Monstrometer Report


Whether you’re planning to attend a Halloween party later tonight, or planning one yourself, take a minute - actually 1.5 minutes – to watch this before you unlock the door to an unwanted guest of the undead kind! Your survival is guaranteed 99.93%*

*Some restrictions apply. Please read fine print below.

Thanks for keeping on keeping on. More Monstrometer Reports to come…

*Offer not valid for employees, family and friends of Seth on Survival. Void on Friday the 13th, Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day, Black Noodle Day, Cinco de Mayo, Valentines Day, New Years Day, Groundhog Day, Buddhist Festival of the Tooth, Christmas, April Fools Day, Solstice, Equinox, Thanksgiving, Sinter Klaas Day, Ninja Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day, Chanukah…

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

SOS Doppelgänger Day Danger Deja You


Whether you call them clones, evil twins or something more gangsta like doppelganger, this is the day to avoid – or do I mean face? them. Doppleganger Day is the result of a rigorous scientific calculation to determine the day of most double danger for you.  So don’t be caught on clone feet by your double dude. Be on the lookout for others who look too much like you today.*


While this sounds self-evident ~ easier said than done. How much do you really see yourself in that mirror afterall? I’m not just being philosophical here. That spinach between my teeth in my third video should be proof enough but did you ever show baby photos and ask a friend guess which one is you and wonder why they couldn’t?

Exactly! So today of all days, get a good hard look at yourself before you go out and stumble on your deja you.

Why? Because no matter what your doppelganger dogma, the copy around clones colliding on this day is never calming. Consider the following four fortunes:

1. One of You Must Die 


It goes like this. When you meet your Other, one of you must die, right there, on the spot. Without further ado, a doppleganger duel to the death must ensue, following the rules of the road. No extraneous conversation outside cap-worthy comments about how alike you really are or that you could have been friends…

2.You Will Die In 48 hours

(Full Disclosure: my personal belief.)

On the Day of the Doppleganger, any physical contact between doubles will result in a slow 48- hour death for the one whose world in which the encounter took place ie: this one.

That’s right certain death within 48 hours. “Certain,” that is unless… Unless what? Well that depends on the situation. But should you find yourself facing a 48-hours unless-death, you might want to spend the next 48 hours trying to figure that out.

On the bright side there usually IS one unless… 

Unless there isn’t.

3. Your Entire World Will End

We’re talking not just dead here. We’re talking erased from existence and all memory. So how does anyone even know about this happens? Just trust me. It’s a fact. And a nasty one at that.

4. You Go For Coffee With Someone Almost As Fascinating As You. 

Oh it sounds like a great outcome, I know. And if your doppleganger diary runs this way then lucky for you. But don’t blame me if it reads like mine….

...then he wouldn’t stop talking… and talking and talking, not even when I started pointing to my imaginary watch then signing up at FakeAngryGirlfriendTexts.com. Dude just loves to hear the sound of his own voice. I know, I know it IS a great voice….

So please Survivors, tomorrow more than ever, watch the spehelling on the site. And if you’re wondering WHY be sure and check out this helpy survival video on this timely topic here.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Have You Entered A Parallel Universe?

Three Signs From Science

Vibrating this week, the world of physics on a new theory of Many Intersecting Worlds, which is just like it sounds, namely the probability that many worlds could be colliding with the one you know as reality, at all times.

Previous to this, physicists thought other worlds existed

ManyWorldsIntersectOurOwnparallel to each other but that they never interacted. Now thanks to new research done in part by a physicist named Howard Wiseman in Brisbane, Australia, they are beginning to admit the possibility that many worlds could be exerting unknown forces on each other simultaneously.

As Wiseman said: “The idea of [human] interactions with other universes is no longer pure fantasy.”

Here at SOS we’ve known for years that Many Intersecting Worlds or MIWs are not just possible but in fact very likely. And dangerous! We’ve all woken up on the wrong side of the bed to discover there is in fact, no bed.

But new this week is some signs from science itself to help us think about the possibility that we may have inadvertently ended up in an alternate dimension.

So how can you tell if you’ve taken a wrong fork and ended up in an alternate reality? Let’s see what a Wiseman says that might help:

“In MIWs, all possibilities are realized, says Wiseman. “In some universes the dinosaur-killing asteroid missed Earth. In others, Australia was colonised by the Portuguese.”

So, three questions to ask yourself are:

1. Have You Made A Life-Changing Decision Lately? 

When all possible worlds intellect, taking a major life decision could trigger or indeed create possible intersections of opposite possibilities to each other. Should you find yourself in a world on the other side both familiar and yet completely the opposite of what you intended, this could be an indication you have inadvertently stepped into its opposite world.

You need to recall the possibility you faced and the life decision that brought you to this point to find out where you took a wrong step.

Which leads me to:

2. Is This World The Opposite of What You Intended?

Opposite worlds are paradoxically nearest to each other while simultaneously exerting a strong repulsive force to each other, says Wiseman. This opens the possibility of each major decision you make actually presenting the opposite path!

So don’t get sucked into a repulsive opposite world! Your first steps immediately following any life decision should be taken very, very carefully lest you find yourself inadvertently on the opposite world path. Know your true intentions! Check carefully to make sure you aren’t secretly fostering an opposite intention.In fact, better yet,

3. Look Before You Leap

Knowing now the danger of an opposite intention world of your intention that will unfold right beside your true path might enable you to see down it before you take those all important first steps.

Until scientists can work the exact math that will enable us to do this on our devices, don’t let that stop you from trying to see where that opposite world path may be lying in wait. Preferably before you find yourself riding off into the polar ice on a dingo or stuck on a mountain top when you were just trying to get to that party you didn’t really want to attend.

So stay alert to all possibilities survivor, and you’ll keep on keeping on out there, on whichever path you find yourself.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Monstrometer Report: Kaiju and You

Should you adopt a Kaiju for a pet? Like me, you have likely been considering the question since science broke the news last week about the giant rats taking over the world, one island at a time. But please before you decide, watch the latest Monstrometer Report. The SPCA and I both thank you in advance.

If you haven’t been informed about the rats going Kaiju, you can  read about it here:  http://sethonsurvival.com/survival-news/return-giant-rats-get-ready )
Thanks for keeping on keeping on with SOS and the Monstrometer Reports. Get ready for an important Survivor of the Month announcement.
Mothra is almost like a bee..

Mothra is almost like a bee..

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Introducing The Monstrometer Report

Hail Survivors,

I’m happy to announce on this fine full moon the survival of the first video in my new series, The Monstrometer Report,  a show that covers the supernatural survival news and views unfolding here on the site and around the world.

In this one, the burning question that should be on your mind anytime a fireball falls to Earth or even when you take out the trash: Am I living In An alien zoo? And if so, what to do?

Do you live in an alien zoo?

Do you live in an alien zoo?


Thanks to everyone for helping SOS keep on keeping on and especially for helping out with the site so I could make the new videos. You know who you are: Survivors of the Month, Hall of Famers and everyone who continues to share their supernatural advice and experiences here at SOS.  Long may you keep on keeping on, supernaturally.


by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

What's New in Monstrometer 3.0

Hail Survivors!

The new long-awaited update to the Monstrometer is finally here.  See below for a tease of the new features.

Thanks for keeping on keeping on!


Get it on the App Store! https://itunes.apple.com/app/monstrometer/id335896676

New features and a redesigned interface to help you keep on keeping on.
Now a universal app for iPad, iPhone and iPod Touch – Optimized for 4″ tall iPhone screens, 3.5″ iPhone screens and iPad.
Updated for iOS7 (also supports iOS 6 and iOS 5) – (if you have iOS 3 or iOS 4 you can still download version 2.2)
Retina Display support with higher resolution graphics throughout.

A nearly 0.01% increase in scan sensitivity.
Now over 12.8% more accurate diagnosis
30+ new interrogation questions
Easier access to stats, monsters and links.
Easy access to all SOS supernatural survival resources (web site, videos, ebooks, apps and supernatural survival diagnostic tools).

New Lunar Phase tracker to help you survive

Watch HD videos from within the app!

Modernized code for improved performance, compatibility and stability.



by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

SOS Mummies Rise Again Top Five Mummy Day Survival Tips

Mummy Day rises again, that one day of the year when mere mummies around the globe are released from their eternal slavery to roam free on the surface for 24 hours.

Mummy Day can be dangerous for everyone.

Yes, Mummy Day, the most dangerous day of the year, after the Winter Solstice and Kiss A Zombie Day in February and Easter of course, that one can be hard… a few others too. But Mummy Day is right up there, make no mistake.

If you’re a mummy, er… well, Happy Mummy Day to you. Please enjoy your day of freedom in the overworld responsibly.

However, if like me, you are NOT a mummy please read on, as dealing with mummies on this day can be tricky.

If you still believe like I once did, that mummies are just a kind of zombie in bandages – think again! Sure some of them groan and shamble in similar fashion, and yeah they are both prone to decay, but please be aware under those layers of neglect is a cursing magical being with a hidden eternal grudge against both gods and earthlings.

So how will you survive as the mummies roam free? Try the following tips, or share your own.

Top Five Mummy Day Survival Tips:

1. A Good Book

Preferably the Book of the Dead but other books will do in a pinch. Mummies just like it when you read to them. If you read the right passage, your mummy may go right back to sleep.

2. Find Your Mummy’s Canopic Jars

Every mummy has at least four of these jars somewhere, you just have to help find them. (The bathroom is often a good place to start.) These jars contain your mummy’s lungs, liver, intestines and stomach. Understandably, mummies get very distressed at the thought of losing their internal organs and this sometimes leads to them trying to rip out yours. So just ask your mummy outright, “Could you be upset because you lost your embalmed liver last night? Helping a mummy locate a missing liver is the best way to prevent the ripping out of yours.

  1. Locate your mummy's liver and protect your own!
    Locate your mummy’s liver and protect your own!
    3. Deal With The Decay

    Mummies, like zombies, are prone to decay. That is why they wear the bandages. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not retracting my previous statement about mummies and zombies. But they are prone to decay, that’s just a fact. So, today try helping your mummy deal with that decay. May I suggest a sturdy linen scarf or shroud or a formaldehyde facial at a spa that specializes in caring for mummies.

 4. Learn Life-Saving Hieroglyphs

Brush up on your Egyptian, both written and spoken.

A sophisticated hieroglypic trap

A sophisticated hieroglypic trap

Personally I know only one command that in my research is proven effective. In the case of a rampaging mummy, you take a piece of rope and throw it in the air and shout the word, “TAS” and the rope will wrap itself around the mummy like a snake. If you have more time than that, make a mummy trap with four strings, shoe laces or whatever really in the shape of the following hieroglyphs. Any mummy who steps on these hieroglyphs it is said will be safely entangled forever.

5. Trip To The Underworld

It’s a last ditch move, I don’t usually recommend it since you might never return and all but sometimes there’s no other way to deal with an out-of-control mummy but an unscheduled trip to the Underworld to plead your case with the gods there. Review your underworld safety tips and find a portal or an elevator near you!


by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Hovering Hawking Hologram Makes Multidimension Madness With One Direction Report About Zayn

Madness grips the multiverse this week after a hovering hologram of Stephen Hawking reports seeing Zayn still with One Direction in other dimensions.

Hawking hologram sees Zayn in another dimension.

Hawking hologram sees Zayn in another dimension.

A crowd of concerned One Direction fans in England continues to cause multidimensional traffic mayhem searching for Zayne after the famous physicist appeared in a hologram to report seeing him still with the band in another universe.

“The portals are all plugged with Zayn fans trying to find him in parallel universes!” complains one inter-dimensional travel agent.

“I can’t even book a simple personal travel hop this week let alone any historical revisionary tours.”

“How am I going to make the rent? I’m afraid I’ll have to skip out of this universe to avoid my landlord again,” he added.

Looking for Zayn in other dimensions.

Looking for Zayn in other dimensions.

Inter-dimensional travel agents are not the only ones concerned. According to the UK division of I.D.I. (Inter Dimensional Interpol), parents across the UK have reported their girls gone MIA.

“Saturday night Emily says she’s going to some Stephen Hawking thing at the Sydney Opera House I figure how bad can that be? He’s a scientist! Maybe this will help her get over that silly boy band breaking up or whatever,” said the mom of a missing girl at the I.D.I. station.

“She never came home and her friends all say she hopped a portal immediately and disappeared”

The I.D.I. is warning fans to resist searching for one of these Zayniverses but their words appear to be falling on deaf ears.

“Why don’t they understand? At present the odds of locating the right parallel dimension are astronomically bad,” grumbled one overworked officer taking reports downtown. “You’re just as likely to find the one where he’s a squeegee lad singing on the bonnet of your hover car.”

More media reports on this linked here but SOS wants to warn survivors against acting on Hovering Hawkings’ irresponsible claim that in one Zanyiverse he could be married to you.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Worm-ocalypse This Week Norway Doomy News Especially For Worms

(NORWAY) In doom weather news, worm rains have the whole world wondering if this is the beginning of the middle of the last third of the end at last, the worm-ocalpse itself, with none more worried than the worms themselves.

A skiing biology teacher named Karstein Erstand was the first to report finding these worms, thousands of them, lying on top of the snow.

Worms Rain in Norway.

Wormopalypse all week Norway.

“People have now observed the same phenomenon in many places in Norway,” Erstad told The Local news. “It’s very peculiar, I don’t know why so many people have discovered it. I don’t know if there have been some special weather conditions lately.”

While nobody yet knows the cause, the witches often responsible for apocalyptic precipitation like this have denied responsibility.

“Seth, do you seriously think we would bother with worms?” writes Goodwitch Maria, head of G.W.U.G. (Global Witches United for Good). “I am offended. So offended in fact that I am considering pelting you with apples again.”

Thankfully no demons haave responded to my email but the worms are clearly sounding the alarm.


But apocalypse watchers dispute the worms’ position with a call for calm.

Professor Dominicus Van Buren

Professor Dominicus Van Buren

“The beginning of the end is highly unlikely,” states Professor Dominicus Von Buren, citing a long list of other odd precipitates and plagues that have already occurred and detailing a list of others yet to occur. “At most we could be talking about the beginning of the middle of the last third of the end.”

Van Buren adds that he would not rule out a simple meteorological anomaly.

“It’s important to keep an open mind about these things.”

That said, if you are an earthworm, or a wereworm or you have an ear worm or you are friends with a worm, certainly it is past time to prepare. The CDC’s apocalypse survival guidelines is a good place start.

And of course, keep on keeping on here at SOS for all your truer-than-true supernatural news.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Supermoon Survivors 2015

Keep on for the link hunt,
See where they go,
Did they survive the Supermoon?
We may never know…

For ICE things not look so nice,

Who GLASS LILITH and how she explain this device?


Where they go?

And what did  AGENT RB know?

Why HATTER not able to use his hat?

What RAVEN have to say about that?

On a Supermoon dipped in white chocolate blood,

Who can say?

If any keep on

Keeping on another day.

Supernaturally speaking, of course.



by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

Easter Treat Alert-How To Beat the Bunny Man

Do your Easter traditions involve a candy hunt? Then  beware – The Bunny Man may be hunting you. Before you follow the foil eggs to a delicious but deadly conclusion, take a minute to remember the Bunnyman.

Easter brings the bunny man.

Easter brings the Bunny man.

Quick review. The Bunny Man or the Bunnyman as some call him for short, is how the world refers to the white chocolate demon spirit who was once just a happy mascot in a white bunny suit. Until the world rejected him and his promotional product, taking his job, his fame and even his family.

You can read the full story here but long story short, the Bunny Man went axe murderer before drowning himself in a factory vat of white chocolate.

Authorities insist to this day that they properly disposed of that vat of white chocolate along with the mascot’s chocolate covered corpse but nobody can explain how the Bunny Man continues to appear year after year from inside the hollow of an unholy number of white chocolate Easter bunnies.

Could the Bunny Man be hiding in the hollow of your tasty rabbit this Easter, his demonic axe in hand?

The answer is maybe. And probably. And yes, almost certainly.  Read on!

1. Be White Rabbit Aware

While no white chocolate should be declared 99.98% safe, SOS research indicates the tortured Bunny Man’s soul infuses only 58.4% of all white chocolate bunnies. Your most dangerous white chocolate bunny? All white, no eyes, long ears, hollow. Least likely to contain a leaping leporidae spirit inside it? White-dark chocolate swirl with eyes and icing.

Unsure if your white chocolate is hollow? Don’t waste time tapping to test if it taps back, take this SOS advice for survival and get out the hammer instead. That’s right:

2. SMASH before you GNASH

Smashed white chocolate tastes just as good as unsmashed white chocolate. Truer words were never spoken here on SOS and this Easter they could save your life. Were you an ear or toe nibbler in the past? Time to try a different tasting tactic. Get out the hammer and aim it right at that Trojan treat.

3. Safety First on the Egg Trail

Is that another white chocolate egg you just found? What are the odds they would all be white chocolate…

Pretty good when you’re dealing with a Bunny Man trap as it turns out. If you don’t know the true nature of that egg, you need to stop stashing them and start smashing them. Or at least unwrap to check. If they have a candy coating, you’re going to have to bite it. It’s okay, the eggs are still tasty, and one white egg probably doesn’t mean the Bunny Man will get you - yet - but if your trail has turned to all white eggs, you probably won’t like what you find at the end of it.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com